Dave Shields is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Relationship Advice". You can find complete information on Dave Shields and his products by visiting Kenosis Center.
How putting your most important partnership first, the one with yourself, can create the relationship of your dreams
If you’re like most people on this planet, whether you’re single, married, or partnered, there’s a good chance that there is something about your relationship that isn’t giving ... Views: 2925
One of the things we enjoy as women is to keep in close touch with the men we are dating. Given that the men usually think differently, we often find ourselves in a tricky position. While we would like to talk to our dates nearly all the time, they usually take things to the opposite end. ... Views: 2410
How often have you become irritated or angry, given yourself up, started to argue or debate, teach or explain, or withdrew when someone was treating you badly - ordering you around, judging you, blaming you, or dumping their complaints or negativity on you? How often have you behaved in any of ... Views: 3901
The least Applied Solution to Relationship Conflicts Worth Considering
By
Bill Cottringer
“The only way to mange the destructive affects of anger and hatred are to cultivate the positive antidotes of patience and tolerance.” ~The Dalai Lama.
In any intensely close personal or work ... Views: 761
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Let’s face it; the oft-quoted statistic that 50% of marriages in America end in divorce discourages a lot of couples who are contemplating marriage. Who could blame them? Who wants to get into relationships where there is the expectation of failure ... Views: 6495
We experience emotional pain as physical pain, as has been discovered by recent research. This means that when you are experiencing heartache, your heart actually does hurt – well, perhaps not your heart, but something in your body does hurt and badly. You knew this already, because when you ... Views: 10879
An older couple, Shirley and Rick, planned what they thought would be one of their last vacations. Finances and aging were making their trips more difficult. They wanted to travel to southern Utah and take in the beauty of the national forests. They had heard from a number of friends about the ... Views: 1114
Intimacy is the hallmark of a healthy marriage or relationship. But there may be powerful, unconscious forces at work that prevent you from developing a deep and meaningful connection with your partner. Many couples seek out marriage help, relationship advice and/or couples counseling because of ... Views: 1317
If your heart has been broken by infidelity or another kind of betrayal, you might be trying to cope with the double whammy of grief and shattered trust. These two often go hand in hand. It may even be that, since the breakup of your relationship or marriage, everywhere you look people seem to ... Views: 4255
Sharon and Bill fought a lot about money, children and household chores. The disagreements always began with Sharon’s request in what she thought was a friendly tone but Bill heard as a nagging tone. Bill’s response was generally a defensive one, complaining about her tone or the fact that she ... Views: 1394
What do men really want from a woman?
Well, it’s impossible for one man to speak for all men. But almost all of us want companionship, sex, and love, not necessarily in that order.
Of course, many men like cars, and sports, and gadgets, but that’s not what this article is about. I’m talking ... Views: 3172
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
We believe that Prenuptial Agreements are a bad idea, period! Just imagine, telling someone that you love him or her, but you don't trust them! To us, this is analogous to having two separate checking accounts in a marriage -- one for him and one ... Views: 3798
Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be . . . but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now—Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Jealousy is something that can completely destroy your relationships. Where does ... Views: 1355
As we get older, we start hearing the little pit patter of feet in our minds. We start having dreams of having a husband, two-door garage complete with two point five kids. You may say that you are ready for a relationship. You are not getting any younger and after all you are a good catch. ... Views: 1042
You glare at the Toad-on-The-Couch your man has become. You’ve been subtle – “suggested” and hinted and sighed loudly - only to progress to complaining, nagging, fuming and yelling when subtlety doesn’t shove him off the couch and into doing what needs doing. Not that your ... Views: 835
As the Radio Love Psychic on the nationally renowned KXRK Radio From Hell morning show, I use a few sneaky tricks to get the quick, accurate reads on the callers. The first is that there are some unchangeable, immutable Universal Laws regarding people’s connections with each other. The next is ... Views: 851
Building a healthy relationship takes time and effort on the part of both partners. Establishing trust is the foundation of every long-term relationship. Knowing that what you say to each other can be depended on and that you won’t be inclined to question the sincerity of our partner is trust. ... Views: 4161
A very common couple dynamic I find in my practice is that of Fuser / Isolator. Couples come in complaining that one of them is nagging and smothering (fuser) and the other runs away and dismisses (isolator). One partner feels abandoned and invisible, the other suffocated and small.
There are ... Views: 12101
Question:
Is the narcissist characterised by simultaneous instabilities in all the important aspects of his life?
Answer:
The narcissist is a person who derives his Ego (and Ego functions) from other people's reactions to an image he invents and projects, called the False Self (Narcissistic ... Views: 7167
We all heard about the infamous bride who took off in a bus (yes, a BUS!) four days before her lavish wedding day. She told the police that she had been allegedly kidnapped, but later turned up to admit that the story was a fabrication. She simply had a bad case of cold feet. But, it’s not just ... Views: 882
You've emerged from a divorce and you feel like you're ready to date again. Dating is a fun and exciting part of life and can help with the post-divorce healing process. Your new dating experiences don't have to be a nightmare even if you're a bit out of practice.
Think about the following ... Views: 1410
Have you ever had a close friend or relative that you love, but wouldn't mind having the chance or nerve to tell them things that they do that bother you? Do you ever feel like the friendship boundary has been crossed, but don't say anything because you don't want to hurt their feelings? Often ... Views: 3105
The Wolf You Feed the Most
(Excerpt from an upcoming book, The Wolf You Feed the Most, by Cindy Stone)
There is a most wonderful story originating with the First Nations that circulates in various forms in books (I referenced it in my first, The Incidental Guru; Lessons in Healing from a Dog), ... Views: 6405
You are walking along the corridor, engrossed in your own world. You don’t see the guy approaching from the other side. As he passes you, the strap of his backpack gets caught in your file. In an instant, it slips out of your hand and drops to the ground. Papers fly out and scatter all over the ... Views: 4181
An Excerpt from "Being Here, Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment."
Our assistant, Christina, came to work in the office one Saturday and we noticed that she seemed a bit subdued. She didn't look like her beautiful, lively self and so we sat down with her over a cup of coffee and asked if ... Views: 1604
I was out for dinner with a friend a while ago and she asked me several interesting questions:
• “Why are relationships one of the most difficult experience there is?”
• “Why do we have such deep, innate desire to seek romantic relationships or loving partners?”
• “Why is it that at some ... Views: 1057
MORDI HAS HAD ENOUGH!
Dinner was over. Now came the awkward time. Making small talk, being effusive with praise for the hosts, and having to be entertaining for the crowd. Mordi hated it. He also hated to watch his wife sing songs and play the piano with her friends. He stuffed his irritation, ... Views: 3041
Put your relationship to the test by answering this quiz/questionnaire.
1. Is the passion in your relationship:
1. improving
2. declining
3. staying the same
4. gone
2. Is she sexually satisfied when you make love:
1. every time
2. ... Views: 1325
No matter how positive our outlook, there are times when it just feels that the world is our enemy, or at the very least, not our friend. Between job-related pressures, financial challenges, family dynamics, and any number of internal "issues" we may be facing, sometimes, every one of us feels ... Views: 1008
Quote: "A Big Belly Laugh A Day Can Keep The Doctor Away"
Any relationship with another human being has its complexities and challenges, but the relationship with your intimate partner - your lover, spouse, spousal equivalent, significant other, or however you refer to this special person - is ... Views: 977
If you are looking for a relationship, it takes patience to find someone you can respect, whose heart is open to you, and whom you can be with without driving you up a wall. Good mate material is out there, but while you are looking, don’t waste your time and money on the Dirty Sevens. The ... Views: 1832
I had the pleasure of attending my first Mardi Gras festivities and parades in New Orleans, this year. It was as imagined, lots of people having fun and acting silly for beads and other throws from the masked men on the floats.
One thing I noticed was the lack of flashers for beads. I ... Views: 1097
Relationships are ruined by the buildup of negative emotion. Eventually, you just have to get away from the other person because you can't stand it anymore. Here's a simple way to get things off your chest and keep your relationships on an even keel.
I've always admired people who can be honest ... Views: 1941
Agree to agree! We have all heard the saying that if you want to have a happy, harmonious relationship, you sometimes have to agree to disagree. Standing your ground and demanding that you're right may feel all righteous and satisfying, but it's a sure-fire way to eliminate intimacy. Let's go a ... Views: 1374
"What we've got here, is a failure to communicate..."
- Captain, Road Prison 36, from the movie Cool Hand Luke
I know sometimes its difficult enough to figure out what you want to say, much less how your partner is going to hear it. And even if you have an idea of what you want to say, you may ... Views: 1763
In a recent survey conducted at MarsVenus.com, “neediness”—clingy, controlling, possessive, and/or demanding behavior—was one of the most commonly cited reasons for ending a relationship. Dating couples are calling it quits because they feel they either cannot or do not want to please their ... Views: 1571
Brian, a 40 year old widower had second thoughts about an impending marriage to Callie, a single woman of 38 who had never been married, but had many previous boyfriends. None of her relationships lasted longer than few months. Brian had been happily married to his first love for 7 years. His ... Views: 906
How many times in a day do you use the word “my” to describe a particular relationship you have with someone in your life? For example, you might say “my husband,” “my child,” “my friend,” or “my parents.” While the possessive pronoun “my” helps to explain certain relationships, it can actually ... Views: 822
I have received enough questions from people over the years asking about how to get past an affair that I wanted to write about it. There are so many intricate details of your personal relationship that factor into this decision that it is challenging to make generalizations but I will provide a ... Views: 874
In relationships, it is not uncommon for couples to have difficulties. Sometimes there are things your partner does that drives you crazy! In my work with couples, a common, innocent complaint of women is that their husbands don’t put their dirty clothes in the hamper. They will leave their ... Views: 853
Preparing for her younger sister’s visit put some pep into Shelly’s steps. She recalled Natalie’s last visit when they had fun at the beach, going to movies and eating out. The thought of having those precious moments again made Faith feel warm inside. She wanted to show Natalie the home she ... Views: 1413
Sometimes, when you've been with your partner for a long time, the shine kind of wears off of your relationship. In fact, I might go so far as to say "always" rather than "sometimes" - shine gets a lot of its sparkle from the newness of discovering one another. Once you know each other it can ... Views: 1725
February's message - in fact, the message for all of 2009 - is about finding your yumminess. Take the time to do the things that make you happy! What could you to do treat yourself better, to romance yourself, to woo yourself? (Isn't that a great word? Woo!) You deserve to be happy, to meet ... Views: 2659
For the past several years I’ve devoted myself to improvement, seeking out and soaking in any knowledge I could personally obtain on the subject and putting it to use in my everyday life.
Ever since my days in high school, where I first learned about Maslow and his hierarchy of needs, I’ve been ... Views: 439
Maybe you’ve been with each other for some time and feel your relationship is not the same anymore! You feel you’re on different wavelengths! You really want the relationship to last yet you’re not sure how to bridge the gap between you and your partner so you can create the intimacy, passion, ... Views: 6376
Do you find yourself thinking, “If he/she would be more supportive, then I could feel better about us,” or “If I don’t get a raise soon, then I am ruined…”? “If…then” thinking is a vicious circle that can block our own empowerment, but it can also be an opportunity.
Last Sunday I noticed this ... Views: 1581
Is it possible to be completely transparent in your relationship? In other words, how honest do you consistently need to be with your mate in order to enjoy strong and healthy trust? After all, aren't there times when telling the whole truth is simply unwise?
These questions relate to the ... Views: 16149
Ladies, you know in your heart if your man is cheating on you. You can feel it...
Maybe you've suspected for a while that things aren't quite right in your relationship and you're worried that maybe he's stepping out on you, but you just can't put your finger on exactly what's bugging ... Views: 2791
Divorce and separation can be quite a ride. Up and down. Up and down.
Will it ever stop?
Even before the decision to separate or divorce is made, life can feel like it’s spinning out of control. One day you’re up, the next day you’re down. It can feel like you are losing your mind.
Divorce ... Views: 4834
Jealousy, most of us feel it at some time or other. Some people experience it more strongly than others and some even let jealousy consume them. Sometimes the feeling is justified and at other times it isn't. It's an ugly emotion, both for the one feeling it and for the person at the other end. ... Views: 2582