7 Tips For Parenting From Afar
Whether afar is across town or across the country these tips will help any parent who is not currently sleeping under the same roof as his or her children, due to divorce or some other reason.
1. Remember that your child is a digital native. On the other hand, depending on your age, you may be an immigrant to their digital world. Use your child’s advanced knowledge of technology to keep you connected. Set up web cams on your computer and your kids’ computers. Use video mail, Skype, and YouTube to connect. Use My-space, Facebook, and Twitter to stay in touch, as long as you can do so privately and safely.
2. Watch TV together. Let your child know that you will be watching her favorite show and will be ready to talk about it.
3. Keep up with schoolwork. Give your child (and child’s teachers) pre-addressed, stamped manila envelopes so that it’s easy for them to send you updates, schoolwork, and other paperwork. If you hear nothing be sure to initiate communications with teachers by telephone and email.
4. Make audio and video recordings for your kids and encourage them to make them for you. Nothing to say? Record yourself reading a book and mail the book and the recording to your child.
5. Remember small events. Send cards, pictures and letters for Halloween, Valentine’s Day, The 4th of July, etc. Remember large events, like birthdays and Christmas. Find rituals (beyond the standard Christmas, etc) that you and your children can look forward to and celebrate each year. If possible build these rituals around an event (for instance a sporting event or a trade show) that your Ex has no interest in.
6. Make sure that your kids have cell phones with your number programmed in. Use text messages and photos to stay in touch throughout the day.
7. If you have not done so already, call a truce with your Ex. Note: Your Ex does not have to take the same action. This is the place where you are going to set the good example. Let your Ex know that from now on you are going to focus on finding solutions that work for him/her, your children, and yourself. And, then make good on that promise, no matter what it takes.
Elinor Robin, PhD., LMFT, LMHC is a Mediator and Mediation Trainer whose expertise is professional and personal relationship conflict in marriage, divorce, the family, small business, and the workplace. She teaches, writes, and speaks as a skilled practitioner and recognized expert in Mediation and Conflict Management. With natural wit and wisdom, Elinor brings her clients and students the benefit of her academic achievements, small business background, and extensive court system experience.
To learn more about Elinor visit her website http://www.ElinorRobin.com. And, to learn more about her unique divorce mediation practice visit http://www.AFriendlyDivorce.com.