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Relationship Advice Articles
Dave Shields is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Relationship Advice". You can find complete information on Dave Shields and his products by visiting Kenosis Center.
SelfGrowth.com Recommended Articles:
Marriage Therapy: 8 Signs You Should See a Marriage Counselor - Dave Turo-Shields- Ask Right and You May Receive - by How easily do you get what you want from others? And how easy is it for you to ask for what you want or need?
Perhaps you haven't worked up the courage to actually make the request you want to make. Or perhaps you've made several requests, but still find your needs unmet. If you're frustrated ...
Views: 577 - Changing Your PartnerRelationships are never perfect, and rarely do perfect partners come together. At some point in every relationship, partners want to change something about each other.
The following are three schools of thought on changing another's behavior and an alternative to each one. You will find the ...
Views: 389 - Clarifying Who You Are Seeking - by People usually get what they want in one of two ways. Some people have vivid clarity about their desired outcome and it seems to magically materialize. Surely you know someone like this, or perhaps you are even one of these people. To learn more about how to attract an ideal mate in this way, ...
Views: 633 - Getting Complete with Past Relationship Partners - by The people who are unavailable or ambivalent toward forming a relationship will only attract others experiencing the same ambivalence. If you are having trouble attracting a great partner and forming a wonderful relationship, you may be unavailable or experiencing ambivalence yourself.
This ...
Views: 654 - Break-Up Survival Guide - by Losing a loved one is never easy. Even when the loss is your choice, it isn't easy. Whether a person experiences a break up of a relationship, a death of a loved one, or another powerful loss, there are predictable stages one goes through, predictable feelings one feels.
Swiss-born ...
Views: 1424 - Finding a Partner - by If you are like most singles who want a relationship, you are probably "beating the bushes" in search of a partner. You may tell your friends you are looking for people to date, place or answer singles ads, search the Internet, and attend social events in hopes of meeting someone. Many singles ...
Views: 572 - Taking Action - by "Right" action defined:
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Taking the right action is what feels right according to your own heart and intuition-not anyone else's standards. To distinguish the right action from a "should," use the following rule of thumb: a should may feel dull, certainly unexciting. The ...
Views: 545 - Reader Q&A - by I receive numerous emails each month from readers asking me for insight into their relationship issues. While I am unable to answer every question, I do occasionally devote my newsletter to answering some of these questions.
Q. Dear Rinatta,
I recently met my girlfriend for a date at a club ...
Views: 529 - Conflict Resolution - by Conflict by nature is difficult. And yet conflict is a normal, natural aspect of any relationship. In fact, conflict handled well is healthy and can improve, even add to a relationship, leaving both of you feeling heard and understood. It is only when people handle conflict poorly that the ...
Views: 530 - Relationships and Growth - by Most people have a fantasy about relationships. It goes something like this:
One day they will meet their ideal partner. This person will understand them completely and will easily connect with them. There will be no arguments. Everything will be perfect. Magic will happen and will continue ...
Views: 604 - Need for Validation - by Def. Validation: To declare or make legally valid; to mark with an indication of official sanction; to establish the soundness of. Synonym is confirm.
~Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition `````````````````````
We all have a need for ...
Views: 17916(1 vote) - Rebound Effect - by I have observed a particular painful relationship dynamic. By addressing this dynamic, I hope to prevent it from happening in your current or future relationships. I call this dynamic "the rebound effect."
Let's observe this dynamic in action by looking at a love relationship in progress. ...
Views: 489 - Relationship Truths - by This week I pondered the many lessons and concepts my clients and I have learned during my coaching career. Before long, I had compiled a useful list of important and valuable relationship truths. If you apply any one of these truths, you are certain to see an immediate improvement in the ...
Views: 524 - Advanced Boundary-Setting - by Last week you found out what boundaries are and how to set them. To review, visit www.whatittakes.com/Archive/Newsletter10to19/newsletter__13.shtml
Are you holding back from letting others know where you draw the line, from setting your personal boundaries? The following points may be just the ...
Views: 750 - Setting Boundaries - by Are you getting all that you want out of your relationships? Or, are you instead getting less-than-great treatment from people in your life? If your life is filled with more of what you don't want and not enough of what you do want, it's time to set your boundaries.
What is a boundary and what ...
Views: 683 - Effect on Each Other - by Do you know what kind of an effect you have on other people? Are they better off knowing and interacting with you? Or do you leave people worse off and having to recover?
If you leave people better off than you found them, you know how good it feels to make this contribution to others. When ...
Views: 589 - Why We Don't Do What We Should - by When it comes to relationships, people often behave in ways vastly different from what they know they should do, what would be a good idea to do. Singles know they should like people who treat them well, yet they may not be attracted to such people. In relationships, people know to treat their ...
Views: 506 - The Right Tools for the Job - by Most people think once they meet the right partner they will automatically have a great relationship. They don't realize creating a great, long-term relationship requires the right tools for the job.
Let me give you an example. Peter has had many short-lived romances, or flings. He believes ...
Views: 418 - Pulling Yourself into a Great Relationship - by There are times in our lives when we feel our goals and desires pulling us forward. Other times we feel as though we are pushing to reach our goals.
To be pulled forward by a goal makes it more likely that you will achieve it. When you are pulled forward, serendipity happens, doors open, ...
Views: 552 - Getting Complete - by Getting and being complete is very important if you want a great relationship. If you are not complete -- with your past, your parents, your choices, etc. -- you will continue to have the same type of relationships, no matter how hard you try to make them different.
To be incomplete with your ...
Views: 491 - The Power of Unwavering Belief - by There are two ways you can work toward the goal of having your dream relationship. The first way is to want, hope for and try forcing it to happen. Unfortunately, that's not usually enough to bring you what you want. The other way is to deeply believe in your dream and to take action in line ...
Views: 1582 - Letting Go of Love, Part I - by Most people have relationships in their past that didn't work. Many people have one such relationship that is very hard to let go of. This is the one that got away, but shouldn't have. This is the one that felt as if it was meant to be. This is the one that felt like true love. This type of a ...
Views: 519 - Ask Right and You May Receive - by Whether in an intimate or another kind of a relationship, how easily do you get what you ask for? And, how easily do you ask for what you want or need?
Many people are frustrated in all sorts of relationships, seemingly unable to get what they need or want. Sometimes not getting what you want ...
Views: 755(1 vote) - Six Sure-Fire Steps to Become a Love Magnet(c) - by Want to become a love magnet? Want to attract true love or improve your relationship?
Good, because you deserve to be loved! And, lucky you, I will show you how to attract that love by working on the person you see when you look in the mirror.
That's right. Although you're seeking love from ...
Views: 428 - Discovering the Patterns in Your Relationships - by Relationship choices are often based on a pattern created in our childhood. This pattern are automatic and unconscious. We believe this is the way relationships ought to be.
There is no problem having a pattern that lends you in loving, satisfying, long-term relationships. However, more and ...
Views: 651 - What Men and Women Want, Part I - by There is a stark contrast between what each of the sexes thinks the opposite sex wants from them, and what the opposite sex really does want.
What women think men want from them causes women to have resentments and anger towards men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm ...
Views: 958 - Book Summary: How to Work with Just About Anyone - by “I just can’t seem to get along with this person!”
Every office has that one difficult person to work with, who affects productivity due to a terrible attitude, chronic tardiness, or simply drives everyone else up the wall. Here is the answer to common problems in conflict ...
Views: 486 - How to Get What You Need From Your Partner When Your Angry - by Communication is a key component to maintaining a healthy and nurturing relationship. One of the most common and damaging relationship pitfalls is the unheard problem that erodes a relationship over time.
Unfortunately, we are not taught how to get our feelings heard and our needs met without ...
Views: 688 - From Victim to Survivor - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2007 from Lynda BevanTo change from being a ‘victim to a survivor’ requires strength of mind, determination and focus. Changing a repeating pattern is a difficult task to tackle. It can be done but will only be done successfully with constant practice. Why do you want to change? Here are some examples to help ...
Views: 2071 - TWELVE STEPS TO CO-COMMITMENT - Part 2 - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2007 from Robert Najemy(The basic ideas of this section are inspired by the work of Gay and Katherine Hendricks) We can move towards a conscious love relationship by committing ourselves to consciously working towards that goal. We need to clearly understand what we kind of relationship we want to create and be ...
Views: 907 - JEALOUSY - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2007 from Robert NajemyBill is very jealous of Efi and does not want her to ever leave the house without him. He is afraid that some man might approach her, and he cannot stand the idea of another man even looking at her. Although she has given him no concrete reason to fear, for some reason, he does not trust her. ...
Views: 746 - TWELVE STEPS TO CO-COMMITMENT - Part 1 - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2007 from Robert Najemy(The basic ideas of this article are inspired by the work of Gay and Katherine Hendricks) We can move towards a conscious love relationship by committing ourselves to consciously working towards that goal. We need to clearly understand what we kind of relationship we want to create and be ...
Views: 884 - When He Does not Keep His Agreements - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2007 from Robert NajemySonny says "YES" to whatever request is made of him, but never follow through with the agreement. Afterward, he feels guilty, becomes defensive, and occasionally, aggressive. He, on the one hand, cannot say no, mainly because he fears rejection and conflict. On the other hand, he feels ...
Views: 865 - Relationships under Stress - by I've never yet met anyone who has had a stress-free life. Sickness, loss, financial problems, job problems are things that all of us will have to deal with. Yet in reviewing new cases week after week at a mental health center, I'm constantly struck by how often bad luck has played a major part ...
Views: 1190 - "Reconciliation" - a Difficult Word - by Submitted on Jun 23, 2007 from Steve GoodierAn office reports that they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell any difficult words. Early one Monday when the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages, she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then ...
Views: 1195 - Past Experience, New Relationship: Is it Baggage? - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2007 from Susan DunnWe are nothing, if not the sum total of our experiences, but when is it "baggage" and when is it not. Baggage is when you’re weighed-down by past experiences, stuck and unable to move forward from the weight. We think of it along with such terms as dumping it, getting rid of it, carrying ...
Views: 3066 - Getting to Know You - by Your new boyfriend? Hey -you know this man almost better than you know yourself. You know his favorite color, his shoe size, what time he gets up in the morning, how he likes his coffee, his mother's maiden name, when he last voted and what he ate last Thanksgiving. You know which side he likes ...
Views: 392 - Disagreeing to Agree - by Falling in love is so wonderful. Everything she says is
sublime, every word he utters is magical. You agree on everything, you and your new romance - never have you felt so understood, valued, appreciated. Then, of course that awful day comes when - NO - It couldn't be - you
disagree! It ...
Views: 439 - Understanding ours and others' Needs - by We need to understand and communicate our needs. At the same time, it is important to be able to hear, and if possible, respond to the other¢s needs. The following exercise in examining needs will help.
SOME NEEDS WE MIGHT HAVE
FROM THE OTHER
Mark your needs and add others you would ...
Views: 510 - Why do We Fear Love? - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2007 from Robert NajemyWhy do we fear close relationships? Although we want to love and be loved, we also fear both. Our past experiences have programmed us to associate loving and being loved with unpleasant experiences and especially with feelings of vulnerability. For these and other reasons, we have developed ...
Views: 4054 - BASIC RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2007 from Robert NajemyWHAT HAPPENED? We were so suited for each other, so in love, so happy together. We had so many dreams. Our first moments together were full of joy, happiness and the excitement of being close to someone who loved us and understood us. We were so sure that we would live "happily ever after." We ...
Views: 1024 - Relationship Conflicts - Part 4 - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2007 from Robert NajemyCONTROL vs. FLOW Each person, in his attempt to find security, affirmation, happiness and harmony in his life, searches for ways in which he can most effectively create the world he desires. Some people have become programmed to believe they can do this only by controlling the situations and ...
Views: 801 - Change Your Marriage From Being Roomates to Lovers - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2007 from Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D.Change Your Marriage From Being Roomates to Lovers A marriage that is filled with love, romance, communication and passion is possible when you learn to demonstrate and verbalize your love on a daily basis. Many couples lose sight of what they did in the beginning of the relationship which made ...
Views: 7809 - Single in a Couple's World - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2007 from Thelma MarianoAdvertising for St. Valentine’s Day seemed more relentless than ever this year. Everywhere I turned, I saw candy hearts or jewelry glistening in store displays. Radio announcers drummed the message home through constant promotions of dinner for two. There was no one “special” ...
Views: 603 - How To Kill Your Long Distance Relationship - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2007 from Jeremiah LewisHow To Kill Your Long Distance Relationship Disclaimer: I am in a long distance relationship. While I have been guilty of some of the behavior listed, I am one of the ones who has tried to correct that behavior when I realize it's happening. Just so you know. This isn't like a subtle ...
Views: 4364 - Can You Design Your Perfect Soul Mate? Yes! Here's How To Do It Right - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2007 from Dr. Kathy Joyce AbbottCan You Design Your Perfect Soul Mate? Yes! Here's How To Do It Right Brandy Sharpe, a Hollywood makeup artist, had experienced a very bad year romantically, she said. Everything had gone wrong. Her “good lover” had been only that, and the rest of him was a disaster. But then, ...
Views: 1541 - Honored Relationships - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2007 from Dr. Terri Hawkins-FoxHonored Relationships -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We all want a relationship where we feel fully loved, deeply understood, deeply valued, and where we walk the journey in complete harmony with another. Many times we are looking to the other ...
Views: 513 - The Secret of Perfect Relationships - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2007 from Chika ShiojimaThe less we learn to long for -- or depend upon -- Special understanding from others, The less we will suffer for not receiving this. The less we suffer over what others Seem incapable of giving to us, The less unhappy will we find ourselves In these unanswered moments of our ...
Views: 608 - Aren’t Gardens And Relationships The Same? - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2007 from Dan OhlerYahoo, it’s spring! As the grass began to grow, I knew it was time to connect with nature and get our garden ready for another productive year. It was fun to work in the garden that sunny day. There was that distinctive rich, sweet smell. It was a very pleasurable experience to work the ...
Views: 481 - The Possessor - Dominator - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2007 from Jay KrunszyinskyHe brings you candy and flowers and wants to spend all of his time with you. You find him flattering when he becomes upset when you go out with friends and family without him. He wants constant reassuring that your devotion is to him and nobody else. He begins to monitor your phone calls, ...
Views: 3492