I remember this sign in an organization for which I worked years ago, and when I thought of some of my colleagues, I laughed in recognition.
Much later, I recognized that some of them probably had my face in mind when they looked at the sign and laughed.
The expression refers to someone (me, of course) who would be a high performer in this environment, if it were not for the underperforming people around one.
In fact, it often describes people who are doing something so annoying that we feel frustrated and avoidant.
Here are some common turkey behaviors.
- Bluffer & Blusterer: sounds so confident that others clam up and stop offering ideas, even if they feel the B & B is wrong.
- The Clam: doesn’t offer ideas in a group setting but confides criticisms to a favored few later on, leaving others feeling mystified or betrayed.
- The Checker: constantly protests and wants to slow down others until all the facts are in. They never are.
- Just likes to have fun: turns every meeting into a kind of party or joke-fest which can derail actual progress.
Have you noticed that all of these people seem to be motivated by insecurity? They’re not doing it to YOU; they’re just doing what they do to protect themselves. These behaviors are signs they are under stress, and everyone has typical ways of dealing with that stress. For example:
- The B & B is just trying to avoid feeling out of control. Listen, appreciate the offering, and then speak up. This person isn’t keeping you from speaking up; you are.
- The Clam is terrified of speaking in a public setting. Ask the Clam in advance of a public meeting what he or she might contribute. Listen carefully in a relaxed manner so the Clam isn’t afraid to speak in your presence.
- The Checker is afraid of being wrong. Lavish praise for the carefulness he or she brings to any situation, then gently bring the Checker back to the original goal that is being pursued.
- Just likes to have fun: This one is terrified at not being liked, and is competing to get the most attention. Suggest that the JLTHF use this enthusiasm and high energy level to inspire and motivate others.
Once again, they’re not doing it to YOU. They are displaying the fact that they are under stress, and maybe could use a little help in de-stressing. Offer that help, if you can.
By the way, what kind of turkey are you?
Lynette Crane, M.A.(Psychology) and Certified Life Coach,is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer, and coach. She has more than 30 years' experience in the field of stress management. She currently works to provide stress and time pressure solutions to harried women, those women who seek "Islands of Peace" in their overly-busy lives. Her talks to groups of what she calls "harried women" are receiving rave reviews. Visit her website at http://www.creativelifechanges.com/ to see more in-depth articles and to view her programs.