With getting married comes a lot of changes and these include your finances. Though dealing with money issues is not the most romantic of tasks, couples should take time to sort out their finances as soon as they return from the honeymoon.
If you’re a newlywed couple, here are tips on how ... Views: 21
Look deeply into your relationship. Is it the kind that you would want for your kids when they receive adulthood? This question gets asked of my new clients frequently. They looked puzzled at first then expressions
of shame and guilt spawn across their faces. As you might imagine, their ... Views: 13
A prior radio show episode centered on breaking through down fantasies, then jumping at the realities of moving in together. In a nut shell, most people begin wildly in love, constantly desiring one another; life is easy and flowing along. The next step of course is to move in with one ... Views: 16
We have an idea in this culture that you either have it or you don’t: You’re athletic or you’re clumsy; you’re a great orator or you stumble over words; you’re talented artistically or you can barely draw a stick figure; love comes easily to you or you struggle to find flow in relationships. ... Views: 19
“Our eyes are not viewers; they are also projectors that are running a second story over the picture that we see in front of us all the time. Fear is writing that script. Now fear is going to be a player in your life. You get to decide how much. You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, ... Views: 38
As I began to spiritually mature I noticed that I was really unhappy when I didn't get my own way. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in a sour mood. Somebody suggested I let go and let God take over. At the time that didn't sound like a very good idea to me. Give up control???
What I now ... Views: 42
The reality of how much time and thought you give to your family is of course in many ways a unique question that can only be answered by the individual themselves. The reason it is so important is because in a significant number of cases the amount of focus that an individual puts on the family ... Views: 37
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am writing this letter to you because I really want to know what is the right love to last a lifetime? I am frustrated right now. How couples especially married, last love into lifetime? I am in love with someone, but I don't know if that person feels the ... Views: 54
One the many problems of living in an image-based, superficial culture is that we learn to take life at face value. You have a dream about having sex with someone other than your partner and you latch onto the most obvious interpretation that you secretly want to have sex with someone else. You ... Views: 42
A few weeks ago my family and I spent five days up in the mountains. Overall, it was a lovely vacation, with much laughter, hiking, game-playing, and boating. But for some reason my husband and I were in one those spells when we bumped heads at some point each day. Perhaps it was hormones or ... Views: 42
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am currently reading your book, The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman can Make Before 40 and absolutely loving it. I have been married for a year and four months and we are going through a really tough time right now. I have suggested counseling and my husband ... Views: 88
Despite the occasional temporary setback, my life is good, and I’m grateful. It wasn’t always that way, however. At 18, just after I left for college, I was essentially orphaned, and have had to go from no education or support to finding a purpose, supporting myself through a ... Views: 83
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple” — Dr. Seuss
Finding the person that you want to spend the rest of your life deserves to be celebrated and honored. When you make the decision to get married it shows how your commitment to one another has evolved, aspiring ... Views: 116
For quite a while now, we’ve heard many public figures, like Rush Limbaugh and comedian Bill Maher express scorn about people who are politically correct. Maher even gave his show the very funny title “Politically Incorrect.” Terms like “the PC police” were used to ... Views: 83
"Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers,
Blossoming even as we gaze
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another,
Laiden with happiness and tears…"
- “Sunrise, Sunset,” Fiddler On The Roof
As any parent will know, the moment a child is ... Views: 86
I thought if I played by the rules and did everything the way THEY said I should like a good little Catholic girl, I’d feel safe. I’d grow up, get married and have lots of kids like my Mom and live happily ever after.
Why would I even think that since Mom wasn’t living happily ever ... Views: 118
Talking sweet is about finding your "sugar" even if you're not happy and want to discuss a problem with your man. This is about speaking your power and speaking from your feminine.
Using words describing your feelings in order to say what does not feel good to your man is how you talk ... Views: 124
There's a lot of misinformation about divorce, and Dr. Romance would like to clear up some of the confusion.
Here are 11 things people will not tell you about divorce.
1. Divorce will not make you happier, unless you’re leaving an abusive relationship.2. Divorce sometimes seems ... Views: 129
Want to be powerful in your relationships? Learn emotional self-control. Learning to take charge of your emotions means you can’t be “set off” by someone else. You control your reactions, they don’t control you. When you’re too reactive to your partner, he or she ... Views: 141
Your 25th wedding anniversary is a huge milestone indicating a deep and beautiful commitment. Show your spouse you still know how to spice things up with an amazing anniversary surprise.
A Surprise Trip
A little quality time in an exciting location is a great way to reconnect without the ... Views: 105
In my counseling practice, couples are often surprised to learn they can communicate and solve problems effectively without fighting; but sometimes you may find it’s not so easy to give up your struggles. You may have trouble letting go of the fighting habit because of two factors: social ... Views: 119
Divorce can be a uniquely painful affair, especially for the children involved in a couple’s separation. To avoid inflicting any additional trauma, it is smart to calmly discuss the issue beforehand. Here are some tips for easing the talk:
Emphasize Personal Importance
Stress their ... Views: 89
What do you really believe about relationships, starting with yourself?
It is widely accepted that about 90% of our belief system (BS) was formed by the age of 7. To know what we really believe about relationships would be critical as it has shaped how we view them today at least to the ... Views: 120
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Dear Dr. Romance:
I saw your video about couples fighting over finances
I am totally on board as I think what you share is phenomenal. The challenge is my approach I suppose as my wife Mel is almost NEVER on board. I guess we don't ... Views: 141
Why the Nice biscuits are nice? I do not know if you think they are nice. Anyhow, there could be several reasons for them to be nice :
They are sweet
They are inexpensive
They are available
Some has brought them for you
Being a child, your mother used to offer them to you
Your friend ... Views: 131
Arguing is a natural and even healthy part of any relationship. It gives you an outlet for your frustrations and helps open the lines of communication. You can air out your grievances and walk away feeling happier and healthier. While fighting is healthy, it can also indicate a more serious ... Views: 93
We’re wired for attachment – why babies cry when separated from their mothers. Depending especially upon our mother’s behavior, as well as later experiences and other factors, we develop a style of attaching that affects our behavior in close relationships.
Fortunately, most people have a ... Views: 168
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am a native American woman who has been abused and betrayed by my husband. He was my coresearcher and advisor for several years. We were married according to tribal custom, which he later denied happened and disowned me in the courts where he was ... Views: 107
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am mid-thirties mom with 3 children looking to divorce. I read your article "Family Violence Q & A" and I decided to write to you for help to stand on my feet again. I was a homemaker since I had my first child, but had lived very unfulfilled ... Views: 136
We all want to get our needs met, but manipulators use underhanded methods. Manipulation is a way to covertly influence someone with indirect, deceptive, or abusive tactics. Manipulation may seem benign or even friendly or flattering, as if the person has your highest concern in mind, but in ... Views: 134
Dear Dr. Romance:
My husband and I have been married for over thirty years. Our children are grown. We own our home , but have a mortgage. Throughout the years, there has been financial infidelity: When we got married, my husband was evading bills from retail stores. I ... Views: 227
Solstice is the day near year end when the sun is furthest away from the Earth, and immediately begins to come closer again. Solstice marks a celestial turning point, and it’s no coincidence that we celebrate the end of the old year, and begin a new year of birth and renewal at this time. ... Views: 173
In a previous article “From Struggling to Solving” I discussed how to get from arguing to solving problems. Getting into the right frame of mind is a great start, but many of my clients also need steps for how to solve problems. Here are three of my most effective ... Views: 155
There are people I love who are easy to be around, and others I love who are more difficult for me. It’s not that they’re bad people, others get along with them fine, and, actually, so do I. It’s just that I have to work a little bit more to understand what they mean, to ... Views: 190
Jealousy can be one of the most and disruptive and harmful of emotions. Often jealousy in relationships is directed at the present or the future. It is rooted in a fear of future loss - fear that one may lose their partner to something that is happening currently, or might happen in the ... Views: 184
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm a 70-yr old man who has been married more than forty years. I read your article "Autonomy and Dependency" I feel like I've been in a codependency relationship the last fifteen years and havedeveloped anxiety & depression. My wife is a ... Views: 174
Three Questions to Answer in Measuring the Success of Your Relationship
“Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.” ~James Dobson.
A writing colleague and dear friend of mine who is ... Views: 183
In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusingwhere one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the ... Views: 236
There is a genius to courageous loving because we have to access something we've forgotten and make it a real part of our lives again. It exists in each and every one of us yet it takes courage to access it. We can only access it when we become aware and we are ready for it.
I believe, we are ... Views: 175
Dear Dr. Romance:
I do not like my job, I have two more classes before I complete my masters in HR to move to a better position and recently passed the PHR certification. I was talking with my boyfriend about the environment at the company and how they are always threatening ... Views: 229
Technology can have a big impact on relationships. In my counseling office, I see many couples who are struggling over Internet and social media issues. The ability to work at home via computer and smart phone can mean arguing about how work spills over and absorbs relationship time. Secrets ... Views: 230
Have you ever found yourself thinking about your crazy schedule and experiencing a time crunch that impacts the quality time spent on your relationship? Balancing work and family with couple time, is a major concern that most couples express.
You may see yourself in part in the following ... Views: 220
Dear Dr. Romance:
I read your article about RESCUING: "Avoiding the Drama Triangle". I have been rescuing my mother from the big bad wolf my father. He would beat my mother, beat me, and beat my sister. I decided to rescue her. She decided for me to rescue her from her ... Views: 206
Is your special day just around the corner? If so, stress levels are probably high and you are feeling anxious about it. Though the perfect wedding requires a lot of preparation, you should learn how to relax and have a good time. Try the following checklist to get organised during your special ... Views: 227
In this 21st century whirlwind age of anything goes dating and mating, relationships stand a better than average chance of being torpedoed, due to inadequate care and attention. Below are eight ways to shore up your relationship and safeguard against any cracks and crevices that might ... Views: 158
As a Psychologist, Dr. Romance knows that when we're surrounded by images of violence, it becomes "normalized" and we stop seeing it as unusual.
Anyone who watches the news is becoming aware that we live in a violent society: According to the Peace Alliance:
• ... Views: 206
Maintaining long-term relationships can be a complex undertaking that requires significant time and attention. When things begin to go wrong, partners can take proactive steps to get the relationship back on track. These efforts can often make the difference between strengthening the partnership ... Views: 317
Dear Dr. Romance
Your web-site impressed me and prompted this note, and I'd appreciate your thoughts.I am a reasonably well-educated individual which includes a couple of degrees in psychology and have been quite successful in my career. My wife who is also well-educated and our ... Views: 209
Want to make sure your relationship is a success? Here are ten ways to bring the sparkle back and keep it going.
Dr. Romance's 10 Behaviors to Enhance Your Marriage
1. Talk frequently and honestly to each other --about your frustrations, about sex, about anger, about disappointment, ... Views: 250