***Do You Need Time Alone In Your Marriage?

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
In our interviews around the world over the past 30+ years we have come to appreciate the wonderful advice we have received from happily and successfully married couples. At the top of the advice list from these couples is this simple notion – great marriages require unencumbered time and time to be alone!

You have read our musings about the fundamental predisposition of every human being to have time alone – to have time only to their private thoughts. In our book, Building a Love that Lasts , we describe privacy and aloneness as one of the “seven secrets of successful marriage.”

In many ways, “unencumbered time” might, in fact, be the “eighth secret.” Everyone needs time alone – that’s an established fact. But just as importantly, everyone needs unencumbered time – time when nothing is planned, nothing is programmed, nothing is on your iCal calendar on your iPhone, and nothing is in the way of your completely spontaneous day!

Successfully married couples know this – there are days in their marriage and in their relationship when nothing should be planned, nothing should be scripted, and nothing should be in the way to a totally and completely unencumbered day.

We have interviewed couple after couple – thousands of them – on our journey around the world in search of the best marriages. Our travels have taken us to all seven of the world’s continents.

On each continent, and with each successfully married couple we have interviewed, there are many truths we have learned, but first and foremost among them is this – unencumbered time and time alone is necessary to the health and well being of the best marriages.

Here’s how it works. The next time you and the one you love wake up in the morning, let it be your resolve for that day – plan nothing! Let your whim drive your day. When you get to the fork in the road, take it, as Yogi Berra used to say! Make choices for no particular reason.

To have a day without restrictions and without encumbrances is to have a day you will cherish. In our hectic, fast-paced lives, it is good to know that you can, in fact, slow down, smell the roses, and let your instincts guide your way.

So many marriages are predictable – everything is planned. But the truth is, that is not the way the best marriages go. The best marriages understand that there are days when you need time alone. The best marriages understand that there are days when you need to plan NOTHING!

Being spontaneous is the hallmark of the best marriages we have studied over the years. Placing trust in your collective ability to do what comes naturally and impulsively is, in fact, a wonderful indicator of the quality of your loving relationship. Trust yourself. Trust the one you love. Live dangerously!

Over the 47 years of our marriage, we have come to appreciate our unencumbered days. They have proven to be the best days of our lives together. Why don’t you try having an unencumbered day tomorrow!

Allowing you and your spouse time to be alone is amongst the greatest gifts you can give each other!

Simple Things Matter in Love and Marriage. Love well!
Creating a successful marriage is not always the easiest thing to do. Your visiting our blog suggests you are highly interested in making your marriage work! And truthfully, we have learned over 30 years of marriage research that there are proven effective ways to ensure a happy and healthy marriage. In fact, we took hundreds of tips from the thousands of happy couples we interviewed and put them into our award-winning and bestselling book, Building a Love that Lasts .

***Today, you can see how you stack up to the best marriages around the world. Take the Marriage Quiz to assess your chances of achieving a successful marriage of your own and buy How to How to Marry the Right Guy, to find out if your guy has the essential 33 characteristics to be a great husband.
In love and marriage the simple things matter. Love well!

By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts