Why You Need To Stop Beating Yourself Up About Bad Habits

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Title *Why You Need To Stop Beating Yourself Up About Bad Habits
Category *Health and Fitness » Emotional Freedom Technique
SummaryEmotional Freedom Techniques Tapping is full of contradictions that go against what so many people used to think. However, sometimes people want to do EFT, but they think they should still beat themselves up about bad behaviours. They think that shame and guilt about bad behaviour is the only way to stop them from engaging in it.
Body *

Emotional Freedom Techniques Tapping is full of contradictions that go against what so many people used to think. However, sometimes people want to do EFT, but they think they should still beat themselves up about bad behaviours. They think that shame and guilt about bad behaviour is the only way to stop them from engaging in it.

But they have been beating themselves up for years and the unwanted habits have simply gotten worse, not better. Put it this way... If we keep getting a headache when we bang our head against a wall, what makes us think the next time we will not get a headache too?! So when you come for an EFT session, you will usually have come to EFT because nothing else has actually properly worked.

Therefore, a new approach is needed.

Let me explain how this works with beating ourselves up to curb unwanted behaviours. When we engage in an unwanted behaviours, it is because we are self-soothing a bad feeling that we may not even be aware of, since the self-soothing has become such an automatic habit. When we beat ourselves up, we make ourselves feel bad, and when we feel bad, what do we do? We engage even more in the unwanted behaviours, because the need for self-soothing increases.

So whenever in my addictions sessions, the client says they are feeling ashamed or guilty, I make up a Setup-type statement to that effect, and I then ask, and when we feel bad, what are we more likely to do? And then I go quiet. That forces the client to answer, and I smile at them encouragingly. Then the client says "smoke"/"drink"/eat chocolate", or whatever their unwanted behaviour is. I nod my head in approval, and they get a sense of self-pride showing on their face. This process helps them to relax and let go of the guilt and shame. It also helps them feel in control of their healing process. And considering that the most stubborn addictions have a big element of lack of self-esteem, you can imagine just how helpful it is to the client to be told that they have just gotten an answer right.

If EFT is new to you, you can download a free guide from many a practitioner's website and get some explanations and how to do a basic self-help format. Or you can dive right in and attend a workshop or work with an experienced EFT practitioner.

Keywords *curb unwanted behaviours, bad habits, beating myself up, shame, smoking, eating, drinking, addiction, EFT
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© Suzanne Zacharia 2014. And of course, you are advised to consult with your medical practitioner before embarking on any course of alternative, complementary, or beauty therapy. Want to use this article? You can, as long as you credit me with it and invite your readers to get my FREE "EFT How-to for You" and regular free EFT Tapping script samples in my newsletter at http://www.EFT-Scripts.com - New to EFT? No worries, just get your own copy of "EFT How-to for You" and start EFTing with ease very soon!
Author *Suzanne Zacharia
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Health and Fitness/Emotional Freedom Technique

Why You Need To Stop Beating Yourself Up About Bad Habits
By Suzanne Zacharia
Expert Author Suzanne Zacharia

Emotional Freedom Techniques Tapping is full of contradictions that go against what so many people used to think. However, sometimes people want to do EFT, but they think they should still beat themselves up about bad behaviours. They think that shame and guilt about bad behaviour is the only way to stop them from engaging in it.

But they have been beating themselves up for years and the unwanted habits have simply gotten worse, not better. Put it this way... If we keep getting a headache when we bang our head against a wall, what makes us think the next time we will not get a headache too?! So when you come for an EFT session, you will usually have come to EFT because nothing else has actually properly worked.

Therefore, a new approach is needed.

Let me explain how this works with beating ourselves up to curb unwanted behaviours. When we engage in an unwanted behaviours, it is because we are self-soothing a bad feeling that we may not even be aware of, since the self-soothing has become such an automatic habit. When we beat ourselves up, we make ourselves feel bad, and when we feel bad, what do we do? We engage even more in the unwanted behaviours, because the need for self-soothing increases.

So whenever in my addictions sessions, the client says they are feeling ashamed or guilty, I make up a Setup-type statement to that effect, and I then ask, and when we feel bad, what are we more likely to do? And then I go quiet. That forces the client to answer, and I smile at them encouragingly. Then the client says "smoke"/"drink"/eat chocolate", or whatever their unwanted behaviour is. I nod my head in approval, and they get a sense of self-pride showing on their face. This process helps them to relax and let go of the guilt and shame. It also helps them feel in control of their healing process. And considering that the most stubborn addictions have a big element of lack of self-esteem, you can imagine just how helpful it is to the client to be told that they have just gotten an answer right.

If EFT is new to you, you can download a free guide from many a practitioner's website and get some explanations and how to do a basic self-help format. Or you can dive right in and attend a workshop or work with an experienced EFT practitioner.