‘Flirting with heart’ is an expression to describe the conscious way of meeting others, expressing attraction and begin dating! There are no rules to follow and no specific expectations to meet....except one: be in your heart and your light will shine. This light - self-confidence - is what men call SEXY!
Conscious flirting and dating, leading with your heart (balanced with your astute mind) is more fun than the traditional style of dating, and it yields much better results! Flirting with heart yields results...because as we learn to connect from our heart, we learn what it truly means to be intimate (not sexual) and it is from this space that deep and lasting connections are made.
The 4 Keys to Flirting With Heart:
1. FEEL YOUR VULNERABILITY AND DO IT ANYWAY:
You know what they say - F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real. I know you're scared to put yourself out there. Acknowledge your feelings of fear and anxiety. Write them down on paper, tell them to a friend, send them to me in an email. It's okay to be scared. Scared doesn't mean stop. Scared means be gentle and loving with yourself. Open your heart and send yourself compassion. Then move forward anyway. There's no reason to hide; we're all human and guess what? We all get scared.
2. BE PRESENT:
Practice some form of presence practice. Do yoga, meditate, sit and watch your thoughts for a while. Breathe and notice your in breath and your out breath. Have a conversation with a friend and truly listen. Most often people are thinking and listening at the same time! Practice really listening. We all like to be heard and most of us have a deep need to be understood. So when you approach that beautiful man out there on the dance floor, ask him an open-ended question and then listen. You might learn something extremely valuable in that moment and you won't want to miss it! When we are truly PRESENT in the moment, we are OPEN to meeting the love of our life because we are paying attention.
3. STAY OPEN:
Let go of the way you think your partner is going to show up. Let go of what you think he'll look like. Stay open. Try this: stand in a room full of people and look around. Say this to yourself (or aloud!), "Every single man in this room is a potential partner for me." Breathe that idea in. It's true. We can't predict the future so none of us really know what our life partners or soul mates are going to look like. Stay open to the possibilities, it'll keep your heart open.
4. AUTHENTICITY:
Being real means telling the truth. When you're scared, say so; when you want something, acknowledge it; when you know what your needs are, express them. There's nothing more attractive than a woman who knows her unique self and feels good about it. Let your guard down and get out of your own way. In relationship, true selves and personalities are eventually revealed and observed by our partner, so it’s more efficient to be genuine from day one. By expressing our true selves, we attract someone perfect for us!
Flirting with heart allows you to be yourself, appreciate your gifts and let others appreciate them as well. Helen Keller said something very profound, "Life is a daring adventure or nothing." Dare to be your best self and have the most deeply satisfying and blissful relationship. You deserve it, that's for sure!
Robyn Vogel, MA, LMHC is a psychotherapist, relationship coach and an expert at flirting! She loves love and has been helping women fall in love with themselves and others for the past 19 years! The butterflies in the stomach at first attraction, the intense joy of mutual expression and the depth of human emotion - all fuel her passion to assist others in creating the relationships they desire. In 2009, Robyn launched a new phase of her Boston-based psychotherapy and relationship coaching practice, Flirting With Heart. She is successful at helping others build confidence, become naturally flirtatious and attract the right person to them. More information can be found at www.RobynVogel.com.