These 52 tips offer useful ideas for coping emotionally in this uncertain economic climate. The tips are divided into four sections:
1. What to do when you worry
2. Taking care of yourself
3. Working together as a couple
4. Helping your children cope
It is my hope that these tips will help you strengthen your coping skills as you find solutions that will reduce the stress level in your life.
What to Do When You Worry
1. To feel anxious and worried is an appropriate reaction to the current economic situation. Everyone can relate to such feelings.
2. What you want to do is manage those strong feelings of anxiety and worry so they don’t interfere with your ability to stay focused on what you need to do.
3. It is helpful to take pencil and paper and write down all the things that make you anxious.
4. Although you are probably worried about many things identify your greatest fear. Is there something you can do about it now?
5. If you are like most people you are most likely concerned about the uncertainty of your future.
6. Stay in the present because that is the only place where you can take action.
7. If the acute anxiety persists, assign a 20 minute slot as your worry time. Let’s suppose you have decided to worry at 9 PM – anytime the worry comes up earlier in the day say to yourself: Let it go, I will worry about it at 9PM.
8. By having a designated worry time you have freed up energy you can use for other things.
9. Decide what you can do now that would be helpful and ease some anxiety.
10. For instance if you have decided that you want to cut back on your spending come up with a specific first step. You could decide to pack your lunch rather than buy lunch at work. This is something that is immediately doable and will give you a sense of control.
11. Then add another doable step. Some of the big things may take time to work out but there are steps that you can take that are within your control.
12. When your anxiety is managed you can focus on finding answers to questions that you have. Perhaps you need to contact your financial advisor, speak to your mortgage broker, or make decisions on cutting back on expenditures.
13. Remember that when people are stressed they are much more likely to revert to all or nothing thinking, imagine worst case scenarios, and fall into “ if only I had” thinking. Catch yourself if you find yourself doing that and remind yourself that these are exaggerations.
14. You can reduce your anxiety by accepting that many things are indeed out of your control. Your task now is to look for doable solutions in your personal situation.
15. When worry and stress are managed the mind is free to start finding solutions.
Taking Care of Yourself
16. Breathe – such a simple but important idea. When under stress people start breathing faster and shallower. Instead, breathe deeply from your diaphragm. It will help get more oxygen to your brain and clear your mind.
17. Limit the amount of news you read or watch. The incessant bombardment creates a constant state of agitation.
18. When the TV or news on line is limited your mind is free to focus on other things.
19. Set some time aside every day to do something that relaxes you. For some it may be reading, taking a bubble bath, etc. – you know what gives you that sense of relaxation.
20. Get in touch with what really matters to you. What are the deep ingrained values which define who you are?
21. A financial crisis forces us to look inward and realize that besides our financial well being there are other places from where we derive our sense of security and purpose.
22. Make time every day to get some exercise. Walking is considered one of the easiest and healthiest ways to get exercise.
23. Keep your daily routines in place. Do not stop doing things that need to be done because you are anxious.
24. Be sure to eat regular meals. If your habit has been to turn to food when stressed watch the nibbling.
25. When under stress it is easy to turn to comfort foods. Be conscious of that and make sure you have fruits and vegetables on hand.
26. You have control over your attitude. A positive attitude will energize you and make it easier to find solutions.
27. Connect with people who matter to you. There is much to be gained from having a support system.
28. Although financial concerns loom dominant you will need to be emotionally strong to find solutions for your personal life situation.
29. If your faith brings you solace let it be part of your life.
30. The better care you take of yourself emotionally and physically the stronger will be your ability to deal with the impact on you and your family due to the financial crisis.
Working Together as a Couple
31. If you are in a relationship you have to operate on two levels: 1. Be clear about what you feel and think 2. Find out and care about what your partner feels and thinks.
32. Difficult times can put enormous stress on relationships. It becomes necessary to develop tools that do not add stress to the relationship.
33. This is a time when it is important to put other things aside and concentrate on how you together can get through this crisis.
34. Stay away from blame and criticism. It will keep you in the past. There are always plenty of reasons to say: If you only had done that we wouldn’t be in this situation. Reality is that it is too late to undo what has already happened.
35. Live in the present. This is the only place where you can start looking for solutions.
36. Take time to clarify your individual values with each other. You may well find that some things matter very much to one and not to the other.
37. Identify what matters to both of you. This becomes the foundation for coming up with solutions.
38. Crisis can bring couples together or it will separate them if they cannot agree on what is important.
39. It is too stressful to work on cross purposes. If you find yourself in that situation go back to the drawing board and start over by identifying what both of you can support.
40. Some of the decisions you have to make may be very painful if you have support it will be doable and an opportunity for growth as an individual and as a couple.
41. Keep a “we will get through this” attitude.
Helping Your Children Cope
42. Children in a one parent or a two parent family know when there is stress.
43. Explain to them that you have to make some adjustments that will also impact their lives. Ask the children to tell you what they think is going on. You may be surprised how much they know.
44. The more the adults have learned to manage their anxiety the easier it will be for children.
45. You can now have a rational discussion, based on the ages of the children, as to what might be some of the changes that you want to introduce.
46. If you have decided that it is important to curtail spending ask the children what they are willing to do.
47. Children like to feel that they can contribute and that what they are doing is helping the family. It gives them a sense of being part of the solution.
48. Curtail their exposure to the news. The constant bombardment of “breaking news” is anxiety producing.
49. Instead, come up with activities that strengthen family interaction. You may want to bake bread, come up with new recipes rather than eating out, play games and have fun.
50. If you have family rituals like going to church, celebrating birthdays, visiting grandparents, etc. try to keep them in place.
51. Make sure to have dinner together as a family on a regular basis.
52. Remember that children get their cues from the adults in their life. If you trust that you will all get through this difficult time by working together and loving each other your children and you will be all right.
Kristina von Rosenvinge is an expert in helping people grow in self-mastery which is also the foundation for creating healthy relationships.
You can learn more about her work by visiting http://www.kristinavonrosenvinge.com and http://relationshiphelpforyou.com
Her passion is coaching men and women to lead their lives so that they can enjoy personal and business success.