I wish there was a graph that let me know what was my fault and what was his problem. Is it my own crazy thinking that takes over at any damn time it pleases OR is there “REAL” proof that he is pulling away and NOW he’s just not that into me?
Last week we went out two nights and one of those nights was spent clothes shopping. We were looking for something he could wear to my work cocktail party. We had been exchanging texts daily and we even had one mini phone conversation.
This week has been just the opposite. There has been a complete 180-degree turn-around. Last week I received a short but amazing good morning text followed by good afternoon text. Later, I was sent a, “hey lets get together” text. This happened four times last week but this week...nothing. He feels distant and my mind starts to be consumed with the fact that, I did something unknowingly wrong or he has now decided he’s just not that into me!
At work, I catch myself checking my phone for that accidently missed call. No such luck. I can hear my mind starting to say bizarre things like; Well, I really did not like him that much anyways! WAIT ! I know this is not true but somehow I have gotten myself into a total crazed funk. All this has been accomplished in the last 48hours. How does this happen and is it just me?
There are two questions that you can ask yourself to determine if this is a “you thing” or not.
Question #1, “Would this normally bother me?” Sometimes when we start to get excited about getting close to that someone special and we become hypersensitive. Our emotions are on high alert. Is this going to be just another guy who I like and then mysteriously disappears? As you begin to feel as though you could like this guy, you may start to place yourself in and out of imaginary situations. You might even catch yourself obsessing over one thing that you thought was an awkward moment and or dwelling on something you said wrong.
Question #2, Do I have a history of looking too closely at a situation and deciding that it has to be a certain way only to later find out that it was just a matter of two people doing the same thing differently?
A prime example is when he doesn’t call when you think he should. You have allowed your view or belief to cloud what’s really happening. You say, “Maybe he’s not interested, maybe he’s found someone else.” In all actuality he could be in a meeting, at the gym or taking a nap. Now your negative emotions have clouded a relatively harmless situation.
There’s a solution to not letting these questions wreak havoc in your relationship. The key is to be able to notice and speak up gently when this happens. You don’t have to suffer in silence. Tell your partner what is going on inside your head and heart.
The magic to lasting love is being able to tell you your partner how you feel without sounding like a wacko or worse yet make him wrong! Approaching the situation with an open mind and kind words can go a long way.
Its one thing to have a personal event in your head but to project that event and the emotions that it carries onto another is not something that a good partner does.
It is quite all right for it to be “just you” real or imagined.
For more information from Lori Pinkerton head on over to www.FindLastingLoveNow.com
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Lori Pinkerton
Author, Speaker, Coach
Lori Pinkerton specializes in helping woman break through the cycles of relationship disappointments and missed opportunities.
With her innovative process, Lori teaches women how to “grab” the advantages in dating and love.
She helps women rediscover themselves and their dreams. This is easier to say and harder to do. Knowing this, Lori’s coaching products and services take learning one step further by showing women “how to” use these discoveries to have
the relationships most only dream of!
Lori Pinkerton has made a career out of her passion—helping every woman, no matter who they are, create irresistible connections on their dates and ultimately find the love of their life.
Her success caught the eye of TV’s 180 Life and Style Makeovers, a national television show that premiered in the fall of 2010 on the Oxygen channel, and the first show of its kind to account for the whole woman. The producers invited her to share her secrets with America. As the show’s dating and relationships expert, Lori teaches the women how to breathe new love into their lives and she helps women create relationships that leave them feeling wanted instead of feeling wanting.
Her proven tools get to the heart of what matters—showing women how to create the dates they dream of and experience an intimacy that most have given up on ever finding.
Lori doesn’t believe in settling—that’s why she took the scary step of leaving an unfulfilling marriage after 23 years. Tired of her depression and unhappiness, she abruptly took her perfectly imperfect life off autopilot.
Raised by nine moms and three dads before the age of ten, Lori spent her young adult life building a castle of stability around herself.
“I grew up very poor. My granny used to say all the time, ‘If we just had money, everything would be great,’” she says. But once Lori reached the top of that castle—surrounded by multiple houses, a successful construction business, and a model family—she looked down and wondered, “Why do I feel so empty? How come I never feel good enough?”
Lori would find an answer in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), a tool for re-envisioning herself beyond the self-imposed limits that had kept her confined for so many years. After studying under NLP expert Richard Bandler, she became a certified trainer and began helping others recognize and act on their vast potential in their personal and professional lives. As a life coach she was wildly successful.
But the now-foreign world of dating made her head spin. She admits,“It took me a year after the divorce to even start dating.” Then the idea to use her business and life-coaching experience in her dating hit her like a ton a bricks. She started Get Up and Date to support women in finding quality dates that lead to lasting love ~ because she understands that settling is too often an easy alternative to fighting for what you want.
This hard-working author, speaker, and coach—now has expanded her reach to help couples reunite and stay together not as the broken shell of what used to be but a TRUE expression of what love is. For more information and transformation as a couple check out her ground breaking programs at:
www.AttractYourEx Blueprint.com