Simple Things Matter In Love and Relationships

By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz
"the marriage doctors"

Authors of the INDIE Book Awards Gold Medal Winner for Best Relationship Book of 2008
Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage

Available at,,, and at Bookstores

Twenty-five years of research on successful love and marriage has taught us many things, but first and foremost – no love has blossomed or been sustained without doing the “simple things.” Big things don’t matter until your relationship has mastered the art of doing the simple things day in and day out in your relationship with another human being whom you purport to love.

All too often in life, people make assumptions about love and relationships that do not stand up under scrutiny – that are not supported by the available evidence. So, what are the facts?

One of the great misconceptions of all time about love and relationships is this – just do the “big” things and everything will turn out well. And what do the Big Things include? For starters the list includes “having financial stability in your relationship,” “being in love is all that matters,” “having a good job and a house in the suburbs,” and so it goes. But the truth is, these “Big Things” are important, but they are only a by-product of “doing the simple things.” Here’s what we mean.

It is an established fact – successful love is based on an accumulation of the “simple things.” If you want your marriage and your relationship to succeed, just do the simple things! Do them day in and day out. When your relationship has mastered the “simple things” you have a chance to make it work. You have a chance to make it last. But if you don’t, well, failure is an option.

There is another important fact of life when it comes to love and relationships – there will be big challenges to address in your relationships, of that you can be sure. You might have to deal with financial setbacks, serious illness, the loss of a job, or the death of a loved one. And trust us on this – if your relationship with the one you love has mastered the art of doing the simple things day in and day out, the likelihood of your relationship making it through the tough times are multiplied many times over.

So what are these simple things? Here are a few: always showing respect for the one you love; saying I love you many times a day; engaging in simple acts of kindness (breakfast in bed, flowers on non-special occasions; opening doors for them, etc.); giving your lover lots of daily hugs; treating them with courtesy at all times; helping clean up the dinner table; sharing financial decisions with them, and the list goes on. Read more about the multitude of simple things that matter in our new book, Simple Things Matter In Love and Marriage, due out in August.

The point is, simple things matter and when you practice doing them, they accumulate. Simple acts add up. And always remember, you can’t keep turning on then turning off doing the simple things. You have to consistently engage in doing the simple things day in and day out. When you do, you will be surprised at how well this simple notion works. Start engaging in them today.

Love well!

Author's Bio: 

Now you can order the Doctors' award winning book, Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage at or or from their website with FREE DVDs. With 26 years of research experience on successful marriage and their own 42-year marriage, Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz know what makes marriage work. From their hundreds of interviews with happily married couples, representing 15,000 years of marriage, they've discovered the seven pervasive characteristics present in all successful marriages. Their book exposes the secrets for success through these poignant, real life stories.

Get started with “the marriage doctors” by taking their Marriage Quiz or asking them a question at Ask The Marriage Doctors or downloading their FREE eBook at Salad Recipes For Love and Health.

During their distinguished careers the Doctors have received some 65 local, state, and national awards; published nearly 350 articles and manuscripts; delivered over 1000 speeches, workshops and public presentations; traveled throughout the world; and appeared on radio and television and in the print media. Dr. Charles D. Schmitz is Dean and Professor of Family and Counseling Therapy at the University of Missouri in St. Louis and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz is President of Successful Marriage Reflections, LLC.

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