Usually we have good intentions and mean to invest in our relationship. Somehow this fizzles from the moment we have that thought or attitude to the next moment… We are very fickle in our thinking about the status and course of our relationship. One moment we are partners for life, the next we can’t wait to get rid of our partner… I see this day in and day out…
I see this play out in two ways in relationships: One is lack of focus, discipline and commitment. I find that partners mean well, they have an attitude and perspective adjustment, agree to invest in their relationship to soon after lose focus, dedication, momentum and commitment to their investment…
The other includes the arrogant and resistant partners who question everything, lack faith, struggle owning themselves, get stuck in victimhood or in logic when the business of being in a relationship is far from logical… If you are like most partners you probably have a combination of these.
The key is to establish mechanisms to keep you from fizzling: Challenging your thinking and perspectives when your Ego kicks in – Get in touch with your Authentic Self, compassion, love… Stay vigilant for any negative, other owning, blaming, and not accountable or honorable thinking. As soon as you spot these, eradicate them.
Using your emotional system – Most couples have one partner that is very emotional and one that is not very in touch with their feelings… The emotional partner is to contain and self-regulate, moderate their feelings. The other is to get in touch with them and share them.
Implementing self-management systems – Create repetition patterns for self-care (i.e., get a massage the last Friday of the month) and to-dos (i.e., do laundry every Sunday morning) and schedule them as necessary.
Implementing relationship enrichment systems – Establish rituals and routines for your contribution and nurturing (i.e., weekly dates, appreciation times, getting current “appointments”, night time flow, etc.).
Getting support – Put in place whatever you need to help you stay focused and properly investing in your relationship and your life! Enlist or hire help for chores, childcare, house maintenance, finances, nutrition, fitness, health, relationship shifting and enriching, and others that fit your situation and desires.
When we are intentional about our approach to our relationship and our life, we can’t not create the relationship and life we desire. The key is to be as intentional as possible about everything… You are the creator of your relationship and your life. Make it count. Set out to create an Awesome Relationship and an Authentic Life!
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Life… Share your thoughts and progress on our blog page!
Happy Creating!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment Be very mindful of what thoughts you allow to rent space in your head! Your mindset and expectations create your reality… Be intentional about your thinking and expectations. Identify two things that bother you about your relationship. Examine your thinking around them. Change your Ego perspective and expectations to a Compassionate and Loving perspective RIGHT NOW! Add this to your Tool Kit…
Emma K. Viglucci is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couples ™ programs and products that assist couples succeed at their relationship and life. To get your downloadable relationship enrichment insights and receive her weekly successful couples articles, nurturing nuggets (sm) and other resources