Are you familiar with the song Tea for Two? It’s a classic! Been around since 1924. “I want to be happy, but I won’t be happy, not unless you’re happy too”. There’s something to this. Most of us have been in this situation in our lives at some point-if not more than some. Giving back or making others happy is actually one of the things in psychological studies that has been proven to create happiness in ourselves. These are six of the things in those various studies (that if worked on) have revealed increased happiness.
1. Cultivate positivity – Winners have the ability to manufacture their own optimism. No matter what the situation, the successful individual is the one who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.
2. Be thankful and express it– When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value. Being grateful for what you feel you already have in life that is already evident will bring you a deeper sense of happiness-that’s without having to go out and buy anything. We’re going to have a hard time being happy if we aren’t thankful for what we already have.
3. Avoid comparing yourself to others – Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous. If we compare ourselves and think we’re “better” than the person we’re comparing ourselves to, it gives us an unhealthy sense of superiority. On the other side, if we feel “worse” than the person we’re comparing ourselves to, we usually discredit the hard work that we’ve done and dismiss all the progress we’ve made. If you want to compare, then compare yourself to an earlier version of YOU.
4. Learn to forgive. – Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being. When you “hate” someone, and you’re continuously thinking about it, those negative emotions eat away at your immune system. Move on!
5. Practice acts of kindness – Performing acts of kindness is supposed to release serotonin in your brain. (Serotonin is a substance that has TREMENDOUS health benefits, including making us feel more relaxed.) Selflessly helping someone is a tremendous way to feel good inside.
6. Nurture social relationships – The happiest people are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships. Many studies show that people’s mortality rates are DOUBLED when they’re lonely? We like having an active circle of good friends with whom we can share our experiences. To some that group may be larger than others, but we want to feel connected and a part of something more meaningful than our lonesome existence.
After reading these six things that bring happiness, you realize there’s definitely something to the Tea For Two Song...“I won’t be happy, not unless you’re happy too”…it’s about the nurturing of the relationship. Of course depending on how you chose to look at it, it could mean they depend too much on each other. I choose to look at it positively.
Heidi Gottlieb is an associate certified Transformational Career Coach, she was a marketing and television commercial production executive for over 20 years, she's a writer and a speaker. She’s passionate about helping others reclaim their empowered self and discover their dream careers. You can visit her at Life Coaching Matters where you can find her 7 FREE Empowering Tools to Find Your Dream Career and also read her blog. She lives in New York with her husband, her two kids, and her multiple furry friends enjoying long distance walks and various dark chocolate confections...although not all at the same time.