Marriage is hard work. In order for marriage to really work, God MUST be at the center of the relationship. We are unable to know how to love our spouse unconditionally, unless we have God's love and know of His love. There will be ups and downs in marriage. After 22 years of marriage, I have seen both sides.
When the storms clouds enter into your marriage, keep God as your "spiritual umbrella". He will not allow your marriage to get "washed out".
Show appreciation for your spouse daily. Encourage each other every day. Is that easy always, I give you a resounding "No", but you must not allow your flesh to rise up to tell you not to do this and know that God wants us to speak good words to each other always.
Stay best friends. That is what helped me. My husband is my friend. Some make their children their friends and the spouse is like an outsider or a foe. The devil tried to tell me at times that my husband was not my friend. You have to look past the flesh of the individual and look at the root of the situation.
We don't fight against flesh and blood but against powers, and principalities and rulers etc. If we keep that in mind, we can fight off the devil that is ruining Christian marriages everywhere.
The Christian marriage is to be the example to all marriages and to the world. We represent the relationship of Christ and the church. If the enemy can enter into our marriages, we would set a poor example to the world of Christ's relationship with the church.
Learn to prioritize the important things in our lives. Some spouses put their work before their marriage, some Christian leaders have put the church or ministry before their marriage and this will put a strain on the marital relationship and can foster resentment to rest on the marriage. The order we must operate in is: God first, spouse, children or family, then work or ministry. Marriage can not fail in this order, this is God's order.
Forgiveness is another important ingredient to keep in your marriage ALWAYS!!!! There will be many times you will say "I sorry" and hear "I'm sorry". In your heart there should always be a cup of forgiveness to offer to you spouse in return. Giving forgiveness is not letting your spouse "off the hook" for what he or she did, but it frees you from bitterness that could later raise its ugly head later on in the marriage. Forgiveness also stop the enemy from having an entry point in your marriage and in your life personally.
I am passionate about marriage and the lives of people. I desire to see us reach new levels in life, to come out of frustration, which is a place a lot of people live, to "become" into the person you know you should be but do not know where to start to be it, and to growing into Christian maturity.
Marriage is a journey, with winding roads and some rocks and pebbles along the path, the kind that get in your shoes sometimes. But just like when that pebble get into your shoe, you take it off, shake it out and put it back on and go on to your designation.
In marriage we need to do the same, shake off the rough stuff, put on the good stuff and GROW on ! ! !
Living Life Through Him,
Glyniel Garner
Glyniel Garner is a Professional Certified Life Coach, Board Certified Biblical Counselor and Certified Marriage Mentor. She is the founder of New Horizon Coaching Associates in Ocala, Florida. Glyniel can be reached at OurChurch.com and New Horizon Coaching on MySpace.