Life’s Ground Rules

Life’s Ground Rules
by
Bill Cottringer

Reality is the composite of the a priori laws of the universe which are left over from when we strip away all the perceptions, beliefs, interpretations, and assumptions that have been made. ~ The author.

There are a few a priori ground rules that were set before life emerged. Knowing and following these fundamental “laws” is a good idea, unless you prefer an unreasonably rough ride full of bleeding, bruises, and broken bones. And usually, the sooner the better. The following seven axioms frequently overlap and interact with each other with a compounding effect, which just strengthens them individually and collectively. A few important consequences of following or not taking advantage of each of the seven basic laws is offered under each one. Warning: sudden insights to two or more of these ground rules can easily lead to enlightenment, or at least the beginning of it. Denying these truths is always an option though.

1. Reality is infinite.

Besides the time illusion below, the notion of finiteness is the most difficult illusion to see through or otherwise try to set aside. That is because we are addicted to thinking everything has a starting and ending point or if you have a powerful enough microscope or telescope you can see the start and end of the universe. It is not that all things have always been here and will always be here, as much as the potential possibilities within these seven laws are as eternal as the now moment allowing for infinite possibilities. The perpetual nature of energy accounts for all the transmutation changes and preserves the infinity of the universe, within these seven boundaries. And without time being real, finiteness no longer exists as unnecessary. Here are three consequences of embracing or dismissing this particular truth:
• We can waste a lot of time and effort in trying to fix parts of reality which don’t really need fixing, and missing what is fixable—an incorrect or incomplete perception.
• Realizing possibilities aren’t finite is great for increasing motivation.
• Understanding situations are already in motion before you join them can help increase awareness of important influences that can shape outcomes.

2. There are no certainties.

If quantum physics has taught us anything, it is that there are no exact certainties, that is with the exception of these seven fundamental tenets. All there is, are possible probabilities within these hermetic laws. We are spending billions of dollars trying to arrange the illusions of certainty and security and remove the one of fear, but the question is, how is that working for us so far? The best we can do to avoid being a victim to chance, is to gradually become more mindful of the present moment to become acutely aware of all that is involved in any choice of action or reaction, and less attentive to our past memories or future expectations, which is unproductive mind-wandering which accounts for up to 75% of normal thinking. Or an easier way to say this is to lighten up and let go a little to experience events without pre-judging them with the second level of problem dualism described below. Three possible good and bad results of this ground rule:
• Trying to arrange certainties is time and effort taken away from increasing probability of things more under your control, like how you react to adversity or failure.
• Knowing that no certainties are certain except this one, can reduce frustrations of futile failures.
• You can use the time and trust effort wasted on fixing security issues for increasing safety measures that are controllable.

3. Duality is inherent.

Contrary to popular belief, we didn’t invent duality with our polarizing words or by means of our compare and contrast exercises in school, but just discovered this ground rule from patient observation. Of course, we exacerbated the existence of duality with a second level of dualistic judgement, such as good vs. bad, right. vs. wrong, valuable vs. worthless, and desirable vs. undesirable. This is what causes most of the problems in our three main conflicts described below, which all usurp the lion’s share of our daily airtime. The smartest perspective on dealing with the duality in our lives, is to see a pair of opposing opposites as just two different sides to the same coin. Furthermore, we can’t even begin to appreciate or understand one side of the equation without conscious experience with the other, for comparison. With adversarial polarities, like win-lose competition vs, win-win cooperation, compromise is often the best solution. Three more bad results from ignoring the duality axiom:
• When you rush to over-embrace one extreme of a pair of opposites, you cut your viewpoint and what you see in half, as well as other things such as enjoyment.
• You miss appreciating the value of the unpreferred opposite.
• Not seeing opposing beliefs or convictions for what they are inhibits conflict resolution, often making reasonable compromise virtually impossible with the resulting defensiveness that usually shuts down communication.

4. Compelling illusions prevail.

There are several compelling illusions that hide reality from us. These maya delusions include concepts such as time and space, control, finiteness, certainty, meaning of life, fears, security, free will, destiny, rest, and separation. It is reasonable to conclude that all these illusions are driven by our acquisition of self-consciousness which sets up the dualism of opposites and gives birth to the three main conflicts that occur in life—us vs. life, us vs. others, and us vs. ourselves. And it is ironic that in order to see through the illusions, one must consider the opposite perspective. Take time as a prime example. The time you have to use or misuse, depends upon viewing it as something that is already there in which things occur, or created as a coming result of the interaction of these things. Regarding free will, it only begins to become free when you begin to notice the extent of social conditioning and other external influences over-controlling you and limiting your choices. Not seeing through illusions can have these three negative results:
• With the illusion of time being the container in which things happen, time manages you and so you have less of it to use.
• You can sadly waste a lifetime living a meaning you wrongly think is the right one for you.
• Not seeing the connectedness of things cheats you from much useful wisdom and genuine security.

5. Actions have consequences.

We simply can’t outrun our karma, no matter how hard we try. Every action we take or reaction we make, has guaranteed potential consequences paired with the various choices of actions or reactions available at the moment. And we need to use mindfulness to increase awareness of the multitude of variables that come into play which may result in this or that outcome, which in turn will lead to more choice possibilities of actions or reactions. Earlier psychologist thought they invented the learning theory of behavior modification, but they poached that from this law. Life is set up as a complete behavior modification system, by the way the brain works. The main operational function of the human brain is to seek reward and avoid harm, and so right actions get right consequences and wrong actions get wrong consequences and everything else that comes with that. Three more good consequences of obedience to this truth:
• Knowing life is a giant behavior modification system helps you avoid accumulating bad karma, that you can’t outrun.
• Learning right behavior becomes more of a choice than chance.
• Helping others to react better to a hole they are in, becomes proactively helping them to not step into it in the first place.

6. The Tao rules.

Life is a continuous, rhythmic flow between all the Yin and Yang polar opposites. Days turn into nights which turn into days and nights all over again. Trying to grab or hold onto one of a preferred Yin or Yang opposites, such as happiness or pleasure over sadness or pain, is as futile as trying to damn a raging white water river with a few toothpicks. And just the opposite is true too. The harder you try to get rid of one Yin or Yang, the longer it persists, like unhappiness, depression or pain. Eventually we figure out it might be more productive to get in sync with the flow of life’s river and stop trying to change anything until we fit in and understand it better from the inside-out. And today the Tao is becoming a fierce flow of extreme volatility, uncomfortable uncertainty, constant change, and confusing ambiguity, which is quickly becoming a monumental challenge for even the most adaptive folks. Three bad consequences for not going with the flow of Tao:
• You could go over an unexpected 200-foot waterfall.
• You could crash into a large, hidden rock in the middle of the river.
• You might miss a critical moment of opportunity like grabbing onto a tree branch on the bank of the dangerous white water of the river.

7. Energy is perpetual.

We know that energy cannot be created or destroyed. This fundamental physics law is what drives all these other six ground rules of life and is the key to seeing though all the illusions that hide these valuable truths. This is the fuel of the Tao which keeps everything moving with an animated sense of being alive and experiencing life as a participant instead of a bystander. Survival of the fittest used to be determined by hierarchical competition, but there is great promise with a growing shift towards cooperation being the survival gene. Of course, the needed balance between the two drivers can be competing against yourself, while cooperating with others. This is a smart transmutation of perpetual energy. Three benefits of being in sync with this truth:
• The reality of eternity is very soul-soothing and comforting.
• Realizing this reality of perpetual energy and that there really is no rush to get things right, helps spur creativity, especially seeing more options and solutions in problem-solving.
• Understanding ways energy can be transmuted in form helps increase adaptability to a VUCA world of vicious volatility, uncomfortable uncertainty, constant change, and annoying ambiguity.

William Cottringer, Ph.D. is retired Executive Vice President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA, but still teaches criminal justice classes and practices business success coaching and sport psychology. He is also on the Board of Directors of the Because Organization, an intervention program in human trafficking, the King County Sheriff’s Community Advisory Board, and involved with volunteer work in the veteran’s and horse therapy program at NWNHC Family Fund. Bill is author of several business and self-development books, including, Re-Braining for 2000 (MJR Publishing); The Prosperity Zone (Authorlink Press); You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too (Executive Excellence); The Bow-Wow Secrets (Wisdom Tree); Do What Matters Most and “P” Point Management (Atlantic Book Publishers); Reality Repair (Global Vision Press), Reality Repair Rx (Publish America); Critical Thinking (Authorsden); Thoughts on Happiness, Pearls of Wisdom: A Dog’s Tale, and Christian Psychology (Covenant Books, Inc.). Coming soon: Reality Repair Rx + and Dog Logic. Bill can be reached for comments or questions at (206)-914-1863 or ckuretdoc@comcast.net.