If one day you bang your elbow and seven years later the same spot still aches, and now radiating pains are appearing in your fingers and shoulder, you would start to suspect that something in your body's system was amiss! You would conclude, virtually beyond any doubt, that your original injury never healed properly.
By the very fact of its continuing presence in our body, we intuitively know that such pains are not supposed to linger on and on. But speaking of a pain that won't go away, that spreads and compromises other parts of the self, what about that ache that appeared that day your close friend betrayed your trusting heart? Why doesn't it seem odd to us that this pain should persist and, in some cases, worsen as it so often does?
The real question before us is twofold: we have to ask ourselves not only why these types of mental and emotional wounds never stop hurting us, but also why it is that their hidden cause -- that "slash" somewhere in our soul -- just won't heal.
By the very absence of the healing that ought naturally follow any form of injury, we should be able to deduce that certain counter forces must be at work within us. There have to be unseen anti-healing forces with a vested interest in our continued suffering. If we can see the truth of this startling fact then we should also realize how vital it is for us to shed light on this unseen enemy of natural healing. Such insight is not just necessary, it is critical if we going to be able to help ourselves realize a true self-healing.
Let's begin this investigation with a simple illustration. Imagine for a moment the familiar pain that comes with having eaten ice cream too quickly, when one's mouth or throat gets that painful freeze feeling. When we experience a pain like this, we don't worry about what to do because, in this instance, we know a certain truth about the nature of this pain that prevents us from getting embroiled in it. What is this truth?
We simply know that this pain will pass as soon as its cause goes away. We may hop around a bit, but we know better than to leap into fear, blame, or self-loathing. Yet, in sharp contrast to this natural wisdom, whenever we get handed a cold-hearted blow from someone or something in life, everything about how we handle such moments changes. Our pain, instead of passing with its cause, persists. And rather than healing, our hurt gets constantly refreshed with every remembrance of that initial moment. Why is this so? What is happening within us? Follow the next few ideas closely to see these truths at work in you.
First, as we now suspect, there is at work in us an undetected nature that will not allow the cause of our pain to pass so that the healing may take place. Can we see that we have parts of us that just won't let go of being angry with someone who got angry with us? But that's not all!
Can we also see that these same smoldering parts of ourselves would have us believe that being on fire is the best way to get over being burned? Of course! Once we bring such self-destructive behavior out into the light we can also see that these actions must be unconscious to us; no one would consciously harm him- or herself.
Any part of us trying to drag us into a heated stew over "who" or "what" should be blamed for our pain is secretly working to divide and conquer us. This spiritual fact cannot be overstated, nor should the understanding of its rescuing power be underestimated, which is why we will now bring light into this dark deception.
In that moment when we are thrown into emotional conflict, regardless of its initial cause, the first step this in-the-dark nature takes to deceive us is to direct our awareness away from the actual hurt we feel. It accomplishes this mean feat by its second step: it misleads us into placing our attention on the enemy outside of us, that person or condition that it points to as being responsible for our pain.
Once this unconscious self has succeeded in dividing us up in this manner, we now have less than half the possible powers that we need to heal. And if this wasn't bad enough, the remaining forces of light needed for our healing are themselves now half compromised by subsequent negative reactions that tell us to lash out at whatever it is that has been blamed for our pain!
The next time any pain -- be it an old familiar one, or an altogether new ache -- pushes itself in upon you, come wide-awake to yourself and remember this last important step: Do not try to do one thing with any psychological pain that passes through you, other than to remain as awake as you can to its presence within you. Then, into this conscious self-awareness bring the following new understanding: this pain is not you but, in reality, constitutes a calling out from the injured part of you to a Higher Power to be healed.
Your job is to see that the call gets through. Nothing more, nothing less.
If you will do your part in fulfilling this higher plan for healing what pains you -- and agree to simply hold this hurt of yours in the light of your own higher self-awareness -- then the healing you hope for cannot be denied and has, in some ways, already occurred. All you need to do is remain true to this principle as it works itself out within you. The rest is done for you.
Guy Finley is the best-selling author of more than 40 books and audio albums on self-realization. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study located in southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week. For more information visit www.guyfinley.org, and sign up to receive a free helpful newsletter each week.