Energy is physical and emotional and both your physical and emotional energy affect each other. Have you ever been through a difficult emotional time – a break-up or divorce, or a difficult financial situation? It drains your physical energy doesn’t it? And when you are physically exhausted it affects your mood and impacts how things can grate on you that normally might not.
My children have often said to me how much older I looked when I was coming out of a very difficult relationship. It drained me physically and emotionally and it showed in my looks and my attitude to life. I certainly wasn’t a magnet of attraction at that point in my life.
Energy is one of the three resources we have – the other two being time and money. Successful people are conscious of these precious resources and their success is down to how they manage these resources. We all have these same resources, but what you do with them is the difference between whether you will be a confident, centred, resourceful and attractive single or not.
Energy And The Attraction Factor
Your energy level gets reflected in how you approach your life and in what you attract in your life. When you have a lot of energy, you are more positive, you are more resourceful, more optimistic, you feel more confident and you tend to attract the same in your life.
When you feel drained, whether it be physically or emotionally, you are more negative, you are less resourceful, less optimistic, feel less confident and you tend to attract the same in your life.
And to be honest who would you be more attracted to – someone who seems to be carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders or someone who radiates a positive energy?
Not long ago a I was walking to my gym and I noticed this woman walking further ahead of me. I thought I recognised her as a colleague I had worked with years before, but I wasn’t sure. My former colleague was 10 years younger than me and this woman looked much older.
Was I shocked when I saw her in the gym and it was my former colleague! She looked old and haggard and the energy from her felt heavy. We exchanged a few words and I told her about my book that was just getting published. Her response was startling – she sneered some sarcastic remark and just walked off.
Now if I was ooking for someone to share my life with – I’d stay a million miles away from someone like that!
You might say to me that she was going through a hard time and I could accept that, but successful individuals choose the physical and emotional energy they want in their lives – regardless of their situation. They are not victims to what happens around them – they choose how they want to be. And the advantage to that is, when they do face a difficult situation – they have the internal energy to better cope with it.
“The better you feel, the more resourceful a state you will be in.
When you are in a resourceful state,
you can draw on more resources when times are challenging”
Susanne Jorgensen
(Get Real! Relationship Is An Inside Job, 7 Stratgies For Attracting Love)
How Do You Rate?
How would you rate your energy level on a scale of 1-10 with 1 meaning you have no energy to 10 being you are full of energy? If you scored yourself at the lower end of the scale, do you know what’s getting in the way of you feeling more energised? Do you know what you need to be doing more of or less of to keep your energy levels at optimum level?
Different people will need to keep their energy levels topped up in different ways. Introverts and extroverts, for example, derive their energy in different ways.
The extravert tops up their energy levels by being around other people – preferably lots of people. The introvert, however, can feel drained of energy when they are around a lot of people or when they spend too much time in the company of others. They recharge their battery by having time and space on their own. And here is where a problem for many couples lies.
If you get and introvert and an extrovert together who each preserve and top up their energy levels in different ways, you can see where problems can brew if they don’t understand their differences.
The introvert may accuse their extroverted partner of not wanting to spend time alone with them, or of being out and about too much. The extravert, on the other hand, may accuse their introverted partner of being boring and never wanting to go out, preferring to stay at home all the time. Either way, each partner can easily worry that they aren’t loved or they may feel rejected by their partner
It’s important to remember that these differences are not right or wrong ways of being – they are just differences. Throwing accusations is pointless. It’s about knowing who you are and what you need to do to manage your energy levels.
At the end of the day, difference is just difference. Life is about being the best of you and making use of your strengths and resources – not about trying to become some other type of person. You want to attract someone who loves YOU, not who you are pretending or trying to be.
Top Tips
1. Make a decision – choose to fill yourself and your life with positive energy – no matter what the circumstances and learn from people who do that well.
2. Stay clear of energy vampires – or find ways of shielding yourself from their energy if you have to be around them
3. Define and get clarity about what your needs are to maintain and recharge your energy levels
4. When you do get in a relationship explain that to your partner and understand what their needs are.
5. If you and your partner are complete opposites, you may have to negotiate to a degree but don’t try to be someone you aren’t and don’t try to make your partner try to be someone they aren’t. That will eventually lead to the death of your relationship.
Most importantly, enjoy what the energetic life brings your way!!
Susanne Jorgensen - Get Real! Relationship Success Is An Inside Job - http://tinyurl.com/yjfbjk3
My name is Susanne Jorgensen of the Singles Gym – I am a relationship coach and professional psychologist who works with single people to help them develop the beliefs and strategies for creating successful lives and attracting successful relationships.