If you’re single and looking for love, use the following ten statements to honestly assess your relationship readiness then take the necessary action to allow love to flow into your life.
1. I know what I want
Do you have a clear vision for your life? Do you know exactly what an amazing relationship looks like for you? Take the time to understand your purpose in life, your goals for a happy and satisfying life and for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Get clear about what really matters to you. A clear vision will help propel you and continue to motivate you as your life develops.
2. I know my requirements
As a dating coach, I have many opportunities to ask singles what qualities they’re looking for in a life partner and what’s most important for them in a relationship. Most singles tell me quickly they’re very picky about the person they will ultimately choose to spend the rest of their life with. Yet when I press for specifics, they soon realize they haven’t actually spent much time getting clear about what’s most important for them in a relationship.
Non-negotiable requirements, your must-have’s for relationship success, are crucial to clarify and define. And, these are different from your wants and desires from your partner. If your requirements in a relationship go unmet, the relationship will suffer and so will you.
Create a written list of the five to ten requirements that are crucial for you for a healthy and successful relationship. Clearly define each requirement, in detail. Use this list to help screen potential partners as you date.
3. I am happy and successful being single
A life partner adds value to your life. And having someone to share life up’s and down’s with is very rewarding. Yet, there’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely.
Happy, successful singles enjoy their life, their family, their work and friends. Yes, they still may want a life partner, but not having someone special in their life doesn’t create desperation for them. Enjoy a rich and satisfying life while you’re searching for your mate and you’ll be more likely to attract a like-minded single as a partner.
4. I am ready and available for commitment
Take the necessary time and action to get closure with your past relationships; legally, financially and emotionally. Appreciate the good times you shared with them and learn from the not-so-good experiences. And be realistic about why you’re moving on. Too many people hold onto the “fantasy” of their past relationship rather than seeing the reality of it and this can make it hard to let go. Understand, if you’re still pining for an old love, you’re not completely available for new love to enter your life.
And make sure you’ve freed-up time for a new love. True, life can be busy at times. Just make sure you’re not spending extra hours at the office or on your hobby as a distraction or because you’re lonely.
5. I am satisfied with my work / career
Satisfying work is important for a fulfilling life. If you’re looking for employment, in transition or unhappy with your job, it’s hard to put your best foot forward while dating. Take the necessary time to create a career for yourself that excites you and supports your needs and lifestyle.
6. I am healthy in mind, body and spirit
It’s important to keep your body healthy. Regular health check-ups and focused self-care are vital for staying fit and active. Taking the time to expand your mind and nourish your spirit is essential to staying healthy too. Keeping healthy physically, emotionally and mentally will improve your ability for a happy and satisfying love relationship and life.
7. My financial and legal business is handled
Financial and legal issues can be a burden and may impair a person’s ability to enjoy life and attract the ideal relationship. Take the time and necessary steps to ensure your legal business is handled and your finances are in order.
8. My family relationships are handled
We all have many different kinds of family relationships; parents, siblings, children, extended family and ex-spouses to name a few. Keeping your family relationships healthy can be challenging yet it’s essential to treat our family members with respect. Practicing healthy boundaries and clear communication are key skills for maintaining these relationships.
9. I have effective dating skills
Dating is an essential step to finding your life partner. Be comfortable engaging and disengaging with other singles. Be open to initiating contact with potential partners and open and courageous in your conversations with them. Have healthy and clear boundaries surrounding physical intimacy with people you date. Practice safety and consideration for yourself and others as you navigate the uncertainties, challenges and enjoyment of dating.
10. I have effective relationship skills
Respect, integrity and empathy are key relationship skills. Clear and courageous communication is also essential for creating intimacy with your partner, building trust and getting your needs met. The ability to be vulnerable, maintain healthy boundaries and deal with conflict respectfully is essential for nourishing your relationship in a positive way. Learn to express love generously to your partner in ways that fulfill their needs rather than how you need to be loved. And be open to accepting love without emotional barriers.
An honest assessment of yourself using these ten statements is an effective way to realize your readiness for a new love relationship to enter into your life. Be gentle with yourself as you learn and grow and stay focused on what’s important for you. Enjoy life as you look forward to attracting the perfect partner for you.
Copyright ©2010 by Katherin Scott. All Rights Reserved for all media.
You may visit Katherin online at www.katherinscott.com
Katherin Scott MA is a dating coach, speaker and author of “ABC’s of Dating: Simple Strategies for Dating Success.” As an internationally recognized authority on dating and attracting love, Katherin coaches singles worldwide and regularly conducts seminars and workshops to help people empower themselves to find love and happiness.Relationship Coaching Institute’s Relationship Assessment is an insightful ten question quiz used to determine a person’s readiness for dating and ultimately for committing to a life partner relationship.
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