***Understanding Success, Failure, and Lessons in Self Improvement

Success, Failure, and Lessons in Self Improvement
“Wherever you are, that is where you are meant to be, experiencing the things you were meant to experience.”
A client recently contacted me asking about test taking. His main concern was that he did not want to fail a certain test. During the conversation, I gave him strategies as to how to go about taking tests without getting stressed out. This would give him the upper hand in taking any tests.

Failure and Lessons
We got back to the main issue of not failing. He asked, “But what if I fail?” I answered him, “You are likely to learn more out of anything that you fail than learn from passing.” It makes sense. You will learn many lessons when you fail at something. But if you pass that event, you have no reason to look for your lessons.

Everything that happens to us happens for a purpose. And sometimes, one thing leads to another. Instead of locking yourself up in your cage of fears and crying over past heartaches, embarrassment and failures, treat them as your teachers and they will become your tools in both self improvement and success.

Patch Adams
I remember watching “Patch Adams” – a movie. It really shows you something about improving yourself. Hunter “Patch” Adams is a medical student who failed to make it through the board exams. After months of suffering in melancholy, depression and suicidal attempts – he decided to seek medical attention and voluntarily admitted himself in a psychiatric ward. His months of stay in the hospital led him to meeting different kinds of people. Sick people in that matter. He met a catatonic, a mentally handicapped person, a schizophrenic and so on. Patch found ways of treating his own ailment and finally realized he has to get back on track. He woke up one morning realizing that after all the failure and pains he has gone through, he still want to become a doctor. His positive attitude brought him self-improvement and success. He didn’t only improve himself, but also the life of the people around him and their quality of life. Did he succeed? Needless to say, as the story goes, he became the best doctor America has ever known.

So, when does self improvement become synonymous with success? Where do we start? Here are some tips:

*Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?

*When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on self improvement, not self pitying. Those people were selected to project a certain image. Self acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.

*When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them move up. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.

*The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you failed on a science quiz. There’s always a next time. Make room for self improvement.

*Take things one at a time. You don’t expect a black sheep to become a goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self improvement is a one day at a time process.

*Self improvement results in inner stability, personality development and SUCCESS. It comes from self confidence, self appreciation and self esteem.

* Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self improvement doesn’t turn you to be the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. It aims at achieving results to an improved and better YOU.

*Appreciate others. Little things mean BIG to other people. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “hi” or “hello”, greeting someone “good day” or telling Mr. Smith something like “hey, I love your tie!” are simple things that mean so much to other people. When we are being appreciative about beautiful things around us and other people, we also become beautiful to them.

*When you are willing to accept change and go through the process of self improvement, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is. The world is a place where people have different values and attitudes. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, she would most likely decline an invitation for self improvement. (Be careful with this one. The other person may think you value them less unless they participate. This can precipitate many undesired results.)

Appreciate Where You are in Life

Very few people can be truly labelled as ‘over-night successes’. Either, they are just lucky, or they have been leading up to that moment with often years of working in the same area. It’s a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have now, realizing that those are just one of the things you once wished for. A very nice quote says, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” We are all here to learn our lessons. Our parents, school teachers, friends, colleagues, officemates, neighbours, etc… they are our teachers. When we open our doors for self improvement, we increase our opportunities for success.

“There really are no failures in life; only lessons to be learned.”

Shannon Panzo
Great Things Happen Here!