The 8 steps to be unhappy, miserable, and depressed!
So… people ask me all the time what they can do to be unhappy, more miserable, or depressed. There are so many people in this world that need the answers to these important questions. I decided that I would dedicate my time and vast knowledge of this topic so that you too can create, extremely fast, deep unhappiness in your life. It is important that you read over these principals as they can, will, and do have a huge affect on the outcome of your life. In fact these 8 principals probably have a bigger outcome on your life than ANYTHING ELSE EVER WILL. This is life changing! Are you ready to find out how to always be upset? Well read on below and lets get unhappy together!
These are the top 8 steps to make you unhappy. As you read this identify with ones that you want to do more of so that you can really accelerate your decline into sorrow and grief.
1. Be extra judgmental
Judging other people is such a fast track to unhappiness. When you really want to be upset then just go find someone to judge. Even better is to judge them, and then tell everyone about how awful they are. When we judge other people it pulls us down to where they are in their lives. It also gives you this awesome negative feeling in your gut. Your first step toward the ultimate sadness is to start judging, and judge as harshly as possible so you can decline like a rocket crashing right into the ground.
2. Complain about every thing! (literally everything, even little things that really don’t matter)
I love to complain. If I ever feel happy I know I have not been complaining enough. When we complain it gets our blood boiling. We focus strongly on the negative things around us. It helps if you complain about the people that you are being judgmental about. Then you can kill 2 happiness birds with one stone. Complaining is awesome Gripe and complain all day long for an extra unhappy week. Do this especially when you meet one of those annoying people that is always happy. If you do this you can bring them down with you, then you both can complain about everything together, its awesome!
3. Look for what’s wrong, and tell everyone why its wrong.
This is such a perfect goal to have when working on your negative attitude. What could be a better way then finding fault in everything. Think about those bad drivers, the rough roads, the economy, your family, the food for lunch, politics, rude people, and every thing else that you ever see, touch, or even hear about. YOU CAN FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH EVERYTHING! So do it. Why be happy when you can be finding fault in everything you see. It is especially helpful to try and have a worse day than all of your friends. Then at the end of the day you can say “that’s nothing, look what happened to me today…..,” or “If it makes you feel better my day was so much worse than yours because of …….”This game can be continued on for hours until someone finally wins at the worst day possible, and by then we are all totally depressed. Great game!
4) Hang out with other unhappy people, even if they are good friends or family
Yeah, other unhappy people are a great way to bring yourself town into depression. It is so good for you to spend time around people that have any of these 8 qualities. If they are always negative then you should copy every word they say. I recommend that you get 5 hours of personal time with someone that is unhappy. This can really drain that sick happiness right out of your body. The faster you can get rid of happiness the better off you will be, so make sure you really latch onto people that hate life!
5) Tell yourself how stupid you are when you mess up
This is a really good one. Talk to yourself and call yourself names. Let yourself know how stupid you are. Don’t forget to talk bad about yourself verbally as well as non verbally. Really voice the negative judgments that you make of yourself. If you need some suggestions you could say things like “I’m such a stupid idiot.” “I hate myself.” or even something like “I’m a lazy useless slob.” I usually tell women to make sure they tell themselves how fat and ugly they are so that they can really get unhappy quickly.
6) Be critical!
Oh boy, I sure do love this one. Some people say “Location, Location, Location,” but I say “Criticize, Criticize, Criticize.” You should criticize everything you see. Everything! And if anyone else is around at all, then you should really let t hem hear what you think. Not only about the world, but about that person as well. Why should they be spared if they are not perfect. Criticize them as well. They will hate you for it, and that will make you even more unhappy.
7) Always assume the worst will happen
Always believe that nothing will work out. You will get in a car wreck today. You will fail your test. You will get fired. Everyone will hate you. Everyone is watching you hoping you screw up. Everyone wants you to fail. Never forget to assume the worst possible outcome. You will probably die when you leave the house today, and if you don’t die you will probably go bankrupt or loose a family member! Assuming the worst and telling everyone about it will assist you in your unhappiness quest.
8 ) Eliminate forgive and forgiveness from your vocabulary
Hold grudges. Hate. Despise. Never forgive. Forgiveness is your enemy. If there is anything that will bring more happiness into your life its forgiveness. When you forgive someone you instantly feel free and happy. This is the last thing an unhappiness seeker is looking for. We want to hate them forever. So never forgive. Bottle that up, oh and tell everyone about what they did to screw you over. The more people you tell about what someone did to you, the more unhappy you can be. they will also tell you about the people that screw them over. Then you both can be miserable! This will really accelerate your decline into the pit of unhappy despair.
Please share your stories about how this post helped you to be really rottenly unhappy. Also if you have other ways to help people hate their life then post them as well.
Today is just like every other day, its time to create your pain. I hope you are super depressed right now and did not enjoy this blog. In Sadness and misery – Justin Criner
Hint!~~~~~~ For the few of you that are interested in being happy, the first step is to do the opposite of all of these.~~~~~~Hint
Justin Criner has been working with people who feel that they are struggling in life, their happiness, relationships, and criminal dependence for many years. He currently runs a business called Always Developing that is focused on consistent and daily growth, happiness and development. Are you interested in Always Developing?