Marriage after an affair is not impossible, but it can feel like it at times. What do you do if your husband cheats on you? Should you divorce him or try to work it out? That answer to that really relies on you and how deep your love for him is. But to digress a minute, if you’re going to reconcile and avoid divorce then it’ll be helpful to know why he cheated in the first place.
Men typically think of sex more than women do. And for the most part, for men it’s just that. Sex. The myth about men thinking about sex every 7 seconds has been busted. According to http://kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html 54% of men think of sex several times a day. So it’s not like we think of sex every waking second. Now, let’s look at some reasons why they cheat.
Sometimes men cheat just because they could. Unlike women, men don’t need a prerequisite to having an extra-marital affair. Typically, a man gets excited when he finds out that another woman wants to have sex with him. And for some men, that’s all they need to spark the affair. Again, like I said earlier to men it’s just sex. There’s usually no emotion involved.
Another reason why men cheat is because we’re not supposed to. I never wanted to smoke my first cigarette until I saw my first no smoking sign. Once a man gets married he now sees all that he CAN’T have and stops focusing on all that he does have. So the thought of cheating is exciting. Kind of like a teenager sneaking out of the house at night to see his girlfriend. The mere excitement of cheating is exciting. Again, there’s nothing loving or emotional about that. It’s almost animalistic and emotionless.
A third reason a man will cheat on his wife is he’s either curious or he’s bored with his wife. Curiosity will sneak up on you after you’ve been with a person for a long time. You may get curious to see what it would be like to be with someone else. Boredom will set in around the same time. Unless new things are happening in the bedroom, we get bored and begin to find the next exciting thing. Similar to a 3 year old with a box of toys. He’ll play with all the toys in a short period of time, make a mess and look for something else.
Peer pressure of all things can lead a man to cheat also. One of the strongest forces to getting a person to do something is peer pressure. Sad thing is peer pressure usually doesn’t pressure a person into anything good. For example, a married man’s single friends may tell him stories about their wild sex lives and all the women they sleep with. Sounds too good for the man to pass up, so the evil seed of adultery is planted.
The final reason we’ll discuss does have to do with emotions, but not love. After you’re married for a number of years both parties stop complimenting each other. Even if the man goes to the gym 3-5 days a week and looks better than he did when he got married, the woman more often than not still won’t pay him a compliment. The husband then feels unappreciated. At this point, it may only take a smile from a pretty that’ll lead him to an affair.
To wrap things up, more often than not when a man cheats it has nothing to do with love and romance and everything to do with physical pleasure. It’s selfish and immature. However, it can be easily avoided with communication and a little spice in your marriage. Ladies, you like dinners and dancing and romantic stuff. And that’s fine. Men like new and wild activities behind closed doors with you. Have this conversation early in your marriage to avoid pitfalls in the future.
However, if he has cheated on you already you still need to talk to him and find out what drove him over the edge. Odds are he’s still in love with you and doesn’t want to leave. If you still love him then work out a plan of forgiveness and get some counseling from your church or a professional.
If you are in the position where your partner has cheated on you, your trust in them is likely to be shattered. Learn how to survive an affair and save your marriage if you have been cheated on. Visit Save Your Marriage After An Affair for more information.