How to Let Others Teach You A Bit More Self-Love

EFT is a very powerful technique. It takes people from a place of Small or Medium self-love to a Large self-love, or as it is usually measured, from a 2-6 on a scale of 0-10 to a 9 or a 10. So it often seems such a shame when I meet someone new to tapping that only loves themselves maybe a 1 or 2 out of ten. Sometimes, this is someone quite experienced in tapping, although it is rare.

One very powerful statement used in EFT is ¨I deeply love myself¨ or ¨I deeply and completely love and accept myself¨. However, when self-love is at a very low level, it may be hard to say ¨I love myself¨. There is a very good reason however, why self-love and self-acceptance are part of the Setup. This is because when we are psychologically reversed, secondary-gain-influenced, or just plain scared of change, self-love can release that psychological reversal for us. In the same vein, if we cannot self-love more than a minimal amount, then we struggle to break through the psychological reversal and achieve what we want. After all, who wants to help someone they totally detest? If you hated yourself, it would be a lot harder to want to help yourself than if you loved yourself.

However, that is all very logical, but emotionally, feelings and thoughts can be very different. Sometimes it can seem hard to find things we like about ourselves, let alone love. So, one thing you can start with is to ask other people to tell you what like about you. Ask an acquaintance, friend, lover, or co-worker. This of course is not a replacement for your own love. Rather, it is a first step to help you learning how to love yourself. Perhaps more correctly said, it is a first step to help you trust that you may be lovable. You may need to hear what people perceive is good about you before you can appreciate those values in yourself.

It may feel hard to ask. This may trigger fears of rejection. But that is OK. This is what EFT is there for. You can tap the following statements for 15 minutes each day, until you summon the courage to ask people in your life to tell you the good that they see in you.

Setup:

“Even though it's scary asking people what they think of me, I'm afraid of hearing my worst fears, I am willing to accept and honor my feelings anyway.”

Reminder (Just say one sentence on each point at a time in order to save time):

“This scary feeling. I am willing to consider that I am only scared of what I imagine people will say about me, not what they really think about me. I am willing to consider that I am my own worst critic, and that others view me in a much better light than I feel about myself.”

Just tap like this daily for 15 minutes without SUDS (numbers). Keep at it. Persevere. And one day, you will feel the courage to ask a few people, maybe initially those that matter least to you.

Now, you will get some compliments. If those feel uncomfortable, you can tap the following Setup and Reminder in one:

“Even though I feel uncomfortable receiving compliments, I honor my feelings anyway.”

Tap the above at least 3 times a day every day until it feels safe to receive a compliment.

Carry on asking and tapping until you feel it is safe that others may like you. Then you will have crossed a brave threshold on your way to self-love. Congratulate yourself on your journey thus far. One step at a time, you will one day feel more at ease with yourself and the world around you. Take this journey one step at a time. Easy does it.