Three Exercises To Help You Decide If Hoping Your
Relationship Can Change Is RealHope Or Toxic Hope
These exercises come from the RealHope For Real Couples Course manual.
#1. Take a look at the last six months of this relationship. Fantasize that the next ... Views: 22
Why is it so hard to talk to one another? Unless you're a recluse, it's something we all do every day. Perhaps because I'm a motivational speaker, author, and radio host I can talk ad infinitum. I actually find it enjoyable and relatively easy. Yet there is a significant difference between ... Views: 26
As I entered the room I could feel the tension of the forty-eight individuals seated at the oblong conference tables. I was about to present a workshop to these teachers on managing stress. Conditions for educators across the nation have become increasingly more demanding as states mandate more ... Views: 40
We've all found ourselves in situations where we feel as though we're caught between a rock and a hard place. Faced with making a necessary decision, our choices are less than favorable and all options have potentially serious consequences. Your best friend confides that she's having an affair ... Views: 49
Loosening the grip of negative emotions through play is one of my favorite ways to shift out of misery into happiness. It’s not only fun but it’s healing as well. I’m quoted about this topic in a new book called Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds by Dr. Kelly Turner, which ... Views: 50
I see clients ever week who ask me to teach them how to control their tempers. "I'm not the person to help you with that. Controlling anger can be hazardous to your health and to the safety of those around you." Most often, they stare at me in disbelief. "Controlling anger takes an enormous ... Views: 68
When I counsel people with depression and anxiety, they often say that they don't understand why they feel depressed or anxious. People who have a good job, a good loving family, and enough money get confused over their feelings. Consequentially they don't get any sympathy from their friends or ... Views: 90
I hate sarcasm. It's rude, hurtful, and offensive. Yet I have met many people who insist that it is humorous. "Sarcasm can be funny, " my friend John told me. "I beg to differ", I replied. "There is nothing funny about saying something hurtful to another person." "Yes, but...", he continued, ... Views: 92
You hear it all the time. Someone gets angry and dissatisfied with someone else and the person whom they are upset with is the victim. Here is an important question. Why would someone who is happy and content want to abuse another? It just does not make sense. Let's take some less serious ... Views: 82
People throughout much of the United States will remember the winter of 2013-2014. You have recent memories of shoveling snow, driving through ice, snow, and slush, staying home with the kids when they had a day off, and worrying about the safety of people you know. Those of you who do not live ... Views: 81
Everybody gets angry, even me. Professionally, I've been helping people understand and reduce their anger for twenty years. And in all honesty, I do practice what I preach. I experience far less anger and frustration than I did when I was younger, perhaps some of which is due to age. People ... Views: 64
There's no doubt: anger takes its toll on every facet of our lives. From on the job, to our personal relationships, to our health and overall enjoyment of life, destructive anger can wreak havoc in our daily lives.
On the job it cost businesses over $4.2 billion, yes -billion, a year. ... Views: 93
Perhaps you’ll agree that when something is bothering you, it prevents you from being at peace. In truth, the more we try to figure out “what-to-do” or “what-not-to-do” actually keeps the situation from changing. Take a moment and look at this consideration more carefully. Whatever we are ... Views: 116
Few people I know like to the process of resolving disagreements. In fact, when they hear "conflict" they automatically equate it with fighting. Yet one is not comparable to the other. Conflict is simply two forces in opposition. Fighting is defined with such words as "violent, battle, combat, ... Views: 115
I've been blessed in my life. I've had eighteen dogs, all of whom were sweet and loving. I've never had an aggressive dog with the exception of one - Huggy Bear. Huggy was a black Great Dane that came to us when he was just a pup. Big floppy ears, giant paws, and a single white spot on his chest ... Views: 132
I don’t want or need to change my behavior. This is probably the most common reason for not changing how anger is expressed. No change is likely until the abuser ‘puts down the binoculars and picks up a mirror.’ Often shame is at the core of men and women who are ... Views: 220
Anger Management skills can be helpful for people ranging from the mildly miffed to the violently vengeful. You do not need to be in a physically violent relationship to benefit from understanding and learning about communicating angry and hurt feelings constructively. Secondly, if you are ... Views: 177
Anger Management skills can be helpful for people ranging from the mildly miffed to the violently vengeful. You do not need to be in a physically violent relationship to benefit from understanding and learning about communicating anger and hurt feelings constructively. Secondly, if you are ... Views: 185
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am a 49 year old disabed vet, chest injury in pain 24/7. I am on MAJOR pain pills. Have not had sex with wife since one day I pulled her pants down and found a river of a substance that looked like human ejaculate but smelt like beer. Six months later she said it was ... Views: 169
If you haven’t yet recognized this fact, nothing good comes from being jealous. Jealousy is a deep-rooted emotion in the realm of pride. Jealousy damages relationships. Reasons for being jealous include: thinking we can’t have something… believing we aren’t good enough… lacking confidence ... Views: 228
I've spoken many times about the importance of all feelings, anger included. With every emotion we experience, we have the ability to learn much about ourselves. No feeling is inherently wrong. It's how we choose to express and use them that determines their value.
In The Secret Side of ... Views: 182
Do you feel like a slave to your personality? Do you feel like there is an invisible negative force that has possessed you and has taken over the helm of your life? Do you feel frustrated, annoyed, even angry that you feel so helpless to do anything about this unconscious entity? Do you wish ... Views: 150
I have to admit i'm not a big fan of the continuous christmas carols, crowded shopping centers or the pressures to prepare holiday meals for people. Call me the grinch, but the holiday season for many can be a time of relentless stress and anxiety rather then a festive experience. But a few ... Views: 171
One of my clients complained that her boyfriend had an annoying habit of constantly chewing gum. It drove her crazy! "Aside from that, he's perfect." she exclaimed. "But how do I get him to stop? He knows it bugs me yet he continues to do it. He says he's not doing anything wrong and then ... Views: 194
I enjoy a good robust debate. I find it can be very stimulating and present an opportunity for me to learn something new. In every facet of life, we encounter individuals with whom we have disagreements. Recently, a woman in her forties came into my office seeking suggestions as to how she could ... Views: 206
We all encounter angry people in every walk of life. Some will confront them, others avoid them like the plague. There are times when either approach is acceptable. I do not like drama. However, I am concerned about others when they appear upset. And I am very knowledgeable as to how to help ... Views: 287
It is not uncommon for someone to be told that they should just forgive and forget and simply move on from someone who has wronged them. This can seem to be the most logical thing that one can do; to put it behind them and carry on with their life.
One could be told that they are bigger than ... Views: 271
Any serious scientist will be familiar with the assertion that stress causes immune-compromise. A recent study by researchers at Harvard School of Public Health has finally put this long-held knowledge into perspective, deciphering that those who bottle up their feelings have a cardiovascular ... Views: 61
"The sharpest sword is a word spoken in wrath." (The Buddha).
A little boy, prone to anger, was told by his father, "Every time you're angry, drive a nail in that wooden fence. When you've learned to control your anger, start removing them." Six months later, the boy had removed every nail ... Views: 266
by Dr. Tali Shenfield, Clinical Psychologist
Every parent wants to protect their children, teach them to protect themselves, and help them redirect their own outbursts before they become dangerous and aggressive. We want to know that when our children become angry, we can discipline them ... Views: 291
I need to say straight off the bat stress is a killer and I don't intend to be a victim anytime soon! I am a sixty years old, hard working single mum of five adult children, eight grandchildren plus a great granddaughter. I still have two sons at home all of which means I do know and understand ... Views: 238
Road rage is one of the leading causes of accidents and deaths in this country. According to a report by CNN, an estimated 28,000 people each year are killed due to aggressive drivers. It's easy to see how cities such as Miami, NY, Boston, LA, and Washington DC (the cities with the most ... Views: 199
Domestic abuse is one of the most serious epidemics modern society faces today. With 1/3 of all women reporting incidences of violence in the home and/or in intimate relationships (this does not reflect the numbers that go unreported nor those of men being abused), no socio-economic group, ... Views: 204
Difficult people - ya gotta love em! Or not. Whether you do or don't, it's a fact of life that they are all around us - in our families, places of employment, communities, social events, and everywhere else. For whatever reasons, we all have personal issues that cause us to behave in ways others ... Views: 275
I have always had to go deeply into my own rage in order to bring it into the light to heal. If I don't allow myself to feel the rage, I cannot heal either myself or others. Not allowing myself to feel it is like clamping a lid on a boiling pot of water. Eventually, it boils over in uncontrolled ... Views: 74
While it's important to understand, express, manage, diffuse, and heal your anger, imagine how
much easier it would be to prevent outside forces from irritating you from the get go? You can learn to be emotionally unaffected by the drama and chaos around you. Rest assured, I'm not suggesting ... Views: 235
We are all creatures of relationship. And as such, we pick up different kinds of feelings as we interact with others. Some are bad feelings while others are good. But what happens when we develop a bad feeling concerning someone or something? How do we handle the left-behind uneasiness and the ... Views: 218
Divorce is difficult for everyone. Even though children are resilient in many areas of life, divorce takes its toll on the youngest family members as well. While superficially they may appear to be fine, their internal struggles and turmoil are often hidden beneath an exterior of normalcy. ... Views: 325
Years ago, there was a major campaign in schools teaching children to tolerate the difference of others. It was an attempt to create a more comfortable and conducive environment for children of all cultures and ethnic backgrounds to coexist peacefully. I suppose some good came of it but still ... Views: 276
I frequently receive emails from people upset about something in their life that is not going according to their plans. They scrutinize the behaviors of others and complain because people are not doing what they are supposed to be doing according to their standards. Some of the most frequent ... Views: 370
Chronic and clinical anger related issues cause many hindrances in everyday life. The sad fact is people of all ages, gender and social backgrounds can get affected by such problems. A consequence of irrational and uncontrollable rage is never good. It can show up in families in the form of ... Views: 159
There are numerous challenges in the world today and some of these challenges are to do with emotions; from depression, to suicide and a whole myriad of other things. And emotions cannot simply be ignored or dismissed.
They deserve and need as much attention as ones diet or physical health. ... Views: 377
It’s been one of “those days.” anger Too much to do, and not enough time to do it. Your boss yells at you for something that wasn’t even your fault; by the time you make it home, you’re fed up and stressed out. You slam the door, and then walk past your partner without saying a word. Your ... Views: 204
Teenagers are prone to developing anger related issues very easily mainly because of the hormonal changes that take place quite inevitably in their bodies. The changes lay a direct impact on their mental make, causing them to react impulsively to situations created in their immediate ... Views: 196
Are you suffering from anger related problems? We have all faced moments when we couldn’t keep our anger in check. Some events and certain people often get on our nerves. In such situations, we feel the urge to lash out at the person who is causing us irritation. Anger may be caused by a number ... Views: 196
People have been so obsessed with age that they have set limitations as to what one can do at a certain age but age is just a number and for as long as you take care of yourself there are no limitations. Have you seen people who look years younger than their real age? And people who look so much ... Views: 277
“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” Will Rogers
Try these 10 solutions whenever anger starts to cause problems in your relationships or your life.
1. Practice mindfulness.
Become a witness to your anger emotions without judgment. Anger need not be harmful. You may ... Views: 726
Many of the young teenagers today tend to lack the basic skills of coping up with anger issues. Their uncontrolled anger can cause trouble not only for them but also for others who are around them. Angry teenagers’ face numerous kinds of problems with add to their frustration, irritability and ... Views: 232
What is forgiveness?
Can I really forgive all those people who cut me off, bullied me, cheated on me, talked behind my back, physically assaulted me, judged met, or made me feel significantly less than?
Don't I owe it to the universe to balance the scales of justice? Shouldn't I take the ... Views: 387
What do you do when you are SO angry you want to rip someone’s head off? You actually think you COULD drown your kids or bash someone with your shopping trolley and you are not sure how to control it. In those moments, if another hippy tells you “you need to relax” or recommends that you try ... Views: 417