When you tell someone not to let money affect his life, it is like telling them not to let oxygen affect their breathing which is highly unlikely surely one is going to affect the other.
A huge part of my life was filled with worry about money. Before, whenever I looked at my bank account, I’d get this sinking feeling in my stomach. It was not something I would look forward to, but today when clients of mine come to me with money problems I tell them that, “money doesn’t CHANGE anything; it REVEALS everything.” Money has a way of magnifying situations and things. For example let us say that you are a poor jerk. If you suddenly become rich then you will only become a rich jerk who is even jerkier. On the other hand, if you are a poor nice person then you will become an even nicer person when you are rich. These can be associated with problems as well. If your relationship is having problems then expect them to be exacerbated when money is dwindling. That is why we should make an effort to ensure that our relationships are healthy even if we are having money problems.
I have listed below 4 assumptions that we should avoid when money is tight:
1. You assume that a change in your money situation will not affect the relationship you are in. More often than not relationships change when there is a significant change in the money situation of the persons involved in the relationship. The irony of it is that those in close relationships tend to grow even closer together while those that have problems in the relationship only grow further from each other. What you should remember through these tough times is to keep your communication lines open and to think of solutions and ways to get through these tough times.
2. You should not assume that things will turn around for the better by themselves. This type of thinking is called The Ostrich Syndrome. All of us may have gone through this wherein we believe that someone out there will fix our problems. Now there is nothing wrong with believing that things will get better, the problem lies if we just wait foe things to happen without doing something to achieve the result that we want. The best way to overcome the Ostrich Syndrome is to create an action plan, and take one step at a time and move towards what you want.
3. One should not assume that you and your partner view money the same. This assumption causes more arguments than you can imagine. There are four behavioral styles that people fall into with regards to money. These behavioral styles are The Spender, The Saver, The Avoider, and The Monk. As the name suggests, the spender spends, the saver saves, the avoider avoids and the monk believes that money is “beneath” them. You can imagine how well a spender and saver get along with regards to money and what would happen if their income has been reduced largely. There is no wrong or right attitude about money. What is important is that as partners you openly communicate about how you view money and how you can work together harmoniously to manage your finances.
4. Do not assume that things will be this way forever. This thinking is the opposite of the ostrich syndrome. This is the why bother syndrome wherein you act halfheartedly because you do not want to bother with your efforts because you believe that things will stay the same as it already is so why bother doing anything? Your actions may lead to half-success or even less. It is good to be between the ostrich and why bother syndrome. It is also wherein Afformations or empowering questions have helped a huge number of people make better assumptions about their life and their relationship to it. When you ask Afformations like, “Why are things getting better?” and “Why did everything work out better than I thought it could?” it helps you focus your mind on positive assumptions, instead of negative ones.
Noah St. John is famous for inventing Afformations® and creating high-impact, customized strategies for fast-growing companies and leading organizations around the world.
His sought-after advice is known as the "secret sauce" to creating breakthrough performance.
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