Give me one moment, I can give you life, not as one may have imagined, not with mortal thought, touch deeper than flesh could ever allow, a delight of senses real and not of this world, in our moment of eternal connection all else watches and waits. Daniel King, Rumi-Nations
The first day of school…. Your first love…. Your first adult heartbreak…. Your first broken arm…. Your 21st birthday…. Your first marriage…. Your first-born…. Your first death…. Your first big illness…. Your first real love…. Your first acceptance of the inevitable…
Life is a series of moments, isn’t it? When you go back to your old school for the first time, it’s like you never left. Life comes flooding back. The highs and lows, friends and enemies. Where did you make out? Behind the bleachers? Perhaps you were a star student or smoked pot behind the school.
How about when you smell your grandmother’s perfume. Or your dad’s aftershave. Or your first heady smell of attraction. Do you remember? What do you feel?
What do you remember when you hear the song from your wedding. Does it take you back to the upsets, the friendships, the laughter? Our senses remember, even if our conscious minds don’t.
If some memories aren’t in our mind, where do we keep them? They’re hidden deep inside our bodies, waiting to get out. When we have a powerful experience, our mind floods our body with feeling. Sometimes, we don’t notice the emotion because we’re busy surviving. Or maybe it seemed inappropriate, like crying in front of others. Perhaps our minds were trapped under anesthesia, while our bodies still felt traumatized by surgery. Or our newborn selves couldn’t process the drama of our birth.
Whatever caused the event, we didn’t recognize or express our feelings through tears, tantrums, movement or self-expression. When we shake while speaking our truth, our emotional energy is released into the world. Literally. It’s scientifically measurable. When we ruthlessly control our sorrow, our bodies hold on, like a battery holds a charge, and this trapped energy effects our tissues, cells and even our dna.
Unfelt, unrecognized feelings cause heath and relationship problems. Our nervous systems reacts as if the trauma was happening again and again. Tightening up our muscles, stressing out our bodies. And while we’re re-living it, our minds look for someone or something to blame. A way to express. A way to remember and become whole.
So how do to release these emotions? Sometimes, we do it unconsciously, by setting up a similar relationship or experience, recreating the story so we can feel what we denied. Or we seek out horror films, or dramas, or comedies that touch us deeply.
For more hidden or complicated feelings, some see a professional, like a body or energy worker, to touch your body and encourage you to feel what your tissues remember. Or, just by living and letting yourself feel as often as possible. Your life, in all it’s complications and theater will touch you eventually, and you will finally break free from the chains that bind you.
Rita Hickman is a shiatsu massage therapist and energy worker, writer/director/musician/producer, wellness mentor and happiness guru. She is the owner of InSpire, a physical and virtual wellness center and on the board of Living Naturally, a non-profit connecting people with holistic and cultural medicines. You can find more of her and Daniel King's work at inspiremassage.com