People who have more luck than others aren’t afraid to ask others for help. While some might think that this is a sign of weakness, it really isn’t. It is a signal of success.
Asking people for help in terms of a referral to someone or opening the door for a possible meeting with someone is totally acceptable behavior. Asking others for constructive criticism is another form of requesting help. The same goes for asking for assistance in an area where you are not an expert.
People who are successful do this, not regularly, but at the appropriate times.
Think about this: You have been working towards something for a long time. You haven’t been able to make headway in whatever it is that you are trying to achieve and you find out that a certain person that you know knows someone in the organization that you want to be involved in.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking people to make a referral or to contact the person on your behalf. It may seem like a minor point, but there are people out there who are sometimes just a little bit to proud to ask for assistance when they need or deserve it.
Asking for feedback is another great resource. Many of us are afraid of what we might hear, so we don’t ask. For those who do, they will continue to improve. For those who don’t, they’ll continue on the same path they are already on.
With my coaching clients, one of my most critical intake questions is, “are you willing to change?” For people to improve, they need to do things differently. Those who are unwilling to change will stay the same. Feedback, then ACTION, is a great source for improvement.
Asking for assistance in an area where you are not an expert is another key to success. No one is perfect, and no one can know everything. Admitting that, and bringing in someone who can help you in an area that may not be a strength will bring you to your goal even faster.
Along these same lines: How many of you have shared your goals in your life, assuming that you know where you want to go, with others?
Think about this as a source of success: I am sure you have all been around someone who has said to you, “I have always wanted to go to the Kentucky Derby” or “I have always wanted to _________________ (fill in the blank).”
When people do this, other people, when they have the opportunity to share information about that possibility, will say, “Oh yea, Joe is the one who wanted to go to the Kentucky Derby! Call him, because if you have tickets that are going begging, I am sure he would love to go!”
Letting people know what your goals are is very important to helping you get where you want to go. It is another form of asking for help. Our human nature is to keep things inside of us and maybe to even keep it secret or maybe to only tell our spouse. Think about the importance of sharing your goals with others. It is just one more way that you allow them to help you get to where you want to go.
The truth is, most people enjoy helping others succeed. Most likely, the successful people you are dealing with had a bit of help on the way as well.
So, why don’t people ask for help? Many reasons. But not many good reasons.
The next time you see an opportunity to involve others in your success, don’t hesitate to do it. They won’t think less of you; they’ll think more of you. And, oh, by the way, they might even give you some help!
Marsha Egan, CPCU, PCC is CEO of The Egan Group, Inc., a Reading, PA based professional coaching firm. She is a certified executive coach and professional speaker, specializing in leadership development and can be reached at marsha@ marshaegan.com or visit http://www.marshaegan.com.