3 Most Fear-based and Void of Unconditional Love Questions About A New Lover

We believe the primary purpose of all love relationships is opportunity for spiritual growth, yet few seem to share our belief considering the three common questions about a new relationship partner that often lead to love life suffering.

It’s understandable why people today approach love relationships like a business arrangement. Most people are conditioned from birth to hold, in our view, very restrictive outlooks on love relationships. However, demanding a contractual business arrangement, such as with traditional American marriage, while simultaneously holding expectations of true love, is a recipe for failure.

Below are three common love life questions that are rooted in an outdated and unhealthy viewpoint of love. Avoid such an outlook and welcome a more rewarding life.

1. “Will it last?” Everyone has heard stories of the couples that have been blissfully married for over 50 years, and many people see the decades-long relationship as the ideal. However, the truth is, from a spiritual point of view, duration is irrelevant. What does matter is what you learn in the relationship, and you can learn some of the most important lessons in relationships of only a month or less.

2. “Is he/she the ‘one’?” Our findings clearly show that there is no “one.” You have many soul mates, and some are more compatible than others. While you may find one or more soul mates exceedingly compatible, you might find others in the future even more compatible and you won’t know who the love of your (this) life is until the last day of your life.

We frequently hear those in their 20s or younger asking if a person is “the one.” Many of them may as well phrase it like this: “I’m nowhere near the mature adult I’m striving to be, but I can’t stand being alone, want someone to hitch my wagon to, and need someone to make me happy.” We have compassion for these people because they’ve been misled by romantic fantasies and don’t yet have the experience to see through them. For those who insist upon hitching their wagon to someone, they’d be better off relaxing the rules, like allowing their partner freedom, so they don’t create the love life misery that’s so common in young relationships.

3. “Can he/she commit?” Interpretation of this is as follows: “Can he/she repress his/her natural urges to have more than one lover for the rest of his/her life, even if I lose interest in sex with him/her? Yes, it’s true that one or both of us might tire of having sex with each other, but I don’t care--I just want to fulfill my selfish demands.”

You likely want someone to commit to you because you are afraid of abandonment. Thus, you want to lock it in. Although this is a natural desire, it’s displaying a lack of unconditional love. It’s not spiritual in the least.

By the way, it’s common for one partner to be sexually frustrated due to the other not wanting sex very often. What makes it worse is that the one who doesn’t want sex refuses to allow her partner to seek other lovers. If you don’t care enough to make sure your partner is sexually satisfied, why would you care if he had sex with someone else?

The Best Approach

What is the best approach to love relationships? In our opinion, you must let the connection be what it is most naturally because each connection is fated to be different. If it’s just friends or a deep, romantic connection or a one-day love affair, let it be that. If it’s a 30-year roller-coaster ride of a relationship, so be it.

The key is accepting what you can’t change, and making the most of what you can, while expressing unconditional love, despite that such a way of living is going against tradition.

Do you want to endure less pain and suffering in your love life? If so, strive to express more unconditional love.

Copyright © Stephen Petullo, Scott Petullo