This afternoon, when I went to pick up my daughter from school, I was mesmerized by a mom breastfeeding her baby. The image brought back the bliss I felt during the fifteen months I gave my precious one the tit. The moment fleeted at the sound and the hustle of excited children getting out of school.
However, a few hours have gone by since then, and I wonder why today, of all days, that image had such a huge impact on me. I need not ponder long. I take a couple of conscious breaths, and the delight of those fifteen months almost seven years ago is fresh and alive all over me again. I remember my sweet baby *receiving* me in full, unconditionally: on good days and on not-so-good days; when I was feeling pretty as well as when I was afraid to even see my reflection on a glass of water; when I smelled deliciously fresh out of the shower, as well as when my clothes were stained by puke. When I was feeding, nurturing, cuddling, adoring her, I was received by her as if I was the most magical, magnificent being on Earth, as if I was the full embodiment of love.
As if? Don’t I know by know that that is EXACTLY what I AM? That I am on the path of becoming fully conscious and aware of that TRUTH? Seven years ago I was not as conscious and aware as I am now. However, since time does not really exist, I can manifest a situation like the one earlier today to bring the past to the present and experience it fresh again, embracing all the gifts that I was not able to see then.
I realize now that while I thought that unconditional love on Earth was only possible from a mother to her children, I was not aware that I have been fully and unconditionally loved by my daughter probably from the second of her conception, at that magical and miraculous moment in which I started to share my blood and the air I breathed with her. My self-esteem had been so low at that time that I was not able to *see* that I was being fully received and loved by her with the same unconditional love I felt for her, or even purer.
So why is it that now, seven years later, this is the first time I am able to see this? Could it be that all the inner work I've been consciously doing is bearing fruit? Could it be that I am finally at the verge of receiving myself with the same unconditional love I was so blessed to have from my child? Can I love myself today no matter what? Can I lovingly smile at my reflection in the mirror on good days and on not-so-good days? Can I finally accept and fully love myself when I feel pretty as well as when I don’t? Can I simply be blissful to be *me* no matter how I look, how I smell, how many wrinkles or gray hairs I've grown? I know I can, just as I know that some days I might forget how to do it; the difference now is that I have the perfect moment to bring to the present so that I can never again pretend it is not true, so that I can always remember how much life has blessed me with the perfect example of the purest LOVE.
Carolina Iglesias was born and lives in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Trained professionally as a teacher of English as a Second Language and a Technical & Literary Translator, she discovered her passion for writing on her path to self-worth. She has been gifting subscribers and Facebook fans with the daily messages of her Runes, which are an invitations to expand self-awareness in the New Paradigm. You can find more about Carolina at awakeninginenglish.com and diariodeldespertardeunaconciencia.blogspot.com.ar.