I've noticed a lot of changes in myself as a direct consequence of aging. Overall, I have a higher level of equanimity than I did as a 30 year old. I'm better at accepting without agreeing with points of view that diverge from my own on almost any subject. I more regularly and rigorously remind myself that my beliefs - even my strongly held ones - are not facts, and that each of my corresponding points of view is simply that. I think I've attained some wisdom (as distinguished from enlightenment) from having my backside kicked and as a result, make generally better choices than I did at 30 or 40.
Three developments have surprised me as I've aged, however. First, my patience regarding some things has actually diminished, which contradicts what I was led to believe by my parents - that I'd become much more patient as I got older. As a result, I now avoid two types of people like the plague: The first are those who uniformly put their own interests ahead of those of other people, including their own families and closest friends. The key word here is "uniformly." The second are people who I refer to as "naysayers, doomsdayers, and dreamslayers." Those people view every glass as half empty and every personal aspiration as out-of-reach or self-indulgent.
The second development is my sense of urgency to accomplish things as my vitality naturally diminishes with age, albeit only a bit. Next year I'm climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. There's nothing magic about this particular goal except as a metaphor and for propulsion. I'm also publishing a book entitled "Redefining Type A" (the subtitle is still being debated). I feel as if I have a long way to go and a short - or shorter - time to get there.
Coincidental to what I do for a living is the third development: my frustration with people who have stopped growing and are OK with that. These are people who seem to believe that the first 25% of life is for growing and the last 75% is for resting. They are who they are going to be. They're satisfied, entitled, bored or resentful. Their skills are outdated and/or their perspectives have congealed and solidified. They pine for the way things used to be and whine about how things are. Many regard themselves as victims and all others as villains. I'm fortunate, however. The people who gravitate to working with me are not those people. My clients are executives and business owners committed to fulfilling productive visions of their lives.
The great business philosopher/consultant/speaker Jim Rohn once said, in describing what he did for a living, that he "worked on issues that matter with people who care." I'd love to steal that and have it printed on the back of my business card. It describes me and my business to a tee.
Here are my wishes for you: Create the life you dream about. No excuses, no blame, no guilt. Do more; give more; spend some; save some. Become the person you have always wanted to be. Establish goals and take relevant action toward their achievement. Measure your progress; make course corrections along the way. Learn from your mistakes, of which there will be many if you're actually doing things. Read the great books. Visit museums. Develop new skills. Make new friends and appreciate the ones you already have.
Most of all, whatever your aspirations, never quit!
My friend and trainer to elite athletes (Drew Brees and LaDanien Tomlinson, among others), Todd Durkin, admonishes and encourages others with the phrase "and then some." You want to be a great leader? Be a great leader, AND THEN SOME! A great dad? Be a great dad, AND THEN SOME! Along the same line, here's my question for you: If it isn't worth doing well, is it worth doing at all?
Don't wait; the time for action is now!!
A couple of years ago, I invoked the name of John Goddard to make a point about personal growth. His name, his life and his accomplishments are worth mentioning again here, for context.
Goddard is one of the world's great adventurers. Articles about him have been written in many renowned publications. At the age of 15, he created a list of the things he wanted to do, see or experience during his lifetime. Among his accomplishments, he visited the Great Wall of China; he attended the Rose Parade; he retraced the route of Marco Polo; he climbed the Matterhorn in a blizzard that was so bad, even the professional climbers wouldn't do it.
Here's Goddard's wish list. Items with an asterisk are those he completed by the age of 74.
The List EXPLORE:
1. * Nile River
2. * Amazon River
3. * Congo River
4. * Colorado River
5. Yangtze River, China
6. Niger River
7. Orinoco River, Venezuela
8. * Rio Coco, Nicaragua
STUDY PRIMITIVE CULTURES IN:
9. * The Congo
10. * New Guinea
11. * Brazil
12. * Borneo
13. * The Sudan (nearly buried alive in a sandstorm)
14. * Australia
15. * Kenya
16. * The Philippines
17. * Tanganyika (Now Tanzania)
18. * Ethiopia
19. * Nigeria
20. * Alaska
CLIMB:
21. Mt. Everest
22. Mt. Aconcagua, Argentina
23. Mt. McKinley
24. * Mt. Hauscaran, Peru
25. * Mt. Kilimanjaro
26. * Mt. Ararat, Turkey
27. * Mt. Kenya
28. Mt. Cook, New Zealand
29. * Mt. Popocatepetl, Mexico
30. * The Matterhorn
31. * Mt. Rainier
32. * Mt. Fuji
33. * Mt. Vesuvius
34. * Mt. Bromo, Java
35. * Grand Tetons
36. * Mt. Baldy, California
37.Carry out careers in medicine and exploration (studied premed, treats illnesses among primitive tribes)
38. Visit every country in the world (30 to go)
39. * Study Navaho and Hopi Indians
40. * Learn to fly a plane
41. * Ride horse in Rose Parade
PHOTOGRAPH:
42. * Iguacu Falls, Brazil
43. * Victoria Falls, Rhodesia (chased by a warthog in the process)
44. * Sutherland Falls, New Zealand
45. * Yosemite Falls
46. * Niagara Falls
47. * Retrace travels of Marco Polo and Alexander the Great
EXPLORE UNDERWATER:
48. * Coral reefs of Florida
49. * Great Barrier Reef, Australia (photographed a 300-pound clam)
50. * Red Sea
51. * Fiji Islands
52. * The Bahamas
53. * Explore Okefenokee Swamp and the Everglades
VISIT:
54. North and South Poles
55. * Great Wall of China
56. * Panama and Suez Canals
57. * Easter Island
58. * The Galapagos Islands
59. * Vatican City (saw the Pope)
60. * The Taj Mahal
61. * The Eiffel Tower
62. * The Blue Grotto
63. * The Tower of London
64. * The Leaning Tower of Pisa
65. * The Sacred Well of Chichen-Itza, Mexico
66. * Climb Ayers Rock in Australia
67. Follow River Jordan from Sea of Galilee to Dead Sea
SWIM IN:
68. * Lake Victoria
69. * Lake Superior
70. * Lake Tanganyika
71. * Lake Titicaca, S. America
72. * Lake Nicaragua
ACCOMPLISH:
73. * Become an Eagle Scout
74. * Dive in a submarine
75. * Land on and take of from an aircraft carrier
76. * Fly in a blimp, balloon and glider
77. * Ride an elephant, camel, ostrich and bronco
78. * Skin dive to 40 feet and hold breath two and a half minutes underwater.
79. * Catch a ten-pound lobster and a ten-inch abalone
80. * Play flute and violin
81. * Type 50 words a minute
82. * Make a parachute jump
83. * Learn water and snow skiing
84. * Go on a church mission
85. * Follow the John Muir trail
86. * Study native medicines and bring back useful ones
87. * Bag camera trophies of elephant, lion, rhino, cheetah, cape buffalo and whale
88. * Learn to fence
89. * Learn jujitsu
90. * Teach a college course
91. * Watch a cremation ceremony in Bali
92. * Explore depths of the sea
93. Appear in a Tarzan movie (He now considers this an irrelevant boyhood dream.)
94. Own a horse, chimpanzee, cheetah, ocelot, and coyote (yet to own a chimp or cheetah)
95. Become a ham radio operator
96. * Build own telescope
97. * Write a book (about his Nile trip)
98. * Publish an article in National Geographic Magazine
99. * High jump five feet
100. * Broad jump 15 feet
101. * Run mile in five minutes
102. * Weigh 175 pounds stripped (still does)
103. * Perform 200 sit-ups and 20 pull-ups
104. * Learn French, Spanish and Arabic
105. Study dragon lizards on Komodo Island (boat broke down within 20 miles of island)
106. * Visit birthplace of Grandfather Sorenson in Denmark
107. * Visit birthplace of Grandfather Goddard in England
108 * Ship aboard a freighter as a seaman
109. Read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica (read extensive parts in each volume)
110. * Read the Bible from cover to cover
111.* Read the works of Shakespeare, Plato, Aristotle, Dickens, Thoreau, Rousseau, Conrad, Hemingway, Twain, Burroughs, Talmage, Tolstoi, Longfellow, Keats, Poe, Bacon, Whittier, and Emerson (not every work of each)
112.* Become familiar with the compositions of Bach, Beethoven, Debussy, Ibert, Mendelssohn, Lalo, Liszt, Rimski-Korsakov, Respighi, Rachmaninoff, Paganini, Stravinsky, Toch, Tschaikosvsky, Verdi
113.* Become proficient in the use of a plane, motorcycle, tractor, surfboard, rifle, pistol, canoe, microscope, football, basketball, bow and arrow, lariat and boomerang
114. * Compose music
115. * Play Clair de Lune on the piano
116. * Watch fire-walking ceremony (in Bali and Surinam)
117. * Milk a poisonous snake (bitten by diamondback during photo session)
118. * Light a match with.22 rifle
119. * Visit a movie studio
120. * Climb Cheops' pyramid
121. * Become a member of the Explorer's Club and the Adventure's Club
122. * Learn to play polo
123. * Travel through the Grand Canyon on foot and by boat
124. * Circumnavigate the globe (four times)
125. Visit the moon ("Someday, if God wills")
126. * Marry and have children (has five children)
127. * Live to see the 21st century
What are you waiting for?
Copyright 2009 Rand Golletz. All rights reserved.
Rand Golletz is the managing partner of Rand Golletz Performance Systems, a leadership development, executive coaching and consulting firm that works with senior corporate leaders and business owners on a wide range of issues, including interpersonal effectiveness, brand-building, sales management, strategy creation and implementation. For more information and to sign up for Rand's free newsletter, The Real Deal, visit http://www.randgolletz.com.