We are all inspired at one time or another to embrace the vision and dream of world peace. We love what opportunities this brings and we dream of a world where we move beyond a fear and engage in the concept of difference not being judged, but rather celebrated. We become excited by the chances of pooling resources to solve basic human existence issues - that could all easily be funded by the redundancy of weapons and the banishment of immoral political power.
Celebrities world-over claim they embrace world peace, reaching out to motivate us toward attaining more peace and yet these same supposed role-model celebrities' backyard's look like devastation war-zones with lawsuits and cat-fights being watched by millions on screens globally. Parasitically the media glamorize this devastation as being a game of slander and slaughter which innately becomes addictive to our lower energy.
If we are to make major advancements toward world peace, let's start developing a healthy relationship in our domestic settings - especially with our Ex's - and most importantly when there are children involved. We feel the pangs of children suffering through mindless power struggles when observing world calamity, yet when it is our own environment we find volumes of excuses as to why it suddenly becomes justified: it is somehow excusable for us to be different from what we ultimately condemn elsewhere.
Marriage being for life is obviously not how things are in our society - and realistically it has not been that way for quite some time now. Parenting beyond marriage is becoming increasingly the central relationship to the lifetime commitment we make when deciding to have a child with someone. We embraced the grandest gift nature provides with this person - we decided to make babies with our Ex - as unbelievable as this is to us right now, our children think this is more unbelievable and would rather consider the possibility of virgin births all over again!
To highlight the Golden Rule in raising children who have been touched by divorce is to say: Our kids will hold us in the same light we hold our Ex. Wisdom is to avoid all hints, suggestions or attempts, to put the other parent in a negative light with the children - regardless of their ages.
Our children will work out the short-comings of their parent(s) for themselves as their life journey continues, and sometimes this is quite a painful process, learned by many generations gone before us. Since we know we will be judged by our children, through the judgement we cast on others, let's really get with what is needed to make our families flourish. As it happens, all too often, a perspective limited to the immediate trips us up, so while attempting to win short-term battles, it costs us the war overall.
Making our domestic relationships function well assists us all in changing the consciousness globally through living in greater harmony. Although these are baby steps, it is the accumulation of these steps that bring us closer towards peace throughout all nations. Agreed - it all seems quite out there right now, but one day our sons and daughters will be leading our countries, corporations and their own family units. These are the very sons and daughters who hopefully have been raised in a family that has learned to embrace different cultures and beliefs in the home environment first, transferring these skills from the days of learning while living in the face of disagreement. This learning will give them the strength needed to change the outdated prejudices and political policies worldwide. We can affect the world - it only takes two or three generations! This really is as close to you as creating a better world for your own children and grandchildren.
Complex Family Foundation is passionate in embracing change towards unity and the celebration of diversity. We believe in starting with ourselves, spreading to our home environment and then affecting those beyond. This is the only way to provide sustainable harmonious living moving forward. As an outworking of this passion, we are working towards all families being able to bask in the warm sunlight of harmony rather than battling things out under the grey clouding skies carrying the psyche of an out-dated model which perpetuates the 'broken' or 'split' family.
To be part of this ongoing development, Complex Family Foundation offers several ways of helping families and individuals. Don't wait for things to burst at the seams. It's okay that things are not smooth with the Ex, the chances are you'd still be together if it was all okay. This is about turning the focus into raising fantastic kids irrespective of family structure.
Warmest :)
Jill Darcey
Jill Darcey (Author, Parent, Founder & Speaker), a mother of three; thousands of hours in counseling and coaching; and more than a decade of split-family co-parenting. Jill has both experience and wisdom; she's learned a lot of what does and doesn't work - and some of it the hard way!
Whether you are at the beginning of this journey, or a little further down the track and have been parenting with an Ex for a while, grab a copy of 'Parenting with the Ex Factor'. It is over 400 pages and is a practical and real 'How To' guide for parents; it answers over 60 FAQs that builds a strong platform for you to form your Complex Family, instead of taking the normal split family or broken home route.