How to Build a Better Relationship With Yourself

"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's funny how we've spent our whole life with ourselves, but sometimes the person in the mirror can be the hardest one to get to know. And it goes without saying that it's difficult to truly appreciate something or someone you don't understand. When building confidence and self-esteem, the single most important thing you can do is to rebuild the internal relationship that you have with yourself. Numbers speak volume and it's difficult for negativity to go up against the positive power of Me, Myself and I.

Before diving into how to get to know yourself better and reconstructing self-trust, it's important to begin by making a commitment to stand by the single person who has a hand in all of your decisions, you. Here is an Affirmation of Inner Beauty taken from The Seeds of Beauty, to remind you of the relationship you must continually build with yourself no matter what your stage in life.

[Speak Your Name],

To you, I will never be a fair weather friend.

When you are afraid, I will give you the courage to step forward,

If ever you make a mistake, I will never lose faith in you.

And when you begin to doubt how beautiful you are, I will remind you.

Today and every day I promise to always stand by you.

You are me. I am you.

I Love You.

Print this affirmation and post it in a visible place within your office or home.

It comes as no surprise that building a positive self-esteem starts with getting to know yourself again and this will require that you regularly devote some down-time to spend with yourself. What's your favorite movie, place to visit or song to listen to? Set aside time in your schedule to do these things. Fall in love with who you are by supporting yourself and bringing out the best in you through your interests.

What can action steps can I take to build a better relationship with myself?

When we're on a date and getting to know someone, the first thing we do is ask questions. So why not do the same for yourself? Start by asking yourself the following:

What values are important to me?
What are my dreams for the future?
What makes me afraid?
What do I dislike?
How do I envision myself to be?
The thing that would mean the most to me right now is...

The key is to be honest in your answers. Pay attention to your likes/dislikes. What things are hardest for you to admit to yourself?

After letting myself down so many times in the past, I struggle with trusting myself. What can I do to reconnect?

Reconnecting to who you are and building a better relationship with yourself begins with forgiveness. We all make mistakes and if you hold your mistakes over your head like a guillotine ready to punish you the each time you make a mistake, you do yourself more harm than good. Take a blank sheet of paper and fill in the following sentence:

I forgive myself for...

List out every misstep that has made you angry, every mistake that has made you ashamed, and every mistake that has made you feel less than yourself. With the same kindness that you would show a friend, read each sentence aloud. As you read each sentence, allow yourself to gently let it go and ultimately heal.