Sayings such as; "it's a dog-eat-dog world" and you better "look out for number one", come from a mindset of lack, limitation and fear. This kind of mindset creates intense competition, where hearing NO is more common than hearing YES.
Competition is an encouraged part of our culture. It is considered the best way to get ahead. We’re taught that “winning” is the way to success, while “losing” is a stamp of disgrace. The idea that someone wins and the other person loses implies that when one person “wins” they take the limited resources and when someone loses they now lack for something. This kind of thinking brings on fear.
So the thinking goes, if others get what they want, I can’t get what I want. Getting to the YES is as simple as leaving this competition belief behind and realizing we have the choice to respond in a more creative way to life. In contrast to competition, a creative perspective is based on thinking strategically with the goal of finding options that everyone can be happy with.
How To Get to the YES!
The place to start when you want to create satisfying results for everyone--rather than compete to see who will win--is to begin with the alignment process. Is everyone on the same page? Do you want similar results? Establishing alignment is the first step in successful joint ventures.
The process of creating alignment starts by getting clear about what is important to everyone. It is cooperating with those involved to co-create a shared vision of success. Alignment smoothes the way for everyone to get to the YES, because it allows for easy agreements and abundant results. These results produce greater satisfaction for everyone involved.
Wow, just think for a moment about creating your life the way you want it. That life would be complete with effective communication and solutions crafted where everyone is working toward the same goal.
Of course alignment is only the first step. Skills such as developing a values vocabulary and learning all the steps to successful negotiation with others will ensure a long life of happy co-creation. For now, start by identifying a competitive situation in your life and readjust your thinking away from lack, limitation and fear. Toss the thought of competition and replace it with alignment! See if by leaving, “someone wins and another person loses” aside, you can view it from a creative perspective and look for solutions that will be enjoyable to everyone involved.
Before you know it you will be Getting to the YES!
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