Why are Partners Unfaithful
Over the years I have been asked “Why did he/she do it” below are reasons that partners make the choice to go outside the marriage. This is a list of 13 of the most common reasons that people go outside of the marriage for an affair is not a justification, it is intended to shed some light on what is going on with the unfaithful partner.
1. They are conflict avoiders and have a hard time expressing themselves
2. They feel unheard
3. They feel neglected
4. They are angry at their spouse
5. They are bored with the relationship
6. They are depressed or unhappy with their life
7. They are lonely
8. They feel criticized by their partner
9. They want to feel desirable
10. Lack of emotional intimacy in their relationship
11. Lack of sexual intimacy
12. Life style change (new job, travel, excessive stress with in ability to
communicate in the marriage.
13. They are addicted to sex
Identifying the reason(s) why a partner goes outside their relationship is a first step to a couple coming together after an affair. As they understand the issue(s) together a couple can develop a plan to work on each area that has motivated the unfaithful partner to stray. I’m not excusing the behavior, I am saying for a couple to move forward they have to work on the issues that caused the dissatisfaction in the first place.
For more information feel free to contact Dr. Marty at wwwYourMarriageCounselor.com
Dr. Marty Tashman has been a therapist for over 30 years. He believes that combining compassion and common sense with formal training and experience is the most effective way to help a couple deals with challenges they are facing. Marty tells his clients that therapy should help change come about during the very first session. Of course, problems are not solved immediately, but every meeting should bring the couple to learning how to become closer to each other. He does not think relationships can always be “fixed”, but if both partners want things to work they have taken an important step towards being a couple.
Dr. Tashman holds a doctorate in Clinical Psychology; he is a licensed Marriage Counselor, and a certified Social Worker. He holds a master’s degree in Counseling. He specializes in short term marriage counseling. Dr. Marty also works with couples where one partner is struggling with addiction. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Marty, call 1-888-281-5850.