No matter how long you and your partner have been together, it doesn't take long for the two of you to become disconnected.
Between work and family demands on your time and energy, staying close to your mate can easily get lost in the shuffle. And from a place of disconnection, miscommunication, confusion, resentment and conflict can develop and build.
At some point, you might look at your love relationship or marriage and wonder why you two are still together? It can feel like you and your mate are merely “roommates” with little or no passion happening between you.
Love and marriage simply don't have to be this way!
We don't care how overloaded you and your partner are. You can still have the close, passionate-- even red hot-- connection that you desire.
A recent comic strip depicts a pair of busy parents. The man is working to fix a light switch in one room of a house as the woman dashes off to drop one child off at a soccer match and pick another one up from a friend's house.
The man asks his partner to come in the room he's working in before she leaves. She exclaims that she has no time, but she goes in the room anyway. He takes her in his arms for a deep and close embrace.
We readers see the woman instantly relax and melt into the loving hug her partner has offered her.
Staying close and connected can be just as simple as that.
The Hug “Cure”
A hug, or other gentle physical touch, can be an instantaneous way to re-connect and come together with your mate-- even if it lasts for a short time.
When a hug is offered and then accepted, it can be magical and can seem to “cure” the tension and distance that may have formed in your relationship.
Even if there's more to work out in a particular situation, a loving caress or an embrace where both are present and open, can help heal emotional wounds and bring you and your partner together again.
If you and your mate have had a disagreement, there are times that a hug-- when both are open to it-- can appear to melt away the conflict. Sometimes loving physical touch can be more expressive and deeper-reaching than any words you could choose.
Make Eye Contact
We often lecture to children about the importance of making meaningful eye contact with others. But we don't always follow our own advice with those we love the most.
We know, we live in a busy, multi-tasking kind of world. It isn't always practical to be in constant eye contact with your partner, or your children for that matter.
Make it your goal to stop what you are doing and make eye contact with your partner at least 3 times each day.
Again, this doesn't have to be for hours and hours at a time. Re-connection and a sense of tuning in to your mate can happen in a mere few minutes or even seconds.
This practice is most beneficial when both you and your partner are willing to pause and connect with your eyes and full attention at the same time.
For example, in the comic strip scenario mentioned above, if the woman had tried to hug or make eye contact with the man while he was trying to re-wire that light switch, his full attention could not be with her in that moment. It would be dangerous!
Say “I love you”
As cliché as it may seem, a heart-felt “I love you” can help you move closer to your partner in positively dramatic ways. You might routinely say “I love you” to your mate every night before going to sleep or every morning before you two part and go to work for the day.
But when you infuse emotion and deep meaning into this phrase-- and combine it with eye contact and a gentle embrace-- these are quite powerful words to say!
Take a few moments and inwardly acknowledge how much appreciation you have for your partner. Really get in touch with the reasons why you are choosing to be in a relationship with him or her. Allow those wonderful, passionate emotions to come through as you speak these words.
We know that you were well aware of the great way hugging, eye contact and saying “I love you” feel when you share them with your mate.
What we want you to do is to remember the power of these simple actions and words and use them often in your day-to-day life-- no matter how busy you both are.
Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors who help people create lives that are filled with more passion, love and connection. For more tips on turning up the heat in your love relationship, sign up for their free mini-course at Red Hot Love Relationships.com