Couples usually end up accepting the lack of desire and passion in their relationship as a fact of life for a longterm relationship. They are not happy or satisfied with this, but their attempts at remedying their lack of (passionate) physical intimacy don’t usually succeed.
The reason for this is partners’ misconceived ideas about sex, intimacy, and each other, unrealistic expectations, body issues, attachment issues, unmet developmental emotional needs, judgement and criticism, and owning of each other instead of themselves. The resulting mindset has a huge impact on their libido and the couple’s sexual life.
In addition to addressing the above, couples can greatly increase their passion by actively monitoring and engaging their mind. “Sex is not something we do, is somewhere we go,” says MFT colleague Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity. We usually focus on what we are doing. It’s not about technique, the motions, or the positions. It’s about Being deep inside our Selves in our body and our imagination. It’s an expression of our Self. How can we desire or be desired if we don’t exist …, show up?
It is our job to turn our Selves ON. The more confidence we feel, the better the sex. Turn the criticism and other owning buttons off. You don’t have to be perfect and neither does your partner. You don’t have to love everything about each other. You are both OK the way you are. You are both Hot!
Engage that part of you in your mind, and allow it to come out and play with your partner. Watch the video to assist you address the mindset holding you back and for practical steps for immediately creating greater passion:
5 Tips for Greater Passion
1) Lower Expectations
2) Invite, Entice …
3) Set-Up & Prepare
4) Work With Each Other
5) Expand Your Repertoire!
Every month can be a Month of Love. Start enjoying greater passion today. Watch the video to learn about these steps and start applying them now. Complete the MetroRelationship (sm) Assignment below to assist you effortlessly make changes and immediately start experiencing the relationship you want.
Surprise your Self and your partner with increased desire and passion!
Happy Desiring all Year Around!
~ Your MetroRelationship (sm) Assignment
Set an alarm to check-in 3x/day: 1) look around you, appreciate something beautiful and add more beauty to your environment, 2) check on how your body feels, what it needs and give this to your Self, and 3) pay attention to your thoughts, accept them, and add a vision of sensuality …
Copyright (c) 2014 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Ms. Viglucci has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology and Human Development, from the State University of New York at Stony Brook, and a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, from Hofstra University, is a Clinical Member and Approved Supervisor of AAMFT (American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy), a Certified Family Therapist, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Certified Imago Therapist. Ms. Viglucci has been in the mental health service field for over a decade in diverse capacities and has been a member of several professional organizations. She is the creator of the Successful Couples (sm) ezine programs and products to assist Couples in their Journey. Ms. Viglucci brings Relationship Enrichment Insights to couples through her newsletter, blog, speaking engagements and media outlets.
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