Ever wonder exactly what you say that makes people take action? Ever wonder if there are key phrases and specific words that cause someone to engage with you, follow your advice, thank you for making a difference in their lives?
Research into how the brain communicates with itself and with each other is super in vogue these days. And no wonder, that walnut shaped organ in the top of our heads wields a lot of power over what we think, do, and say.
Coaching is a brain thing. Once you master how to talk with others you can master getting them to take action. This gives you mega tons of power. So, use the following advice carefully; you can use to manipulate or you can use to help others become the best they can be.
Of course, if you manipulate, it will bite you in the rump sooner or later. Use to help and you will be rewarded over and over with acknowledgment and appreciation.
1. Know how someone processes information: three main ways we come to know the world; see, hear or feel. Those who are visual will say “I see the problem” so meet them with visual words like “Let me show you how or “Can you picture this”. The auditory folks learn better when you say “”How does that sound” or “Do you hear what I mean”. Those who are kinesthetic do best when you say “How does that feel to you” or “Did that idea touch you.”
2. Keep asking questions: we can be coached to solution when we have to think for ourselves. Open ended reporter style questions win; how, what, where, when, and why forces another brain to scan for answers that are richer and lead to better solutions.
3. Keep the dialogue going: Once you get an answer hold off on your opinion with the MAGIC WORDS “tell me more”. This will help the one you are coaching dig deeper for more effective solutions. What is critical is staying quiet and letting their rains do the work; remember you are coaching, not solving their issues.
4. Help them find their “groundhog day” dilemmas: often individuals repeat behaviors that derail success by doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. This is a great definition of insanity. Good coaching means helping them find the situations that are the “repeatables” by asking them “When did you have the same kind of thing happen in the past?”
5. Let them connect the dots from past to present: guide them to find the specific behavior or personality type that is the button pusher. Help them see, hear or feel what gets in the way of successful outcome of conflict. Here you guide them to observe the patterns of others that cause annoyance.
6. Go for the gold of accountability: help them see exactly how their own behavior is part of the drama of troubling behavior. Suggest the take the pattern aware test at www.sylvialafair.com and learn where they have to do some personal changing. Then go back to #1 and give the six steps a review. With new pattern aware insights the brain has new information that will take those you coach to success in the speed of light.
There you have it. Six steps that will make you be the first to be acknowledged when the ones you coach get Oscars for accountability, productivity, and creativity.
Dr. Sylvia Lafair, award winning author of “Don’t Bring It to Work”, leadership expert and executive coach helps you find your “POWER SPOT”. Be more powerful, persuasive, proactive, positive, and Pattern Aware™.
Her innovative methods are used internationally by leaders at every level of an organization. Get started by taking the QUIZ at www.sylvialafair.com and find out what you never knew about yourself (it’s really fun). Then contact us for a free consultation. Being Pattern Aware ™ is the work of 21st Century leaders. It is part of the three vital areas for all coaching sessions : self-care, self-aware, and pattern-aware.
For information about becoming a Pattern Aware ™ coach go to www.ceoptions.com or call us at 570 636 3858.