The Dalai Lama was giving teachings in Dharamsala, India. It was crowded and cold and very uncomfortable sitting on mats on the concrete floor. Deb was longing to go back to our hotel room so she could meditate quietly on her own when we heard him start talking about the dangers of solitary peace. He spoke of how tempting it can be to want to be on our own, but how easily this can disengage us from the reality around us. That it is vital to be in communication, engaged in giving, sharing and caring for each other. And that the giving of ourselves is the greatest act of generosity.
President Barack Obama is talking about the need for service in the rebuilding of America and how, by us coming together, we can make things work in these difficult times. Yes, We can do it! The great spiritual teachers from all traditions taught that this path of service is the most important of all as it asks for us to be less self-centered. Through caring for others we are able to step outside of ourselves and release any sense of separateness. It also brings enormous joy to the one being served.
Through service we learn that in giving we do not lose anything, we do not have any less. Rather, we gain so much. As our friend Mathew Gerson, founder of eConscious Market, says: Giving. It’s the new getting. We may feel we have little to offer but whether it is a few pennies or a whole bankroll, a smile, a cup of tea or a banquet, is irrelevant; it is the act of giving itself that is important. As Gandhi said, Almost anything we do will seem insignificant, but it is very important that we do it.
And as one of our teachers, Sri Swami Satchidananda taught: “Who is the most selfish person? It is the one who is most selfless! Why? Because by being selfless, you will always retain your happiness. A selfish person can never be happy. So to be happier, be more selfless! Look at the apple tree, it gives thousands of fruits. What’s more, if you throw a stone at an apple tree it gives even more fruit. Throw a stone at a person and you know what you will get!”
Service is not about how much we serve, or about giving just for the sake of giving. We need to see with wise discrimination what is needed, what would help most, and how we can be of help. True generosity is giving without expectation; there is no desire that something will be received in return. Swami Chidananda used to bathe lepers. When we were last with him in Rishikesh, India, his open-hearted generosity was very inspiring. As we were leaving he said to us, Be happy and make others happy!
Although the main purpose of service is not to feel good ourselves, service is one of the quickest routes to wellbeing. Seeing the gratitude of those being helped brings us even greater joy. It takes us out of our own neediness and into the lives of those who have greater needs so we can see our self-centeredness in greater perspective. One Christmas, when we were living in Brighton, England, we spent the day serving dinner to the homeless. We have never enjoyed a Christmas more, nor laughed and sang more heartily. The thankfulness of those being fed humbled us beyond words.
Let us try to take some time to ponder what we can do to make someone else’s life a little easier, or how to ask for help we may need. As our friend Barbara Wilder, author of Money is Love, says, “No matter how little you have, there is always someone who has less. Give whatever you can to someone who could use a little help, and be open to receiving help from others.” Post a comment with your suggestions.
I slept and dreamt that life was joy
I awoke and saw that life was service
I acted and behold, service was joy.
Rabindranath Tagore
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Ed and Deb Shapiro’s new book, BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You And The World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors such as Marianne Williamson, astronaut Edgar Mitchell, Byron Katie, Michael Beckwith, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Gangaji, Ellen Burstyn, Ed Begley, Dean Ornish, Russell Bishop, and others, will be published November 3rd 2009 by Sterling Ethos.
Deb is the author of the award-winning book YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND. Ed and Deb are the authors of over 15 books, and lead meditation retreats and workshops. They are corporate consultants, and the creators of Chillout daily inspirational text messages on Sprint cell phones. See: www.EdandDebShapiro.com
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