Out Of Control and Feeling Helpless

Mary continually held her breath as she explained how her son Ken grew up in a single-parent home. She became pregnant after being drugged and raped on a blind date. Since kindergarten, Ken had been on a cocktail of drugs. Now eight he had already been on Ritalin, Zoloft, Risperdal, and Strattera. He was now on Adderall. She didn’t want him on medication, however his behavior was so disruptive, over-active, aggressive and uncooperative that it caused his teachers to give him poor evaluations. There was no question that Ken could sit in class for longer periods of time and being more attentive while on his medications. However his medications caused headaches, loss of appetite and depression. His behavior became aggressive with a “no fear” reckless attitude. He slept poorly and refused to sit still to pay attention.
Mary and Ken were totally in sync with their shallow breathing. They were locked in the traumas of their past and had effectively cut off their feelings by limiting their breathe. This had severe consequences for each of them. Both of their bodies were hunched over near collapse overwhelmed by the weight of the fear they each shared. Breath holding does not always take this form on the body, however.
Darcy’s circumstances were very different from Mary’s but her breathing difficulties were no less damaging. Darcy was impeccably dressed when we first met. Her Gucci bag and Jimmy Cho shoes spoke volumes about her self-image but nothing of why she sat lifeless before me. “I feel dead inside. I tried a number of different medications and they only made me angrier. I do just as poorly on them as off. I can’t seem to get things right, I am on such a roller coaster ride I can’t seem to keep focus. My work has me all stressed out and my relationships keep falling apart. Am I beyond help?” Darcy held her breathe throughout this diatribe. Despite her expensive make up, the color drained from her face. Her body was held rigidly as her eyes shared her pain.
The easier and deeper the body breathes, the healthier and more emotionally stable a human being is! Shallow breathing overworks the lungs as they work harder (sixteen to twenty breaths per minute) than a more relaxed person, who may need only eight to twelve breaths per minute. From the first breath you take as you enter this world to the last one you take as you leave, the source of our life-force energy which sustains our human existence is our breath. If you want more out of life, take deeper breaths on each inhalation. Most individuals with attention difficulties unknowingly breathe shallow and regularly hold their breath. This leads to being distracted and unstable.
When you breathe deeply and fully your body feels the increased space of this expansion in the lungs, diaphragm and the heart. This helps open the vascular system and feeds each cell. Cells deteriorate when stress dominates a body as the cell walls themselves break down through oxidation reactions. This releases harmful free radicals into your body that damage the healthy cells it comes in contact with. Anti-oxidant rich foods and supplements have gained popularity to offset precisely this damaged caused by shallow breathing.

Think of your bodily existence like a balloon. Your body is the vehicle that Life exhales its breath into to give it aliveness. The more life force you inhale, the more life and consciousness you receive. The deeper and more purified your breath is, the more uplifting your life is. The more life force you circulate in to your system the more empowered you feel. The speed of change is remarkable when proper breathing is restored.
Ken and Mary improved remarkably when I trained them in the basic Key One exercises. Their demeanor softened and a pinkish color returned to their face. They began to sit upright in their chairs as hope replaced their fears. They were stunned how fast they could improve their mental and emotional state just by changing the way they breathe. They agreed to practice these and other key exercises for fifteen minutes on a daily basis and did well to keep their promise. In just a few weeks Ken began getting positive reports from his teachers. His mother went against both his teachers and doctors’ advice and started weaning him off of his medications.
Darcy’s shift was no less inspiring. After Darcy shared her life story I began teaching her Key One exercises. They are easy to learn and quick to be mastered. They produce immediate results that can be quite dramatic. Darcy responded instantly; a spark of light shone in her heart and eyes. Aliveness had returned, it was a good start! I reminded her that daily practice was important as changing habits needs repetition to develop a new habit, which was our goal.

When you breathe deeply and fully your body feels the increased space of this expansion in the lungs, diaphragm and the heart. This helps open the vascular system and feeds each cell. Cells deteriorate when stress dominates a body as the cell walls themselves break down through oxidation reactions. This releases harmful free radicals into your body that damage the healthy cells it comes in contact with. Anti-oxidant rich foods and supplements have gained popularity to offset precisely this damaged caused by shallow breathing.

Think of your bodily existence like a balloon. Your body is the vehicle that Life exhales its breath into to give it aliveness. The more life force you inhale, the more life and consciousness you receive. The deeper and more purified your breath is, the more uplifting your life is. The more life force you circulate in to your system the more empowered you feel. The speed of change is remarkable when proper breathing is restored.
Ken and Mary improved remarkably when I trained them in the basic Key One exercises. Their demeanor softened and a pinkish color returned to their face. They began to sit upright in their chairs as hope replaced their fears. They were stunned how fast they could improve their mental and emotional state just by changing the way they breathe. They agreed to practice these and other key exercises for fifteen minutes on a daily basis and did well to keep their promise. In just a few weeks Ken began getting positive reports from his teachers. His mother went against both his teachers and doctors’ advice and started weaning him off of his medications.
Darcy’s shift was no less inspiring. After Darcy shared her life story I began teaching her Key One exercises. They are easy to learn and quick to be mastered. They produce immediate results that can be quite dramatic. Darcy responded instantly; a spark of light shone in her heart and eyes. Aliveness had returned, it was a good start! I reminded her that daily practice was important as changing habits needs repetition to develop a new habit, which was our goal.
Mary and Ken were diligent in their practice. Ken was weaned from his Adderall via the ten/ten method. This means reducing medication doses ten percent per week over a ten-week period of time. Ken went through two difficult weeks when his body became medication free for the first time in four years. This is not uncommon. His teacher was pleasantly surprised how much better Ken was doing in school. Now medication free, Ken was sleeping better, more cooperative, eating well, happy and determined to stay that way. He passed his first level of karate easily and had greatly improved his relationship with his mother and father.
Meanwhile, Mary was active in working with Key Six exercises to release the pent up rage that she had repressed for the past nine years. Mary gained deep insights into learning how a parent’s actions can affect a child for life. She regularly attended a special adult-only training program that focuses on Keys Five and Six. This later became my Seven Keys parents training program; New World Parenting.
A major test of Ken’s progress came when he went away for a month over summer vacation. Ken, now nine, was on his own without weekly classes and without his mother’s direct support. (This was before our online program existed). His grandparents knew nothing of what Ken had been doing, so couldn’t supervise his exercises. Ken’s commitment was unwavering, he practiced every day on his own and his family didn’t report any behavioral problems. Meanwhile, Mary was consistently practicing what she had learned and was thriving.
Mary sent me a note three and a half months into the program that summarizes Ken’s progress the best: “The meditation exercises and breathing skills are continuing tohelp him regain control. His appetite has increased and he is starting to grow at a normal pace. His eyes are clearer and the mood swings are residing – he has settled down quite a bit. He is proud to say that he is medication free and we are glad to see his spirit back again. We are glad that the program has shown us another way. Thank you!”
Darcy wasn’t as diligent with following through as she had promised. She would often miss classes or postpone training sessions as she had to maintain her “happy and successful façade.” She knew she was not being authentic but like many found ways to avoid and deny her false self.
Despite Darcy’s personal drama and inconsistency, she made great progress. She was authentically doing much better in her life. She had a spark of joy back in her eyes and hope in her heart. There was a major increase in the respiratory wave that moved through her body. This is the wave of life, a deep inner movement of the diaphragm and chest! Fear, doubt and confusion stifle your breath. Insecurity is very distracting. Darcy had become far more calm and centered. She had formed a new vision of her life and felt an authentic purpose arise inside her. She knew it was a long road ahead but she had new confidence that she could reach her destination.
Years later I ran into Darcy one night at a restaurant and we had a happy reunion. She looked so much more present, and at ease with herself. She thanked me again for all she had learned from our work together and told me she was still practicing what I taught her. “ Many of the tools are habits now and I don’t think too much about them. My friends still remark to be what a change I made and thought it was some new drug I was taking. I have taught many of the tools you showed me and find it gratifying to see how easily I could help them. I hope some of the people I referred to you actually show up. I remember how scared I was to meet you as I was afraid it wouldn’t work for me and I’d fail again. Fortunately I pushed through that! Thank you so much” She hugged me and went back to attend to her date. My state rose higher than usual as the joy I felt from having helped her improve her life was immense.
The tools and strategies of The 7 Keys One for Attention Development take time to become new habits. Its best to repeatedly practice them as often as possible. Your success will be directly proportional to the consistency of your practice. Practice, practice, practice is a useful mantra if you want success after success after success. Each of these skills will be utilized in a special 84 day protocol that will greatly improve your focus, emotional state and ability to relate well with others. As you learn them you will find which ones are most helpful for your condition. This is YOUR time now to give yourself the abilities you’ve been yearning for!
The book, The 7 Keys For Attention Development is now available at Amazon.com