Right before getting hitched, all men will have to deal with their worries. They can differ from each guy, and it doesn't help that men don't open up and talk about their fears. They are often what are preventing him from proposing, or even getting married. If you could understand them and help them, then conceivably it would free him in taking the next step ahead in the relationship. So here are some worries men worry about before becoming engaged.
Is there someone better out there?
Many individuals grow up conceiving in the concept of a one true love, finding the soul mate. One of his worries may be that he hasn't met her yet, and that he might be making the misstep of passing by her, or meeting her after getting hitched.
Men need to realize that soul mates aren't so much met, as they are made. Relationships take time, commitment, and sweat to make beautiful. They aren't just walked upon, so he can quit looking outwards to find her, but look inwards to growing one with you.
When the marriage is over, things aren't as good
Marriage is one of the last expected highlights people look to in life. So the anticipation that all things in life go sour and get less involved from there is connected to getting married. This is an anxiety he could be going through and why he hesitates to commit.
It's unjust that this myth is blamed on weddings. The myth should really be blamed on people who let their lives get so dull. The only way all things go sour from there, is if people let it happen. People need adventurous goals in their lives to live rewarding and thrilling lives and this is the single thing that will prevent a boring life. A woman can help that change.
She will change
Because he's devoted to the relationship, she will change, she will let things change and perhaps the way she treats him will be different as well.
Let him understand that if she hasn't already changed or let things slide after dating him for such a long time, she isn't about to change after marriage. They're just his fears playing in his mind.
Will I still have personal space?
Men don't like being crowded. In relationships they demand to continue their individuality and be presented their own free time and space, more so than women do. One of his worries is that his spouse will overcrowd him and reject him his private zone after they're married. What's worse is that throughout the planning periods of the engagement where much of his focus is necessary, he can imagine this as how life together is going to be and the amount of his attention will be needed.
Grant him to take a break from the arrangements from time to time and don't go into his personal space too often. Never forget that designing weddings for guys isn't as exciting as women find it. Giving him the distance he wants will show him that you see his need for room and that you are willing to take care of his wants for the rest of his life.
Will the relationship change?
He has noticed it in like couples that have gotten wed. He's seen how it seems when the honeymoon phase is complete. Some spouses end up hating and fighting with one another. One of his fears is that your feelings for each other will be altered after getting married.
Keeping in mind the unsavory things can be a lot simpler to remember than the best experiences. Suggest to him that there are couples that make it, and have stimulating and satisfying lives. All dates take commitment, experience, and dedication. Let him realize that his engagement is not in the hands of destiny alone, but in his hands and will develop as much as he wants and puts in the time.
No longer free to make his own choices
After committing to marriage his obligations and devotion will no longer be only for himself, they will become for his wife. If children come eventually, he will have even less time and strength for personal use. His anxiety is that more and more of his life is disappearing from his hands as he takes these steps in a new direction.
Explain to him that as much as he spends time and energy to his wife and children, they will be the ones handing it back to him, in the form of; bliss, love, purpose, and accomplishment in life. He won't just be pouring out without receiving anything in trade; he will be receiving from the very individuals he contributes to, which is what love is all about.
What about his freedom?
His friends have probably joked around with him about how life for him is over, how he can't have independence or time to himself. This can create an anxiety that he will have no free-will after getting wed, that his decisions will be left up to his woman.
There is a price in getting wed, and there are sacrifices that are joined along with engagements. However, what was left out of that strand of reflection is that there are benefits that come with it as well. Where he sacrifices his single life, there is much to look up to in a joint lifestyle. Remind him of the happily married guys he knows.
We know that men can be stubborn when it comes to being open about their fears. Understanding what he is concerned about in getting married will help us comprehend how he thinks. Learning how to answer his fears can help calm them. Through proper talking you may be able to make him to take the next steps upward in a relationship.
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Loves traveling, cooking, and fine wine. Her hobbies inclued hanging out with friends, sea sports, and writing. Sea sports such as swimming, sea kayaking, and diving have been a big part of her life as she grew up near the water.
Amy enjoy's writing about relationship and dating. She has been writing for the last 10 years for various blogs and websites.
Currently lives in Vancouver B.C.