Okay, you’ve probably heard the statement many times before…
‘Tis better to give than to receive.
Or more blessed, or whatever.
Because of my experience working with so many people, I have a problem with this aphorism.
Now, don’t get me wrong… I have no problem with the idea that giving is good or blessed – I certainly agree with that, and encourage folks to be of service. Giving is great, no questions about it.
But saying that it is better than receiving slams the act of receiving. And that has caused no end of needless suffering.
Obviously, there have been plenty of people who have felt that receiving was better than giving… even to the extent that they seem to do that exclusively. But I would like to set up a distinction here – that kind of attitude moves from receiving to taking. These folks are not so much receivers as takers. And while it might appear that there are obvious benefits to those indulging in the act of taking, I would suggest that it is definitely a lower vibration activity than giving or receiving.
Maybe this statement was put out there as PR campaign to deal with a rising epidemic of taking…?
But receiving is a different matter. In fact, it is a necessary part of the whole giving and receiving equation.
Because if no one is willing to receive, no one will be able to give. If you want to enjoy the blessed experience of giving, that creates the need for someone to receive.
And if you are of the mind that it is better to give than receive, does that perhaps suggest a certain level of contempt for the recipient of your charity…?
Are you harboring the thought that because it is better to give than receive, then you the giver must be better than the receiver…?
Kind of trashes the whole spirit of the act of giving, doesn’t it?
If you feel blessed when you give, then the person receiving is giving you the opportunity to feel blessed. So they are, in turn, a giver. You likewise give someone a gift when you allow yourself to receive, such that they have the chance to give.
When you refuse to receive simply because you think it is wrong to receive, you are not being noble. You are being ungracious. You are actually being kinda selfish. Consider what part of you is trying to look good at your own expense as well as that of the person being rebuked.
It is like the person who goes about showing how humble they are in a way that makes them stand out, such that people are inclined to say, “Wow that person is so humble – what a great person they are!” Go figure. Egos are funny things. Tricky. Dangerous even. And we’ve all got ‘em – it’s just a matter of
trying to keep them in check so they don’t get in the way of real joy.
Obviously, there are many other reasons that people block themselves from receiving, but I won’t go into all of them here. The most rampant perhaps being a feeling of unworthiness. For someone stuck in this feeling that they don’t deserve to receive, or even any of the other reasons for not allowing, the idea that it is better to give than receive becomes a comfort – a bit of solace
that if they can’t receive, at least they are being a good person.
This is a pattern that often gets passed down through generations like a family heirloom, to the point that no one even considers the possibility that receiving is even an option. And it may have started with some ancestor simply trying to justify their limitations. This kind of passed-on misinformation is a human tragedy I’ve seen played out many times.
This Universe has unlimited abundance, and it is here for you. And it can show up through many channels. Are you allowing yourself to receive it?
Do you ask God to bless you with abundance, but then oh-so-nobly decline a generous gift from a friend..? “No, no – I couldn’t…” Consider the possibility that you are saying that to the Source that was delivering to you through your friend.
Maybe you believe you will be willing to receive when the abundance magically shows up with a hand-written note from God commanding you to accept it…?
When you offer a gift or service to someone and they decline it, how do you feel? Kind of incomplete – or maybe even rejected. Is that the kind of feeling you want to prompt in other people?
If you keep offering, and your offers keep being declined, don’t you start to feel less inclined to offer? Maybe you might want to start receiving before certain offers dry up.
Fortunately, I don’t think God ever stops offering – the abundance Is always there for us. But certain obvious channels might be less magnanimous and patient. And you might have developed such a habit of declining that you barely even notice the offers.
Now, I’m not saying you need to accept everything offered to you. Especially given that, as you open yourself up more to receiving, you will likely be inundated with more things than you have time or space to accept. And some of those things will be things you don’t want, and you don’t need to fill your time and space with what you don’t want.
I’m just encouraging you to check any level of scorn you have for receiving. Because you are missing out on so many cool things! Stop that!
Try giving the gift of receiving so that others may feel the joy of giving.
And on top of all that, if you don’t allow yourself to receive, you will have nothing to give.
Now, please do keep giving – be of as much service as you can – but know that it is also blessed to receive, for it completes the act of giving.
(Plus – you get cool things!)