The Sources Of Self Esteem
Our self esteem is determined by our basic self image and that image of ourselves is created by many sources of influence. Although that image is usually a done deal in the early years of our lives, it is by no means set in stone. Once we mature beyond the adolescent stage of development we are supposed to have developed the skills and abilities to acquire and maintain a high level of self awareness which in turn will allow us to not only identify negative and limiting behaviors and their underlying beliefs, but also to proactively take the necessary steps to implement appropriate changes. We are after all, the most powerful life form to ever evolve that we currently know of.
The early developmental years in a human life are extremely important. At the very least, they can determine whether we will have an easy life or one of constant struggle. Since in those early years we are completely vulnerable to outside influences such as parents, peers, environment and any authority figure, and since current society is basically dysfunctional, then it is a complete carp shoot whether as to how our self image will turn out. It is here that the luck of the draw regarding what kind of parents we will have comes into critical importance. If we are fortunate and get intelligent, caring and aware adults as parents then we will be way ahead of things in the self image department and life will be much easier.
Parents that can stop thinking of themselves long enough to realize the importance of being supportive of their child's efforts towards independence, and parents who are aware of the fragile nature of their child's developing self image will acknowledge the child's successes and accomplishments and introduce them to the perception that mistakes and failures are only opportunities to learn and grow. A child with parents like this will grow up with a strong positive and healthy self image that will be reflected in how they will feel about themselves and their self worth, which is what we call self esteem.
The Importance And Impact Of Self Image
The difference between a strong healthy and positive self image and a weak negative and unhealthy one is the difference between a can do and will do mindset and a can't do and won't try mindset. And this of course is the difference between success and failure. Think about this. One person feels good about themselves and is hopeful, positive and optimistic and the other feels bad about themselves and is hopeless, negative and pessimistic. In the one case, the law of attraction goes to work spiraling one to unlimited success, and in the other case, that same law goes to work spiraling the other to endless failure. The importance of the formation of our basic self image is fundamentally life determining and critical.
The good news is that if we missed the first bus we can catch the next one. That is, assuming that we are also fortunate enough to develop into mature adulthood, and in today's world, that is a big assumption. Even so, I am a good example of hope for those of us who just didn't get it most of our lives. I was still clueless into my late fifties but was able to rescue myself and salvage the remainder of my life from nonstop misery, and that should be good news for most of you out there.
The Human Infrastructure Of Success
When we feel good about ourselves and we tend to engage in successful activities which in turn result in the development of self confidence and many other important success attributes such as a genuine desire, strong will, the ability to have a vision backed up by firm intention, commitment, courage, determination, perseverance and patience. These are the human characteristics of the success formula. These are what we invest in the activity of achievement and while everyone has them, they are strong in some and weak in others again, depending on how we feel about ourselves on a basic level.
The bottom line is basically that if we feel good about ourselves and have a strong sense of our worth and an equally strong perception of our identity, we are likely to develop a positive, optimistic and confident mindset that is the foundation of success, and if we don't feel good about ourselves, we are likely to have a weak sense of worth and an equally weak self identity. We are likely to be self conscious, withdrawn from social inclusion, constantly facing self doubt and consumed by negative thoughts of ourselves and others.
Making Positive Life Choices
In the case of low self esteem we can turn this situation around. We are no longer that gullible, vulnerable and sensitive child, we have the knowledge and experience and strength to explore our current basic programming, identify problem areas and start the rehab project and begin the journey of self improvement. We have the power to make positive choices regarding our own lives, we are the most powerful life form to ever appear on this world that we currently know of, do not fear that power, embrace it and take back your life.
There are many good tools out there designed to help us achieve these kinds of objectives such as meditation, yoga, self talk, creative visualization, affirmations and self hypnosis. I personally take advantage of them all at various times even today because they are also extremely helpful aids to the ongoing process of learning and growing which I have discovered is a wonderful lifetime activity.
NLP hypnosis is a good beginning strategy to help you build self confidence.
Robert Darby is a self change and personal development specialist who writes for many organizations including The Agenda Of Life Foundation He focuses on developing personal power and development since that is usually the cause of all Human problems. Largely due to his fearless exploration of the true nature of our inner reality, R.E. Darby is emerging as an important writer of our time.