Psychological Reversal: The Root of Self-Sabotage

When we want to improve our lives we set an intention of what we would like and then we look for results. We may have visualized the result and taken some actions. Why do our intentions fall short of our desired results? Maybe it’s a little thing called “counter intention.”

Counter Intention is a belief we hold in direct opposition to our conscious intention buried in our subconscious mind. We may for example have intent to weigh less. In the subconscious we may have a belief if we look good and attract more partners than we will have to be more intimate, yet we fear intimacy.

So which intent will win? Our subconscious or counter intention always wins because it has the greater power.

The conflict sets up an energy block within us and since our subconscious has the greater power we end up getting the opposite of our conscious intent. The energy system within our body changes polarity - a Psychological Reversal. All self-sabotage results from Psychological Reversal.

We can compare Psychological Reversal to positive and negative batteries in a flashlight. They need to be properly installed for the flashlight to work. Polarity change means the positive and negative energy systems in our body have been switched and we get the opposite of our conscious choices.

Psychological Reversal occurs when our subconscious mind believes it is better for us to keep our chronic pain, extra weight, or bad habit rather than change.
The following explains in brief detail how our inner child, Shadow, or victim consciousness may sabotage our success.

Cathryn Taylor a counselor and author of The Inner Child Workbook explains how our inner child can sabotage us. Our inner child sabotages our efforts to succeed in an attempt to protect us from failure . . . it fears our success! It fears our being too powerful. It is frightened we will get hurt.

Our Shadow sabotages us when we deny it and push feelings and behaviors we dislike down into our subconscious. As Carl Jung said the Shadow is, The negative side of the personality, the sum of all those unpleasant qualities we like to hide, together with the insufficiently developed functions. For example, intense reactions to others may indicate the same qualities within ourselves we refuse to face.

According to John O’Neill, The Paradox of Success, our Shadow can sabotage success by an imbalanced focus on acquiring power, inappropriate sexual relations, overly pursuing money, or addictive behavior. Do any famous people come to mind?
Finally, our victim mentality sabotages us through subconscious thoughts of being unworthy and powerless. Victims fail to recognize themselves as victims to their own critical thoughts and beliefs.

CREATING STRESS AND SELF-SABOTAGE

Janie Behr, a life coach, talks about ways we create self-sabotage. She says, Over reacting to stressful situations is a form of self-sabotage that causes emotional stress. Do you know people who create unnecessary conflicts and emotional drama?
Do you engage in a lot of negative self-talk inside your head? Do you interpret positive events as negative? Do you sabotage yourself by creating self-fulfilling prophecies to prove your negative beliefs? You can learn how to change the negative self-talk into positive self-talk

Do you sabotage your relationships by being aggressive rather than assertive? Do you know the difference between aggressive and assertive? Do you let others walk all over you for fear of saying no and sabotage your own self-esteem? You can learn how to be assertive and also speak up and say no to begin establishing good personal boundaries.

Do you sabotage yourself by taking a pessimistic view and seeing things worse than they are? This undermines your esteem, health, and success.

Which of the self-sabotage methods apply to you? Do you want to reduce the stress in your life and quit sabotaging yourself? If so break through your denials, discover and express your unmet needs, strive to uncover your unconscious patterns of pain, face your fears, and take back your power.

SABOTAGE: DOUBTS AND FEARS

We all have fears and doubts. Kishori Aird, a professional naturopath and a medical-intuitive, says, It is far better to acknowledge those fears and doubts straight up and use that energy to propel us towards our goals than it is to have that energy, unexpressed, oppose those goals.

Aird recommends the use of any positive statements needs to also recognize our doubts. When we add even if . . . to our statements, this gives our saboteur a voice. An example might be, I choose to improve my self-esteem even if I doubt it will get better.

TIPS TO MOVE BEYOND SABOTAGE

1. Do you tend to focus on what is wrong or missing in your life? Does this attract more of the same? Instead focus on all the things that do work. The Law of Attraction says, Where your attention goes, your energy flows.

2. Do you spend a lot of time worrying about or fearing the future? Instead focus on solutions and take action when you can. Even small actions can make a difference.

3. Do you sabotage by comparing yourself to others and then feel bad? Instead think about, write out, and focus on daily qualities or strengths you have or can develop.

4. Do you feel worthless or less than? Do you make excuses for yourself? Begin looking in the mirror, morning and evening, and say, I love myself. Your critical thoughts will emerge. Pay attention to them and continue the mirror exercise for a minimum of twenty-one days straight. What do you notice has changed? Do you value and appreciate yourself more?

5. Do you live in the past, in past failures? How can you learn from your failures and grow?

OVERCOMING SABOTAGE

We can choose to become aware of our unconscious beliefs through reprogramming methods such as the one explained in Carolyn Ball’s book, Claiming Your Self-Esteem.

We can also use ways to dissolve and release these beliefs once we become aware of them. One way is Byron Katie’s, The Work, which has questions for releasing beliefs which no longer serve us. The four questions include:

1. Is this belief true?
2. Who would I be without the thought?
3. Could I let this go?
4. Would I let this go? When?

Then like Carolyn Ball’s reprogramming choose a new belief.

Joe Vitale in The Key also has a method of reprogramming unconscious beliefs, which block attracting our intents. Joe says, We are unconsciously attracting the wrong things. The Key tells of Joe’s journey out of poverty.

The Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT – also has a method for dealing with subconscious objections or yes-buts that may arise to sabotage the positive affirmations used as part of the EFT. Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, calls the yes-buts “tail enders.”

EFT combines tapping certain acupressure points on the body while repeating a specific choice statement to release physical or emotional issues. The method would include the original statement and an antidote to the tail ender. For example, the original choice: “I choose to be successful in my business.” The tail ender: But if I am successful other people will ridicule me the way my father used to.” The antidote: I choose to feel respected even when I am successful.” The final statement: I choose to feel respected even when I am successful in my business.” See www.emofree.com/Articles2/self-sabotage-tail-enders.htm for how to use EFT for negative tail enders.

I believe most of us would like to heal our pain or suffering. We may, however, have been unaware of the causes or methods to do so. Even further, we may be unaware of how sabotage occurs to thwart our best intentions. We may fail to recognize or heal our wounded inner child. We may deny the Shadow parts of our personalities. We may choose to allow our victim mentality to keep us powerless and feeling unworthy.