The Secret of Success is in Your Yes

One important secret all successful people know is the importance of their “yes.” We all say yes to many things, and no to many things. However for most people it is largely unconscious and automatic. They have a default position that they live from every day and often do not look beyond that.

The problem is that we can very easily become controlled by what we say yes to. There are many unhelpful things you can say yes to, such as distractions that waste your time, people who drag on your energy, activities that serve no real purpose for you, thoughts that weaken your self-belief, habits that undermine your health, unnecessary emotional reactions and dramas, and so many more. In doing this you are then saying no to other things that would serve you better in those moments. I am sure we can all relate to this.

Try this powerful exercise and see what it reveals for you:

1. Identify something that you have your heart set on attaining or achieving.

2. Make a list of all the things you need to say yes to so you can bring it about, such as how
you spend your time, your consumption habits, the tasks you have to do, the relationships
you need to cultivate, the beliefs you subscribe to, the ways you communicate, and so on.

3. Now make a list of the things you habitually say yes to that undermine your goal, such as
wasting time, blowing the budget, get caught in people’s dramas, or whatever it is for you.

4. Beside each item on your second list identify how it is sabotaging your efforts to achieve
what you want. When you say yes to those things what are you saying no to from your
first list?

5. Can you see any patterns that you may need to challenge within yourself?

6. Make whatever commitment is appropriate to start to change all that.

Success is rarely an instant achievement. It is the outcome of vision, focus, discipline, choice, commitment, passion and consistent right action. You build success by consistently doing all the things that will lead to the realisation of your dreams, and removing all the things that will distract or stop you. Every day you have to be aware of what you are saying yes to. Is it building the solid foundation of success or is it wasting your time, scattering your energy, and leaving you depleted and frustrated?

This was expressed by the great poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in the lines:

The heights, by great men reached and kept,
Were not attained through sudden flight.
But they, whilst their companions slept,
Were toiling upwards in the night.

There is the success mind set in one simple verse. You need to do all the practical things like having a plan, creating systems, or organising your resources, but they will fail you in the end if you do not have this attitude. It comes down to your mind set, and to create a success mind set you need to be very conscious of what motivates you and the automatic unconscious habits you live by. Your level of conscious awareness has brought you to your current status quo, and if you want to expand that then you have to also expand your awareness.

To put it very simply if you want to achieve more you have to be more. If you want to achieve something great you have to be great, in your own unique way. And the good news is that you are infinitely open-ended. For example, let’s say you have a creative talent for writing or speaking. Now there is no limit to that talent. There is no point that says you can be creative up to here and no more. Such a limit does not exist, and that applies to success as a whole. There is no point that says this is as much success as possible.

So the important key is your belief and your attitude. I am sure we have all heard Henry Ford’s saying, “whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, either way you are right.” So if you go back to the above exercise and look at what was in your second list, what do those things say about your mind set and your attitude? What are your real beliefs about what is possible for you?

Each of us is a mixture of light and dark. We are capable of great success and achievement but we can also sink into apathy, lethargy, self pity and ultimate failure. We always have the choice and we need to choose consciously and carefully. The first choice is to choose the life you want and deserve. Then you choose the thoughts, beliefs and habits that will take you to that. This will also involve choosing to challenge yourself about any sabotage patterns you have lived with, and saying yes to the commitment and discipline required to change them.

Every time you say yes to what will fulfil you then you are saying yes to Life itself and Life will support you every step along the way. You step out of the experience of being pushed around by circumstances and into a life of mastery, abundance and freedom. That is your birthright and it awaits you right now. There is work to be done but there are many resources available to help you get started so that you can fully claim that birthright.

Enjoy saying yes to success.