The Void: Where the change process stops us

Change requires a letting go and trust that there is a second and third base and that I can make it there. It is about trusting myself and God and the universal laws to unfold a new reality for me. It is knowing that my vision, prayers, visualizations, affirmations and wishes will come true.

Too often the test is right to the eleventh hour, where I must totally give up and let in the new. To make it worse, everything seems to go wrong at the same time. This is a place where my life turns upside down. It’s a place that calls for surrender and faith, knowing that my beliefs are being changed at a deep level.

When I was in the consulting business, my heart wanted to move into the personal development and education field. As I was planning this process, my client offered me a phenomenal opportunity, with substantial equity in a company in the personal development field. It was like falling in love--the infatuation, the fantasy, the excitement. My mind was full of ideas.

After a few days, I sat down with myself and analyzed it more closely. Something was saying it wasn't the right move. But I kept the door open on the opportunity and was getting pressure for a commitment.

During this time, my mind was in a fog. It seemed like I couldn't think or even add 2 + 2. I was torn between what looked like the offer of a lifetime and what my heart wanted to do--my own programs, not someone else's. And I did not want to let my friends down.

This fog brought on tears (yes, men can cry). It was scary to be unable to break out of my stuck thinking patterns. My mind seemed dead to new ideas and everything in my life was going wrong or stopped flowing. Finally, I had to make my stand. I did not join their group.

Making the decision relieved some of the fog, but it was a few weeks before the dust settled and I was fully functional mentally. During that time, I was gentle with myself, not creating too many pressures or new decisions. I soon realized a new level of commitment to creating and delivering my own programs and taking control of my life.

Now, when I sense I am in this fog or transition zone, I work to just be there and identify with it. I step back and watch myself, careful to avoid overreacting to situations. I keep my focus on the results I want, and I act as though they are already in place. I stay open to opportunity. I'm glad I've learned how it feels to be in transition, because as I grow and change, there will be more of them, and I want to become a master at navigating through the fog into my next vital stage in life.