Think about the last time you had a conflict with someone and you argued - with your partner, your friend, your parent, your child, or someone else in your life.
What did you argue about, and why did you spend your energy arguing or fighting?
Reasons for Arguing and Fighting
Here are some of the reasons you might argue and fight in conflict situations:
The problem is that, while you might be able to get control over another's behavior, you cannot control their thought and feelings. No matter how right you are, another thoughts and feelings are not yours to control.
The Way Out of Arguing
Until you want 100% responsibility for all of your own feelings - your feelings of anger, frustration, guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, fear, hurt, loneliness, aloneness, helplessness over others and outcomes, and so on - you may continue to use arguing and fighting as ways to avoid this responsibility. Until you are ready to lovingly attend to your own feelings with a deep and compassionate desire to learn about your own thoughts, beliefs and behavior that create your feelings, you may be stuck trying to control others into making you feel better. And until you fully accept your lack of control over others thoughts and feelings, you might continue to attempt have control through arguing and fighting.
You will find that you stop arguing and fighting when you learn to take 100% responsibility for all your own feelings through the practice of Inner Bonding.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to discover real love and intimacy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!
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