Anger as a tool is inefficient, exhausting and unsustainable.
Anger is the belly down, anguishing and wailing toddler in the grocery aisle. Let’s face it, angry people are not fun. We don’t want to work for them, be around them or have them in our lives. Most of us will go out of our way to ... Views: 35
I'm blessed to have parents who, early-on in life, instilled in me the importance of forgiveness. "They didn't mean what they said." "Your friend is probably just having a bad day." My mom was, and still is, one who always saw the best in people and chose compassion over anger. So it has always ... Views: 21
I find it amusing that very often when I'm scheduled to do a radio show or present a lecture I'm speaking on a subject matter that reflects a lesson I need reminded of. Today's show is no exception. I'm one who is slow to anger and quick to forgive. However, occasionally I find myself trapped in ... Views: 47
Handling Anger When Your Difficult Child Cannot
I believe that if you’re reading this, you care about helping your difficult child. That is one of the biggest steps in the right direction. I’ve seen too many adults that just want their difficult child “fixed”. The reality is that the ... Views: 61
I enjoy reading advice columns. Yesterday, a disgruntled woman complained that Hallmark created the upcoming holiday of Valentine's Day to remind singles that they are losers. (I'm pretty sure Hallmark wasn't in existence during the Middle Ages when this day was first set aside to celebrate ... Views: 34
Recent events have me thinking about political anarchyriots, bombings, civil wars, threats, and other bad and dangerous behavior around the world. Politically, anarchy means obeying no laws. It’s frightening to watch a mob take over. Anarchy is the result of two things: repression ... Views: 60
Conversations can be risky at times. The more sensitive the topic, the more delicately we need to approach it while maintaining a truthful and honest demeanor . The subtle balance between being blunt and abrasive or being effectual is one that many are not equipped to navigate.
In my more ... Views: 62
We've all taken our anger out on the wrong party, not to say that there is ever a right party who is deserving of our ire. It's not uncommon to be upset with one person and misdirect it at someone or something else. Your boss has been crabby all day and continually comments on every aspect of ... Views: 81
I learned to be critical of myself at a very early age. I never did anything right; everyone else was better than me; and even worse, I was never good enough, period. It didn't help that during my impressionable formative years, society taught that the more you denigrated a child the harder ... Views: 100
Most of us work for a living. On or off the job we are bound to encounter a wide range of, shall I say, challenging personalities? Bullies, intimidators, hypocrites, backstabbers, underminers, instigators, complainers, gossips, withholders, and know-it-alls just to name a few. Their presence can ... Views: 69
While I have reposted a couple of articles on the subject, I wasn’t going to write about Bill Cosby or the subject of serial rape; there are enough articles and editorials on this subject. What has now made me decide to join the fray is a recent statement by a friend of his that “this isn’t ... Views: 60
Jesus got angry. He was troubled by the many injustices he encountered while on Earth. At times, he expressed his dismay to those around Him. Anger, as with all emotions, has a place and purpose. But how does one know if there is too much anger in their lives? Here are ten warning signs to ... Views: 102
Here it is: the beginning of another new year. All around the globe people are making New Year's resolutions to lose weight, be happier, spend more quality time with their families and so on. I find it rather odd that in a world filled with anger and violence no one makes a declaration to "not ... Views: 102
If I posed the question, "Who in your life has hurt you?", you might respond with, "Must I limit it to only one?" We've all been on the receiving end of someone's thoughtless behavior - their anger, sarcasm, back stabbing or betrayals. We've been hurt by those we know and love and even some that ... Views: 93
It is probably fair to say that the issue of sex and sexual relationships does not feature very heavily in the pecking order of emotional issues and emotional drives that tend to fuel an individual's alcoholism or addiction.
It is however a hugely important issue that often plays a crucial ... Views: 159
Your rating: None
Demonizing - by Kasia Jarosinska (www.spiritualshifts.com)
Demonizing is a coping mechanism that we employ to painlessly process our fears. It is the act of projecting onto a person, situation or environment-separation. Any time we speak negatively of another person, situation or environment, we are claiming that this seemingly separate experience is ... Views: 106
Your rating: None
Letting Go - by Kasia Jarosinska (www.spiritualshifts.com)
I’d like to discuss a popular concept in modern spirituality: “Letting Go”. This is the idea that we must release something that no longer serves us. In theory, “Letting Go” beholds within itself the necessary components for relief, moving on and healing. The reality is, that letting go is a ... Views: 146
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
Negativistic (Passive-Aggressive) Personality Disorder is not yet recognized by the DSM Committee. It makes its appearances in Appendix B of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, titled "Criteria Sets and Axes Provided for ... Views: 138
For the most part, I don't associate with people who difficult to get along with. Being a sole entrepreneur, I am not subjected to dealing with obnoxious coworkers, irate customers or demanding bosses (although I am tough to work for but fortunately I get along very well with myself). Socially, ... Views: 95
Yes, it’s true…I’ve joined the ranks of Facebook rejects. Amazingly, I still don’t know why this happened. There could be any number of reasons from too many friends, too many messages, too many invitations or being perceived as a spammer. Regardless of the reason, the fact remains; I have to ... Views: 116
We all get angry. It's a normal part of our human experience. Anger is neither wrong nor bad. As with all emotions, it serves a valuable purpose and in this case alerts us to the fact that something is amiss and needs our attention to correct. It is how we choose to express and apply it that ... Views: 84
Families: they can be our greatest source of joy or a never ending cause of stress. Some might like to have a few parts replaced, others may prefer to trade theirs in for a more suitable model. Some are grateful to have a family regardless while others would prefer to travel through life solo. ... Views: 83
We’ve all heard about road rage. But, have you heard about the latest area for people to dump their anger? Desk rage. Well, maybe it’s not really the latest. I wrote a book about violence in the workplace in 1994, “Ticking Bombs: Defusing Violence in the Workplace”. Same disease, now a new ... Views: 128
We've all had our share of problems in life, some more than others but problems none-the-less. If you're anything like me, you eventually grow weary dealing with and finding solutions to unpleasant situations. Rather than win the lottery, some might opt to have all of their problems vanish, ... Views: 74
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
Patriotism is akin to the healthy form of self-love: it consists mainly of pride in one’s self-identity and values based on one’s culture and shared history. Patriotism is not exclusionary, but inclusive. The patriot, in ... Views: 160
ABC approach is a methodology adopted to study the behavior patterns of a person. ABC relates to Antecedents, Behavior and Consequences. The three words may look very simple, but the complexities involved in this study are exceptionally high. Understanding the ABC's of behavior enables one to ... Views: 210
Ducks, dishtowels, and doorbells: one wouldn't think they're connected to anger in any way. Cake, on the other hand, is a no-brainer: when upset, eat some. Plain and simple. No one can be angry when stuffing their mouths with a confectionery delight topped with butter cream icing and sugar ... Views: 144
My mother has always been an advocate of forgiveness. When I was a child she taught me early on to let go of being angry with people. If a friend hurt me she suggested that perhaps they didn't realize what they had done. If it was a family member, well, families don't hold grudges. And as ... Views: 154
In the late sixties, I married my high school sweetheart. He was a quiet person by nature so when we began having difficulties in our marriage and his response was one of silence I thought it was just his personality. Little did I realize it was a manipulative technique that would eventually ... Views: 140
When I was fourteen, my godparents gave birth to a baby boy after twenty years of marriage. The most joyful day of their lives was shattered by the devastating news that their son had Down's Syndrome. Fifty years ago Downs was a death sentence and Robert was no exception. Three weeks later they ... Views: 146
They're like mosquitoes on a hot summer night - those irritating and annoying people. They can be found anywhere from our families or coworkers to drivers on the roadways to complete strangers we encounter while on vacation. Their quirky behaviors and annoying habits can ruin our day. Other ... Views: 159
At one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ... Views: 147
Everyone - we all need anger. The most simple basic definition of anger is that it's an indication that we have unmet needs that have to be addressed, a sign that something is lacking in our lives that we want to satisfy. As with all emotions, anger is normal, useful, healthy, and necessary. ... Views: 159
Today I was reminded of my own anger while driving.I don't get angry that easily or that often. Luckily I know what tools work for me when I start noticing anger wanting to show it's ugly face. Like I've told many clients, it's called Anger Management, not Anger Cure. This is an important ... Views: 169
I'm reasonably confident in saying that there's not a person on this planet who has not felt unfairly judged at some point. While we may feel justified in imposing verdicts on one another, when we are on the receiving end the feeling can be quite hurtful. It is not uncommon to react with anger, ... Views: 185
There is a over abundance of books, articles, and blogs written on the subject of gratitude but did you know that being grateful is actually an antidote to anger?
Gratitude is a conscious state of appreciation, the ability to feel good in the midst of difficulties and disappointments, and ... Views: 199
The trouble with passive-aggression is that both the giver and the receiver often have no idea what’s really going on. In other words, the person who’s passive-aggressive (P-A) may know he hates conflict, may know he’s feeling a little angry and may know he’s covering it up. But he doesn’t ... Views: 191
At best, their behavior is dishonest. At worst, it’s abusive. But you may not have even noticed it. That’s because a passive-aggressive person can be so subtle you may not realize their supposed joke was really a hostile remark. Or their procrastination at getting something you need done is ... Views: 171
Several years ago, I had a client whose nine-year old son had anger issues. His doctor diagnosed him with ADD and suggested medication to quell his angry outbursts. "What do you think?" the mother inquired of me. Not an advocate of prescription medications (with the exception of the most extreme ... Views: 218
Conflict: one of the most feared words in the English language and sadly one of the most misunderstood as well. My mission: to bring deeper awareness to this benign term, to remove all preconceived negativity associated with disagreements, and to reinstate it's position of value in our ... Views: 213
When I was a child, my mom always utilized natural methods for healing. Fevers were treated with cold compresses to the forehead, sucking on frozen juice pops, and cool baths. Burns were treated with ice, colds with chicken soup. Rarely was medication given to restore health.
Even when we ... Views: 223
I've been presenting seminars on healing anger for twenty years and it never ceases to amaze me how much misinformation is circulating about one of life's most powerful emotion. I've decided it is time to debunk some of the most common myths. So without further ado, let me begin with...
Myth ... Views: 248
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” – Mark Twain
What was the last thing that made you angry? The bad driver cutting you off? Your kids not picking up their toys? You were passed over for a promotion?
How long ... Views: 222
They all complained about the daily gossip that ran rampant among them. Every one participated in it yet ironically no one could understand why they would be targeted. In the fifteen years I worked at the battered women's shelter, both staff and residents criticize those who engaged in rumors ... Views: 223