Consequences and Resolution Behavior Modification

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine "pinned" a fantastic idea that included a storage box of items that children had left out and the parent had to pick up.

To get their items back, they had to choose a chore from an envelope and complete the task.

I knew immediately that with a few changes and a bit of a different spin, this would be a great tool to help me with general behavior modification for my children.

* The Idea:

Using a see-through box, with a friendly note and a resolution log, I can "store" any items that have been confiscated, until amends have been made.

This new method will help my children understand the consequences of their actions and how they can remedy the situation.

It also makes clear to them that the discipline handed down is going to stick until the period of time is up and/or chores that were assigned have been completed.

Whenever they have a question about still being grounded or if they can have their ____(item that is in safe-keeping)___ back, I can send them to the log for answers.

Since everything is in writing, this technique also makes me accountable for sticking with the plan that was initially laid out.

In addition, the beauty of using a see-through box is that I have eliminated the "out-of-sight, out-of-mind" issue, which often lessens a punishment because children have already moved on to other forms of entertainment.

Now, they are gently reminded of their poor choice by having a visual of their items locked in a box where they can see, but not touch them, until they have completed the path for resolution.

Inspired Note: If they are grounded from something that can not go in the box, such as the TV or hanging out with friends, just add it to the log, as well.

* The Plan:

1. Put a lock on a mesh, see-through box that is large enough to hold various technological items, such as: tablets, hand-held gaming systems, audio players and cell phones.

2. Make a note with a clear description of the plan for disciplinary action and resolution.

Inspired Note: Look under "Resources" below for a modifiable version of mine.

My note states,

"Everyone Needs a Reminder Sometimes!

Actions have consequences and on this log are yours,

Complete the following tasks to unlock the doors.

Once you have succeeded and learned through this chore,

The marker attached will make your mistake be no more.

Thank you! Love, Mom and Dad"

3. Put the note in a clear sheet protector and attach it to the mesh box with a loose leaf paper metal ring.

4. Develop a Consequences and Resolution Log in spreadsheet form.

Inspired Note: Look under "Resources" below for my version.

My log has seven columns, entitled:

Date, Whom, Item(s) in Keeping, Reason, Chores, Date, and OK'd.

"Date" is the date of the mishap.

"Whom" is the person that committed the mishap.

"Item(s) in Keeping" are whatever physical items that we have confiscated, such as a tablet, gaming system or phone.

"Reason" is a general explanation, such as arguing, fighting with sibling, grades, talking at school, and so on. Specific details do not need to be mentioned here. Instead, they should be discussed in private with the child that is involved.

"Chores" are the combination of tasks that must be completed for the situation to be remedied. These include actions, such as writing letters of apology, doing something nice for the person they hurt, or even physical work in the form of cleaning the house, picking weeds, and/ or doing laundry.

Inspired Note: There should be one chore per line, so that the child can quickly see what is expected of them and the parent can keep track of completed chores more easily.

"Date" refers to when a specific chore was completed.

"OK'd" is the initials of the parent who signed off that the chores were done correctly.

5. Put the Consequences and Resolution Log in a separate clear sheet protector and add it to the ring, behind the note.

6. Put a black, permanent marker (with it's own small ring) onto the loose leaf paper metal ring, as well. This will ensure that the marker always stays with the box.

Inspired Note: It is vitally important to completely mark through the line that describes a child's mistake. They should not have to be reminded constantly about their mishap.

7. Now that the box is completely put together, display it in a place where they can see it relatively easily, so that the "out of sight, out of mind" syndrome does not kick in and the technique becomes irrelevant.

8. Finally, it is important to thoroughly explain the Consequences and Resolution Box to your children and answer any questions that they have.

I hope this behavior modification technique gets a chance to work for you, too!

Here's to another Inspired Minute!