Lonely, Depressed, or Without Friends—Explaining Why You Are Never Alone

The Situation
Many people can be lonely, depressed and feel they are without friends. Rape victims and sexual abuse survivors are very prone to such feelings. In addition, they may subconsciously feel shame and guilt. This is not a fault issue...it is a matter of learned behaviors due to other people's reactions to a person's horrific events.

Others reactions can cause you to feel less than you are. You feel inferior. In addition, an 'ingrained' perception of God, in which each of us is separate from Him, can add to this opinion. By not feeling you are equal to someone else, you have the propensity to seek acceptance from others in order to feel better about yourself. Over time a vicious cycle occurs, where you go further and further down. In the end, you can get into a rut of thinking that you are all alone.

However, you can never gain acceptance from another as long as you feel you are separate from another. Only when you feel you are equal can you no longer seek approval and acceptance.

The Actuality or the Reality?
Although you may feel you alone, the actuality may be very different from your reality. I myself used to think that I was alone, despite the fact that others told me, "You have more friends than anyone I know." My Christian background taught me that the spirit of God was everywhere. Yet, there also was a paradox, as I also understood that in order to have the spirit come into my life, then I must be 'saved.' If God is everywhere, then that means the spirit is also within each of us. Therefore, it is not necessary to be saved, as that is, by definition, an action from a source outside of you.

In addition, we are all part of a larger whole (the whole of God) because if the spirit is everywhere, then that means it is the same spirit not only within you, but also inside another person. Using a quote from a spiritual advisor named Charles Crooks that I have been working with for the last several years can help explain this concept. "We are all part of the whole, and not separate." Once you understand this image and concept completely, you can realize you have access to everything, including others. Therefore, everything, including the spirit of God is not only outside of you, but also inside you.

Furthermore, if each of us is part of the whole, then we are equal parts of that whole. Therefore, you are neither inferior nor superior to another person. There is no need to seek acceptance when you are equal to another.

Making a Realization
It was not until I realized my connection to the whole, including the spirit of God and others that I understood I could NEVER be alone. Might you likewise consider that even though you may feel that you do not have many friends that, in truth, that is not the actuality? If you choose to make this realization, your loneliness and depression may dissipate. Perhaps you can decide to see that those individuals already in your life are just icing on the scrumptious cake, cut in equal portions, that is already within you. Why not enjoy it? Furthermore, if you want more, it is there for the taking. Have another piece.

Copyright Statement:
This article was written by Cindy L. Herb and may be reproduced on any related website provided the text is not changed in any form and this copyright statement is displayed unedited in its entirety at the foot of the article and you use the exact same HTML code to ensure a clickable link back to the author's site. Further articles are also available. Contact the author for more information. Copyright 2010 Cindy L. Herb, http://www.cherbchronicles.com. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.