Talking to Your Kids About Sex

Talking to Your Kids About Sex

Take a look back at your teenage years, what it was like growing up? How were you around the topic of sex? Ask yourself some important questions like; did you have parents who were open and respectful, had healthy boundaries around the topic? Were you on the receiving end of normal love and affection? Or were you even on the receiving end of verbal love and affection? Was there any love or affection to speak of? Did you have respect for your partners, did you have sex because you wanted to or because you felt pressure to? These are important questions.

Studies have shown that kids who receive little to no love or affection tend to have more behaviour problems and be more promiscuous or even abusive. Kids do what they see……not what you tell them to. It’s our job as parents and caregivers to be open and honest with our kids about topics such as sex, drugs, financial knowledge, healthy relationships etc. …..of course the information we give should be age appropriate or at a level that can be understood. It can be hard to talk to our kids about some topics because we don’t feel comfortable with the topic ourselves. It is so important that we teach what is so called, normal and acceptable and what isn’t. Teach them that they must have respect and pride for themselves first. That they know about risks and rewards around having a healthy sex life and how to weigh the options.
Believe me, it’s better coming from you the people they trust to be there and care for them no matter what, than to have them rely on so called friends who play pranks on them. You also want to protect them from ending up being charged for sexual assault because they overstepped unknown boundaries.

I understand that it can be a difficult or embarrassing topic. However it’s part of being a parent. It’s a normal important aspect of life. I would ask however; that you are truly open and honest with yourself first. Ensure that your approach to sex is normal, healthy and appropriate. There are many ways in which parents/caregivers mess up their kids due to being uniformed or the parents having many unresolved issues, which they pass down to the kids. So if you are honest with yourself and realize that maybe you are not the best role model and teacher on this subject. Do yourself and your children a favour and find someone who is someone who the child knows and is comfortable with. There are also many good books on the subject written in all levels of understanding. It’s a good idea to purchase a book and leave it in your kids room. The worst thing you can do is bombard your kid with the topic. Talk about it during an activity, like cooking or exercising or even better when in the car, so they don’t have to make eye contact. Sex is not a comfortable topic for them either, so pick and choose the best time and place, but please ensure you have the talk/s, they are part of the relationship which a child deserves with their parents.