Configuring Self Esteem
Low self esteem can express itself in many ways in our lives, almost all of which are negative and self defeating. But we don't have to be the victims of what are essentially simple thought patterns that have become established in our mind to the point where they are now automatic behaviors that we are unconscious of. The idea of personal creative power includes the knowledge that we have the ability to reconfigure ourselves from the ground up or just minor tweaks. But one of the first steps is to become aware of just what the nature of the problem is. So, here we examine the nuts and bolts of self esteem simply because knowledge can be powerful.
While it is helpful to know and understand the original source of low self esteem, that is not necessary to fixing it. We can't change the past but we can change the present. The critical information is in the ways it expresses itself in our lives today. We need to identify the behavior patterns so we can replace them with new behaviors. It is not easy and it will not happen over night, but you need to understand this; any ideas, or collection of thoughts, that we have decided to believe in, can be changed by deciding to believe in some other idea or collection of thoughts. Part of personal creative power translates into our ability to exercise discipline over our mind and the thoughts created by our mind.
Self Image
Self esteem and self image are built from our perceptions of ourselves, how we see ourselves, and these perceptions are in turn built from the ideas that we entertain concerning ourselves, and together they constitute our estimate of our self worth as a human being. Our best tool for adjusting these perceptions is going to be the very same process that created the situation in the first place, the process of conditioning.
Conditioning is a powerful tool because it is a powerful process and few of us are aware of it because of one of its most powerful characteristics which is that it works invisibly, it accomplishes its objective without anyone realizing what is happening, unless of course, we know about our creative power, in which case we are able to use this powerful tool to our advantage in a conscious manner. The other great characteristic of this tool is in its simplicity, repeated exposure over time and it's a done deal. Abra cadabra, poof!
So, how did we manage to create a self image that is negative and self defeating in the first place? The same way we are going to create a positive and self fulfilling image, by replacing the negatives with positives. We must monitor the thoughts our mind is creating and identify the negative thoughts such as when we talk to ourselve in our mind and criticize ourselves and put ourselves down. We must stop experiencing our mistakes as anything but what they actually are, opportunities for learning. Realize that happiness and success is your birthright and is natural to you unless you yourself get in the way. You need to stop apologizing for being alive and reclaim your birthright to happiness, success and all that life has to offer.
Healthy Self Esteem
Some of the characteristics high self esteem are:
The ability to learn from mistakes
Ability to see criticism for what it is
Not being too defensive when your views and beliefs are questioned
Being confident without arrogance
No obsessive need to prove themselves
No need to build self up by putting others down
Doesn't let setbacks or obstacles defeat them
Not embarrassed by failure or looking foolish in the eyes of others
Do not criticize themselves unnecessarily or by too harsh of standards
Do not take themselves too seriously
Able to love themselves and show themselves compassion
Unashamed of the fact that they are alive
You are the only person who can possibly destroy or build your own self esteem. It is completely irrational for any of us to consciously decide to see ourselves in negative ways that will impact your life and your family's lives in negative ways. Why would you choose to see yourself as worthless or unworthy just because someone else in your life decided to see you that way and you bought into it because you believed at that time, that the someone else knew what they were talking about. But now you have the ability to know better, and you have tools like creative visualization, conditioning, affirmations and self talk to help you recognize and replace the negative configurations with a positive ones. You no longer have to dance to the horse crap you allowed someone else to load you up with, you can dance to your own song, a song written with love, compassion and grace.
There is a great free e-book that explores personal creative power here.
Robert Darby is a self change and personal development specialist who writes for many organizations including The Agenda Of Life Foundation He focuses on developing personal power since that is usually the cause of all Human problems. Largely due to his fearless exploration of the true nature of our inner reality, R.E. Darby is emerging as an important writer of our time.