***Are You a Deployed Grandma?

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Written by Debbie Nichols

When I wrote my book “Deployed Grandparents being Parents “, I thought it would be originally for my family. As I was writing the story my friends would ask me, “Why don’t you share it with others?”My friends and family inspired me to share my story, so once I completed the story I offered it to the public.

Having a single parent daughter, active duty in the United States Air Force is a little unusual, but there are many other families in the United States that have children in the military. My grandfather served in World War I. My husband’s father was in the Navy Reserves. He served in World War II and Korean War. But for us, having a daughter active duty for 14 years and deployed to Afghanistan in 2008 and my husband and I being the guardians to her children, that was different.

My husband and I were working empty nesters and this situation changed our lifestyles, overnight. When I searched for information that pertained to our situation, there was none. I found out that out of 2 million military deploying in 2008-2009, 250,000 children were going to live with a guardian. The PBS television station airing the Sesame Street show had an episode of how Elmo’s family member serving the military was deploying, and how its child was sad. Cuba Gooding Jr. was the guest host on that episode and explained when a member of the family is deployed, the entire family is deployed. And that is what happened to us, each and every one of us was deployed.

My mission is to help military families prepare, and understand what deployment is all about, and to help coach grandparents who are guardians to their grandchildren. Single parent families are on the rise, and the responsibilities end up on the grandparents. Being a grandparent is fun and exciting, and I love every minute of it. When you are the guardian of your grandchildren, you have a lot of mixed emotions and many more responsibilities. When you are a guardian, one thought I had was I did not sign up for this job. I took this job because I love my granddaughters and could not bear not to have them with me knowing their mother was away from them.

Due to the relationship I formed while my granddaughters lived with us, they felt so comfortable talking about anything with me. My granddaughters tell everyone, I am their second mom. I think that’s a real honor. What more could I ask for?

If you are a guardian to your grandchild, remember they won’t forget what you are doing for them, much more so than if they were your own children. Remember you are impacting them every minute you are with them. Being a deployed grandma and having to be a mother can be a great experience.